So, Here's My Story...

You probably don’t expect the story of a rabbit statue at a Shinto temple in Japan to be the inspiration for an episode about the importance of deepening your business relationships, but here we are. Relationships in business are often looked at as transactional. But what happens when we see relationships as valuable in their own right? Why is that important for business?  So many of the lessons we are taught about marketing, about networking and about business development in general have a basis in the idea that what goes around comes around. There is an essential expectation of reciprocity, or that the relationship is a means to an end. The relationship is not seen as valuable in and of itself. When someone joins a close-knit business group, where the focus is on relationship-building, and begins to immediately cold call all of the members, it’s a turn off. They are missing the relationship aspect of business relationships and jumping right into asking for help.  Focusing on the relationship instead of the

Ever fallen in business love and just assumed you will be working together forever? Typically, life just doesn’t work that way – employees and teammates come and go in our career, even when we wish they didn’t. And even though we might intellectually know this, it doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes react badly.  Like so many of Eliot’s stories, this is one he isn’t proud of. Why is that important for business?  When you find that perfect person for a role in your business, it can be hard not to get carried away with what that means. We create a story of who and what they will be for us, and we think, somehow, it will be forever.  And then one day it isn’t. And in that moment, when we feel hurt and abandoned, we don’t always behave in a way we are proud of. Whoever said, “it’s not personal, it’s just business” either never ran their own business or is just a moron. It’s all personal.  This is such a common experience, yet it always comes with dollop of shame, and with the strong impulse to suppress the feelings.

There’s the part of the job that is in the job description and the part that is harder to define, but typically just as (if not more) valuable. This amorphous magic that someone brings to the work they do is hard to hire for and often, completely irreplaceable. Yet it can be considered superfluous. Why is that? Let’s discuss in this episode.  Why is that important for business?  There are people in our businesses who simply make things better. They may or may not excel at the specific tasks they were hired for, but they bring something intangible to their work that is often even more valuable. They create a role in the business that is completely “them-shaped”. And though a business might not hire specifically for that skill set, once it is discovered, it is difficult to lose.  Like a great team player on the basketball court (for example, Shane Battier https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shane_Battier), these people position themselves to make everyone around them better. Or, like BASF said in their marketing camp

Ever found yourself in the middle of a “who slept less or worked more” competition? It happens to the best of us, and it is always weird. So why do we do it? Let’s see what our intrepid hosts have to say about this entrepreneurial misery one-upmanship. Why is that important for business? Even if we would never admit it – or worse, outright deny it – busy working people often take a strange pride in being overworked. But if there is honour in being too busy or not sleeping – which is nonsense- then there is, conversely, dishonour in taking time off or taking care of ourselves. And that is also nonsense. We establish these rules for ourselves about how hard we work or how hard things are, but we can’t ever construct a rule for ourselves that only affects one side of the continuum. If we make it honourable to suffer, then we accidentally make it dishonourable to not suffer, or to take care of ourselves. There is often a distinct difference between the things we think we believe, and the things that show up in ou

Ego is a requirement of entrepreneurship, but it can also be an obstacle. Let’s go back to the recession of 2007/2008, where Eliot recounts some of his personal failings for us, so we can learn from his mistakes. Why is that important for business? Hope and optimism are necessary attributes of an entrepreneur; so is a healthy dose of ego. But they can also be dangerous. When you need to make tough decisions, all of these traits – assets though they might be – can become obstacles. Especially if you feel like the tough decisions are a result of your own personal failings, like layoffs when business is down. It can feel like you have fallen down, but the whole team gets a skinned knee. Entrepreneurs often wait to really look at how bad something is. But if we look early, if we ask for help and get clarity sooner, we can often avoid the worst of the pain. We can sometimes soften the landing for some of the people affected; we can give longer runways to find another job. But it can be hard not to fall into the tr

Are there any places in your business where you are falling short of expectations? You might be surprised. There are elements of service and care that, when present, make little impact. Yet when they are absent, they can make all the difference in how clients feel about you and your business. Miss them, and you might be telling clients not to return. Why is that important for business? It’s important to do periodic audits of the customer or client experience – are there any ways you are communicating the message that you care only until they’ve signed on the dotted line or paid the invoice? Are there ways you are telling your most precious asset – your existing client base – that you are going to squeeze every single dollar from them that you possibly can? This can be especially apparent when we try to make expense cuts. By adding a new line item to your invoice – one of the few documents you can be sure every client will scrutinize – you might be conveying a message that doesn’t make the client feel like rem

Sometimes things go sideways. Especially when we have big plans, but absolutely no…”plan”. Like, for instance, our “plan” to make last episode a two-parter. But as always – our stories are yours to learn from. Why is that important for business? When you are a busy entrepreneur with more ideas than time, things are bound to go sideways. Between the idea and the actual awareness of what it takes to execute the idea are often a massive disconnect. We want something to happen, we make no actual plan to make it happen, and *poof* frustration. Sometimes, it’s a matter of asking, “what would have to happen to make this idea a reality?” Before we even get to the action phase, we are skipping the part where we even evaluate how or what would need to happen. A missed opportunity like this usually involves a lot of skipped conversations. Everyone talks about how life has sped up, but there’s a deeper problem beyond the obvious lack of time to execute. We have almost developed an inability and intolerance to sink down i

It’s a very special 100th episode, which leads us to this important question: how do we celebrate milestones? It turns out, this is harder than it sounds. Why is that important for business? The act of intentionally creating a ritual in order to pause and feel the weight of an accomplishment, a milestone or an event – in business or in life – can actually help solidify the experience in your mind. It adds punctuation. Yet we are quite bad at celebrating these milestones in any way. Often, we will work incredibly hard to achieve some goal and then we go on immediately to the next thing without ever taking the time to enjoy or celebrate it.   It might not even be a question of celebrating, but simply acknowledging what the milestones even are. It is important to step back and ask, “where are the milestones of progress?” They don’t have to even be large milestones – anointed from on high to be worthy of celebration –but the small marks of progress or of doing the necessary work of our business. Because really, i

There’s a difference between taking a side door into an opportunity and gaming the system. Just what that difference is and why it matters is what we want to talk about in this episode. Why is that important for business? Some marketing can feel a little extra…gross. But working to get a seat at the table feels a lot different than gaming the system to create the illusion of a seat, or a title or a reward. It’s the difference between hustle and manipulation. And it’s a recipe for Imposter Syndrome. On the other hand, there is a point when a fierce commitment to integrity can keep you from doing the things you need to do to get you where you want to be. This is where it is important to embrace the side door and look for an opportunity to be judged on your own merits. Resources Mentioned Tim Ferriss, The 4-Hour Workweek https://fourhourworkweek.com/ What story do you want to tell? So, that's our story... now, we want to hear yours! Pull up a chair and join the conversation in our Facebook Group: bit.ly/shmsgrou

Feedback can be a tricky thing. If you listen to every opinion that you hear, it’s easy to get lost. But if you ignore valuable input simply because you don’t understand the perspective, you can easily get stuck in a rut. The art of eating the fish and spitting out the bones is a fine one, and it’s worth a discussion. Why is that important for business? If you’ve ever led a workshop where feedback forms are handed out to participants, you know very well the frustration of hearing diametrically opposing feedback on the exact same topic. Or it may be obvious that the participants simply cannot perceive their lack of understanding on a topic. (See the Dunning-Kruger Effect https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect). Feedback always says way more about person giving it than it does about you. This isn’t to say that you should ignore it, but simply that you cannot gobble down every bite as inarguable truth. Input is simply a piece of a puzzle; sometimes a statistically insignificant piece. So wh

Business is chock full of snarly, complicated problems, and sometimes, they are especially hard to wrangle when we are close to them. Like watching someone else parallel park a car, outsider knowledge doesn’t have to be profound to see what we can’t – it just has to have the benefit of not being in the car with us. Why is that important for business? We can tend to have blind spots when it comes to our own problems, and this includes the problems of our business. But it is important to remember that what is crazy hard to you is someone else’s sweet spot. Instead of the solution being something you bring, often it is someone else that is required to solve the problem. If you are struggling with a knowledge base that isn’t yours, take a couple of steps back and ask who you need to bring in.   Of course, once you have the solution, you might feel like you can do it yourself. After all, you are surely talented enough, and not above the work. But you must consider if it is your highest and best use of time, or if

While you can’t always be looking down at your feet in business, sometimes, short-term solutions are necessary. They can give you enough momentum and energy (and maybe even resources) to find a more permanent solution. And sometimes, they provide just enough organized chaos to shake things up in the long term. Why is that important for business? When we are trying to fix a problem, we often try to find a solution that we can maintain long term. This is, of course, logical. However, sometimes you need a short-term fix, and in those cases, different rules apply. We may just need to get started. While we may not be able to maintain our short-term solution in the long run, it can provide value and space to come up with a more permanent solution. Although running a business involves seeing the big picture, sometimes, especially in crisis, it can help to look at it like AA and take one day at a time. The key is to make sure you are making these decisions consciously. You may take on different types of work in speci

Have you ever hired a close friend or a family member? There is so much that is wonderful about hiring someone you already trust. But there are also inherent risks: what happens if things go wrong? Will you lose both an employee and the relationship? Let’s talk about untangling the risks and rewards of hiring friends and family. Why is that important for business? People rarely move through life in lockstep. If something goes wrong, how do you fire your best friend? Conflict at the best of times can be a challenge. Dealing with it with someone who is close to you in your personal life, in addition to your professional life, can feel even more fraught. Sometimes, instead of dealing with the conflict, we just assume they’ll also just know it isn’t working and will leave on their own. But you have to be prepared beforehand to deal with conflict, even when the professional might bleed into the personal. Because really, business is absolutely personal. Unfortunately, people have a story that they shouldn’t have in

It’s not often that a quest to find the perfect red lipstick leads you instead to a great business analogy. But when it happens, it’s probably going to happen to Jodi. Let’s talk about whether you are accentuating the right things in your business. Why is that important for business? How often do we attempt to apply solutions to things simply because they are the solutions of the moments, not because they are the right solution for us? We see someone doing something cool on social media or in their marketing and try to make it our solution as well. But – like red lipstick - just because it works great for someone else doesn’t make it the best answer for us. Consultants and coaches can also do this – they arrive with a ready solution without considering the fit for the business. Of course, there is an important distinction to be made between stretching a comfort zone and proposing a solution that doesn’t accentuate the best features of a business. There is value in being willing to explore something outside of

Have you ever used the phrase “integrity is our watchword” in an onboarding document? Do you have a “behind-the-scenes tour” you give new hires, to show them what working at your company is really like? How you onboard will affect how new hires integrate and perform. And it might force Jodi to make her rolly-eye face.   Why is that important for business? There are several parts to a good onboarding process: The logistics of the company. This is almost pure data and gives the basics of how the company functions. The basics of your job. You need to understand what you will be doing and where the resources to do your job can be found. The cultural tour: All the invisible minutiae that makes up the “real” culture. Onboarding is more than just knowing where the bathroom is; part of onboarding needs to include a behind-the-scenes tour of the culture of the company. What are the rules of engagement that are unique to this workspace? Who can put what in the refrigerator? Do you reply all, or will that make everyon

There is a lot of talk about “finding your passion” in this world. For some, their passion is so clear that it is almost inevitable. For others, though, the idea of finding their passion weighs them down and makes them feel incomplete. But passion isn’t a package you find where all you have to do is untie the bow. Often, it’s more like following a trail of breadcrumbs to an unassembled piece of Ikea furniture. And that’s the kind of passion we want to talk about in this episode. Why is that important for business? It is easy, in a “job”, to feel like you are simply killing time before you find what it is you are really “meant” to be doing. It can also be easy to not invest in employees who are good workers, but who aren’t committed to staying. But what if both sides were to act as if that job is the passion? Even if the person leaves the job, they are both still better off for having made the effort, and in that work, breadcrumbs – facets of the work – will often be revealed that are part of the employee’s pa

Today, we meet Eliot’s sadistic side. In a story about the baseline criteria that he demands from his students (as well as a little glimpse into how he enjoys making students squirm), we get a great discussion about expectations, feedback, and the price of admission. Why is that important for business? When do you get to the point where - regardless of perspectives – work simply isn’t good enough? There is a difference between setting a bar for someone – here is the minimum level of skill and participation I expect from you - and being in a feedback conversation, where there is a need for specificity. In responding to someone who hasn’t met your expectations, it is important to consider what short term and long term results you are looking to get. Sometimes the problem is with content or substance. But sometimes you can’t hear the substance because of the noise of the appearance. It’s important to be clear where the problem lies, and what result you want out of the interaction. It is challenging to have a nua

What work culture are you strengthening or weakening every day with your language, your behaviors and your messaging? Maybe you need to make it more like jury duty! Why is that important for business? How you frame the work you and your team are doing is how they are going to experience it, and how they are going to share it with your clients. The messages you are delivering should consistently be helping your employees buy-in to the meaning of the service; that meaning has to be baked into the culture. Every person and every significant step in the process should all be singing from the same sheet of music. When you are trying to change the messaging of your organization, you first have to determine what that new message even means. Then you have to determine who the front-line personnel responsible for making that change are, figure out how to get buy-in from them, and establish the little things that the organization can do in terms of the interactions with those you hope to impact – the public. It is impo

A simple holiday trip to Grandma’s house teaches us a lot about delegating and the balance between micromanaging and full autonomy in this episode. Why is that important for business?   There are two traps at either end of managing people and delegating responsibility that can both be problematic: 1. Not making space for the story of them to evolve and micromanaging them, or; 2. Giving them full autonomy, perhaps before they are ready or developed for that responsibility.   So how do navigate this fine line? Often, a great first place to look are at the stakes of the project. Look for low and medium stakes issues to delegate – areas that you can leave room for some autonomy, and even some failure, because they can be repaired or fixed if a problem occurs.  Like in parenting, if you want your team to be able to handle disappointment or frustration, you have to let them be disappointed or frustrated. If you want to delegate, you must first let people have low stakes failures and allow them to develop. You have

What behaviors are you encouraging and measuring in your business? Are those behaviors actually creating the results you want? It might just be that you are building an environment where your people are learning to game the system instead of achieving the results you are looking for. And that’s exactly what we’re talking about in this episode. Why is that important for business?  In lots of organizations, people are judged by things that may be completely irrelevant to what the organization is trying to attain. It can be easy for a company to focus on the wrong thing, and not measure what they think they are. It is important to ask yourself: are the behaviors that I am noticing, acknowledging and maybe even rewarding the behaviors that I really care about? And are they leading to the outcomes that I really care about? It is especially important to note that hours aren’t necessarily reflective of productivity. When businesses create incentive programs, they often end up incentivizing the wrong behavior.   It i