Caregiving For Dementia

Once again this week I was on Facebook. I was in some of the caregiving for dementia support group’s, and I’ve got a few questions that I had answered and I thought I would just make an episode out of the questions. 1:33 – 4:40         The 1st question that I come upon was, someone had said something about getting their loved one in iPhone and iPad or an android. I wasn’t really sure why they were talking about it, but my advice to the writer was, don’t do that. Here in the house, Mama has times when she likes to throw things and if we were to get her something like that. Mama is not a very techie person, but if we were to get her something like that and she got into this mood where she would want to throw it. She would just throw it not realizing what it was or how expensive it was. You’re not only out the money of the gadget, but you’re also out the money for the contract that you have to have. Plus you would be out the money to get whatever it was fixed. So I suggested due to the fact of the expense

Getting some Help with your Caregiving Episode # 77 In this week’s episode, I talk a little bit about getting help with your caregiving, because after dealing with this disease for 7 almost 8 years now, I’m finding it very difficult to do everything by myself. We have ran on to a lady from our church who is willing to come in and sit with mom and help take care of mom. And Stephanie and I are really thrilled with the way she handles mom. This lady, not only helps mom to the bathroom, she gives mom a bath, dresses mom, and even takes a little bit of toothpaste on one of her fingers with a Playtex glove to brush mamas gums and tongue. She also fixes food and not just for mom, but for whoever’s in the house. We’ve had help in here before through an agency, but that become very expensive. Here in the DC area. They are $20 an hour and up, but they do not take care of mom, the way that this lady from the church does. They command and they would help mom go to the bathroom when necessary, but that was pr

Not Understanding Dementia Episode # 76 This week’s episode, I talk a little bit about some of the things that I don’t understand about dementia. One of the things that I don’t understand is where dementia comes from 2 how you get dementia and 3 why does it act the way it does. It doesn’t seem that anyone knows exactly where or how you get this devastating disease of dementia. No one seems to know why it acts the way it does. There are some that say it’s connected to concussions, but the problem I have with that so far is the fact that, as far as I know. Mamas never had a concussion. So if dementia is connected to concussions why or how did mom get it. I also don’t understand the way it affects some people so quickly because at episode 46, I talk about your personal appearance, because I had gotten my haircut and shave my beard. Episode 46 is a recording of the reactions I got from mom. When I recorded episode 46 Mama was so happy that I cleaned up. She was happy she ran her fingers through my ha

Mental Stress Episode # 75 In this episode, I talk a little bit about mental stress while caregiving for our loved one. There are a whole lot of things that goes on that I don’t share in the podcast. There may come a time when I’m able to do so, but as of right now I don’t feel comfortable sharing everything that goes on. There’s a lot of times when there is of good bit of back and forth between Stephanie and I, Michael and I, Stephanie and I and Michael that we don’t go into in the podcast. There’s a lot of things that Mama does and says that she would not do or say, if it were not for this devastating disease of dementia and there are times when you have to step back and catch your breath to where you can handle some of the things that are said and done that are quite hurtful at times I do not have any real good answers for anyone who’s dealing with stress while they are caregiving. My solution a whole lot of the time is getting on the computer. This is where I spend most of my time tha

In this episode, episode # 74 I’m a little bit all over the place with some things that I found on Facebook. I had joined some caregiving for dementia and Alzheimer’s support groups on Facebook. With being in those support groups, I have been able to come up with some really good content. One of those things that I’ve seen in these groups is someone had asked a question, If the medication that they were giving their loved one would help? With dealing with dementia for or the past 6, 7, 8 years, I can honestly say that the medication does not seem to help a whole lot other than the fact of making the one that you giving the medicine to sleep all day long. I would rather have mom awake a little bit and have a little bit of a hard time, then I would to have Mama sleep and be a zombie all the time. I also saw someone talking in the group about putting their what I believe their mother in a home. they were talking about their mothers dog having arthritis, and something about whether or not to let their mot

Care Giving for Dementia I will Episode 73 I come to you again this week with yet another poem from a Face book group that I had joined. The poem or saying that was posted was posted by Michelle DeSocio. The saying is as follows. I will When you forget I will remember for the both of us When you get lost I will find you When you are sad I will be sad with you When the fear comes I will comfort you When you cry I will dry your tears When you lash out at me I will not be angry When you repeat I will have patience When you forget my name I will understand When you can’t eat I will feed you When your legs fail I will carry you When you long for home I will be your safe place When your journey is ending I will be by your side I will love you for eternity I will I talk a good bit in the podcast about Mama being sad. She seems to be said so much. She cries out of the blue for absolutely no reason at all and I tell her, there’s no reason to cry. I do my best not to get angry when she lashes out at us, but I fail mis

Care Giving for Dementia Episode # 72 Mistakes I talk a lot in this episode about mistakes in life and caregiving and mistakes in general. We all make mistakes and we will make mistakes and till death. This is just part of life and no one or anything will stop you from making mistakes, whether that be in life in general, or within your caregiving journey. I don’t know about you all, but I know that when caregiving journey is said and done, I will always ask myself, certain questions like, did I do everything I could for Mama, what did I do that we should not have done things like that. I’ve always been told that you should never do anything in haste. The decisions that you make in a haste are always the ones that you regret later on. I know when I go to buy a car. I have learned never to buy the car 1st time you look at it. I always end up regretting it. Every car bought in a haste I have regretted buying. In our caregiving journey. I know that there are mistakes that we’ve made. I know that there are things

Caregiving for Dementia Don’t ask me to Remember Episode # 71 One of the things I constantly hear from veteran podcasters is be where your audience is. The people that are listening to your podcast are hanging out in certain places such as Facebook, LinkedIn, that kind of thing. You need to be where they are. You need to be able to talk to them. You need to find out what they’re thinking what they ’re talking about what they have questions about. So this week I went and joined some caregiving for dementia support groups on Facebook. This week’s episode. Don’t ask me to remember is something that was shared by Sherrie Smith in one of the Facebook groups that I had joined. It reads as follows. Don’t ask me to remember. Do not try to make me understand. Let me rest and know you’re with me. Kiss my cheek and hold my hand. I’m confused beyond on your concept. I am sad, sick and lost. All I know is that I need you with me at all cost. Do not lose your patience with me. Do not scold or curse my crying. I can’t help

I talked this week in a podcast about why society thinks it’s all right, just to put sick people, your loved ones that you are caring for in a long-term care facility. I talked to mom is Dr. and that was one of the things that he was talking about was putting her in a nursing home. I don’t understand why people are constantly asking, why mamas not in a nursing home ? She’s not in a nursing home because I refuse to put her in a nursing home and as long as I am physically and mentally capable of taking care of her. She will not see the inside of a nursing home. That’s not to mention the expense of a nursing home. I mean, were talking $10,000 a month. Not only that but nursing home will take care of her , the way I will. They’ll doper up some much to where she won’t even know whether it’s day or night out. The lever sit in wet and dirty diapers for Lord knows how long. So no, she will not see the inside of a nursing home. As long as I can take care. I’m not doing anything for Mama that Mama didn’t do for me when

In this episode, I talk about things that I worry about. Things like whether or not mommy’s eats, whether or not were giving her the right medication, or even the fact whether or not the doctors are giving her too much medication. I also talk a little bit about worrying about the family being out in bad weather. Mama seems to be getting more and more agitated. She doesn’t always want to what we needed to do. I don’t know whether that’s because we’ve taken some of the medication away from her or if it’s because the dementia is getting worse. If we give her the medication the doctor wants us to give her. She sleeps all the time. I would prefer her to be up and awake and agitated and be able to talk. It’s not really talking to her. Then I would for her to be sleeping all the time. When your caregiving for someone you have to put that person ahead of everything else that you may be worried about, because they cannot take care of themselves. You need to worry about what they need more so than the other worries tha

I talk just a little bit about some things that you inherit from your family. I don’t mean the inheritance that you get when someone dies and leaves you money or any kind of material possession. What I’m talking about is your hair color your eye, your nose your mouth that kind of thing. When your firstborn. People always say you look like this when we look like that when and that’s the kind of inheritance and want to talk to you this week about. The thing that makes you, you is what I want to talk about. You know your outlook on life. Your attitude your temper your bullheaded all that kind of stuff that just makes you-you is what I want to talk about this week. Every once in a while I tell Mama that I have inherited her bullheadedness and daddy’s temper. And most of the time that works to get her to do what we needed to do, but it doesn’t work always so what I mean by that is the fact that all I need to do is hold my ground until she gets tired enough to where she’ll do what we needed to do. Most of the time

I called this Christmas not due to the way Mama reacted to Christmas this year. In 4 years. We have went from being able to go Christmas shopping cannot even knowing what Christmas is. 4 years ago, Mama was able to go Christmas shopping for self. 3 years ago, she was able to tell somebody to go get something for somebody for Christmas. Last year she was able to open her own presence. In 2018 Mama doesn’t even know what Christmas is. She was unable to open any of her presence. She was barely able to stay awake for supper. One thing that I do know for sure is although we may be losing mom. She has not forgotten how to give good hugs. Quite often anymore when I go out when I come home I usually need a hug from Mama. One day this week, Stephanie and I went to the movie we saw the Clint Eastwood’s latest movie The Mule. The Mule is not a Dirty Harry movie. However, for being 88 years old, still able to talk, walk, drive act and direct this movie is awesome. However, when your caregiving for someone you need to be

I’m a Baby Episode # 66 In this episode, I talk about babies. Were only a few days away from Christmas? And a lot of people are talking about the baby Jesus. Now I don’t know whether it’s all the talk of Christmas here to house, or if Mama honestly thinks she is a baby because of her dementia. This week here in the house, Mama has called herself a baby. You may find yourself in your 50s thinking about whether or not you want to have another child. I would suggest to you, though. Before you take that step move your elderly parents in, especially if they have a physical or mental problem to where they need help 24 7 365. You see, you may find yourself in a position that stuff and I’ve found ourselves in where was a baby, you can do what you want when you want, how you want, but when you’re taking care of an adult. It’s not that easy. You find yourself without time to explain to them what, why and how you doing things. From time to time you may wish you were of a certain age, but you want to go back to that age.

Caregiving for Dementia Frustrations Episode 65 In this week’s episode of care giving for dementia, I discuss some of the frustrations that I find myself with taking care of Mama with her dementia. Some of the things that she does really frustrates me because their things that she taught me how to do. It’s the simple things that we all take for granted that she can no longer do. When you’re the caregiver of someone there are a lot of things that you do to keep them safe and healthy that they may or may not understand why or what you are doing. Now you think about it. If you had a mental disease to the point where you did not know what was going on around you and somebody was doing things to you, for you, with you that you did not understand what they were doing or why they were doing it. How frustrating would that be for you? I find it very frustrating trying to keep mom healthy and safe. When Mama doesn’t realize what’s going on. Mamas to the point where she can’t walk, so she has to be picked up and moved e

Care Giving for Dementia Putting Things Off Episode # 64 This week’s episode once again brings us to the holiday season. I discuss the past 2 years of the holiday season, along with discussing whether or not once again to decorate for Christmas. Decorations seem to irritate mom with her dementia. Christmas has lost its meaning. Michael is all grown up so Christmas doesn’t mean a whole lot to Stephanie and I anymore right now. Put things off, at times because you either have time and no money or you have money and no time to do the things that you want to do. So they get put off. And a lot of times they get put off permanently do to money. I’m finding myself putting a lot of things off right now and it’s got nothing to do with having money or the time to do them got to do with taking care of Mama. When you’re younger you put off a lot of things, thinking that you’ll get to them eventually. The longer you put them off the more they can cost you. Stephanie and I’ve found ourselves in situations where if we to ha

Caregiving for Dementia Being Forced to Stay Gone! Episode # 63     I just got back from DC pod Fest. I had to force myself to stay away from the house because I was mentally still here, still taking care of Mama. I found it very difficult to focus on the sessions at DC pod Fest because I couldn’t get my mind to let go of the caregiving. I want to thank Jennifer Crawford and her team at DC pod Fest for putting together a great event. The event was fabulously put together. The event was jam-packed full of great podcasting information. I’m already looking forward to DC pod Fest in 2019. With that said, though I found it very difficult to focus on any of the sessions that I was attending because I couldn’t get my mind off of what was going on here at the house. I was still caregiving for my mother even though I was physically gone. My mind would not leave the house. One of the problems that the main caregiver for someone has is getting away from all the caregiving. In other words, you may get physically away. Yo

Caregiving for Dementia Caregiver Gone Episode # 62 This week’s show, I’ve called caregiver gone because I am the main caregiver and I’m going to be gone for almost 2 days. Although I’m going to be fairly close to home. I’m not going to be right here to take care of Mama. With me not going to be home for 2 days that leaves Michael and Stephanie to take care Mama and they do things different than I do, and Mama’s not used to that. Mama is used to me mom is used to the way I do things. So I’m worried that the change may be a bit hard for Mama. I have left the house for a couple of hours here in a couple hours there. Leaving either Michael or Stephanie to take care of mom, since mamas gotten sick. I haven’t left her for 2 days. Every time I leave the house. I feel a little guilty because I’m the one that’s needs to be taking care mom. This will be the 1st time that I’ve gone off and left mom for any length of time and yes I do feel extremely guilty. When Stephanie and I went to our support group for caregivers’

Caregiving for Dementia Doing the Hard Things Episode # 61 In this episode, I discuss a few things that Stephanie and I are having a real hard time doing. The older you get more hard things there are for you to do. When you’re in school homework is hard and the higher you get in school, the harder the homework becomes. Will this week’s episode of care giving for dementia, I talk about things here in the house that are really hard for Stephanie and I to do. When I talk about things that are hard to do. I’m talking about raise your kids the right way. It’s harder to turn them loose when they become young adults. Stephanie and I find it very hard to turn loose of the boy in fact, there are times when we telling he still can’t do something, and he’s like daddy. I’ve seen movies and I’m sure that you gone through a in your life to where someone has passed away, and there spouse doesn’t want to go through their things. They don’t want to go through their things because it’s too hard. Well, I’ve had just a little ta

Caregiving for Dementia No Name Episode # 60 I had too many names for this episode of caregiving for dementia. So I called this episode. No name because I couldn’t pick one. One of the reasons why I didn’t pick a name for this episode is the fact that one week we’ve taken some of mama’s medication away from her. Which, has woken her up, to the point where she can now carry on a small conversation, or at least to the point where you could figure out what she’s talking about, and to her appetite is back. Yeah, mama’s appetite is back. There lies the question, are we doing the right thing by taking her medication away? I feel that we have because it’s woken her up to where we can talk to her. She’s now eating. And I mean eating. We have a serving spoon for food and last night we give Mama a spoonful of macaroni butter, applesauce, and a little bit of pork chop. Mama ate extremely well, she had over half a spoonful of macaroni butter she had a spoonful and a half of applesauce and she probably ate half of the por

 This week’s episode is about some changes that we need to make. We were at the dinner table. The other night and Mama looked at me and got angry was ready to fight. The boy looked at her, grabbed her hand and said grandma, grandma, calm down. We had come in from church and we were eating dinner and we were all sitting around the table and we were talking. All of a sudden mom looked at me and she got really angry and I didn’t know why I mean we had been holding 15 minutes, so one anything we did or said. But she got this really angry look on her face and started yelling a little bit what she was yelling we couldn’t say. But Michael looked at her and took her by the hand and said grandma, calm down, calm down, grandma and wouldn’t you know, lo and behold, she looked at him and it was like a light switch immediately. She calmed down. This went back-and-forth couple 3 times. Maybe and Michael eventually said trade me sides, daddy. I looked at him and I asking what you mean trade you sides. He say come over here