So, Here's My Story...

Ever have a product or service’s description leave something out that didn’t quite make you want to complain, but falls into the category of “would have been nice to know”? Ever heard a bear described as a “carnivore danger floof”? Well, we have got a treat for you in this episode! Why is that important for business?  When you are advertising a product or service and questioning how much to reveal (to both avoid disappointment and avoid scaring off potential customers), you want to make the disclosure factual but the wording emotional. You want people to have a reaction that aligns with what you have to offer. When a business that has well defined-values, it allows people to decide whether they are aligned or not with that business (https://soheresmystory.com/ep123-sugar-spice-radiating-values/). This is much the same as truth in advertising – when you make it clear what is on offer, the right people will be able to self-select based on their priorities. You want to provide enough information against which so

When do you talk to your leadership team about your business challenges? How about your spouse? When does leadership mean “this is my problem to solve”, and when do you wrap the rest of your organization in on your decisions? Let’s talk about it! Why is that important for business?  Some businesses don’t rely on their leadership for much of anything, and think leadership is a matter of figuring out the solution and then sharing it with the rest of the team. On the other end of the spectrum, some tell their leadership everything, and it can affect morale and have negative repercussions on retention. When we don’t use our team, we miss out on other thinking, nor do we engage their talent fully. And if we don’t believe in their ability to contribute to the solution – that’s another problem altogether.  At the same time, we need to be conscious of our own emotional state before we infect the whole company with it, which is why it’s good to come to the table once we are ready for solutions, and not just panicking.

When you are faced with a decision – whether it be about a job candidate, a summer cottage, or Thai food – it’s incredibly important to figure out the difference between a need and a want. This episode is all about indecision, second-guessing and a little bit of regret.  Why is that important for business?  Much like the Aesop fable about the dog with the bone (http://read.gov/aesop/026.html), we can get confused by too many options, and end up without what we really needed or wanted. The common denominator in these moments of indecision is that we aren’t figuring out our real priorities in terms of what we want vs need. Prioritizing what matters the most creates limiters that make the decision easier to make.  Something that fits 9/10 of our criteria is meaningless if the one things that’s missing is a mission critical piece. If the most important piece is the part that’s missing, you’d be better off with 7/10, as long as it included the most important part. It is often our non-critical wants that cause prob

Whether in meditation or business, it’s important to periodically ask yourself – what’s going on right now, in this moment. Because as important as the future is, we just don’t have enough information to live there.  Why is that important for business?  In this time of unprecedented uncertainty, we are getting a concentrated dose of the frustration inherent in not being to predict the future. But it’s also a good reminder to bring ourselves back into the present moment – what are pain points right now? Instead of focusing on generating future problems to solve, what current problem do you have that requires a solution? When people talk about pain points, they are often talking about anticipated pain points.  As a leader, we need to be able to look at multiple sightlines to gauge where you are – we need to see the horizon but also our own feet. There is a narrative about how disproportionately important planning, and the horizon, are. We need periodic reminders to not look too far out and try to solve future p

How many times have you been told you are “too much” for someone – too loud, too talkative, too pensive. Now – how many times have you let someone believe they were too much?  Why is that important for business?  The right people are going to welcome your “too much”, and a smart business understands the opportunity available in “too much”. Some of the most amazing people you know have been accused of some version of “too much”, and as members of the "Too Much" Club, we need to learn an important lesson, right from Jodi’s mom’s mouth to our ears: “Never cut off your toes to fit in a boot.” Telling someone they are too much stunts their development and stops growth, all the things that make a great leader. Anything that trims a person down and files their edges is criminally (not literally, but you get the point) unfortunate.   If people are telling you not to be yourself, they aren’t your people.  It becomes almost a litmus test for finding your people, because your people will appreciate all the too muchness

Have you ever thought about the difference between staying and not leaving? There is very different energy between the two, even though we confuse them. Sometimes the middle lane seems like a lane where you can hang out and coast, and not make a choice, but it can be a dangerous place to stay. In this episode, let’s talk about that place between staying and leaving.  Why is that important for business?  In companies, often there is an employee that someone is frustrated with, but no one is ready to terminate. Whether it be because of value or potential or just the hassle of hiring someone else, they are kept on and both parties live in that dangerous middle lane.  Sometimes “stuck” is when you already know what you want to do, but you are not ready to admit or commit to that choice. If you make demands and they do everything you ask, are you going to be happy? Or are you going to be disappointed that, even though they have met all of the theoretical criteria that set out for them, you are still not satisfied

The phrase “means and methods” might not mean a lot to you, but it can make all the difference in both employee satisfaction, and the success of your business. Which is why we want to talk about it. Why is that important for business?  In the world of architecture, or at least the world of Jodi’s experience of architecture, Means & Methods is the term used to talk about the outcome of a project without outlining the methods for achieving that outcome. Like a game of Taboo, you can describe the window without specifying the window. In this way, the destination is the architect’s domain, but the journey is for someone else. There is a clear litmus test for the desired outcome and a project schedule, but the means and methods aren’t delineated.  When leaders are frustrated that their team aren’t innovative or don’t have a sense of ownership over outcomes, it is usually because they are not following a Means & Methods approach. They think they are setting expectations, but often they are really telling pe

You’ve probably spent a lot of time and money figuring out how to talk to new clients. But how much do you know about your existing clients? Do they know you value them? Why is that important for business?  Your existing clients are most likely incredibly important to you, but it’s important to think about exactly how you are reinforcing their value and reaffirming their decision to work with you. Or at the very least, think about the ways you might be devaluing them, in the pursuit of new clients. Like, for instance, don’t make it a chore for existing clients to login to a service they are already paying for.  It is also important to consider what do your particular clients actually value. Don’t just create activity – no one has space for extraneous events right now – but consider what your people actually value and need right now. This might be a conversation with your clients about what they value, but sometimes it is just enough for people to feel like you have thought of them.  Business owners often get

What was once thought of as a temporary situation that we just had to get through is starting to feel a lot more permanent. Let’s talk about how that realization changes the approach.  Why is that important for business?  At one point, COVID-19 and its effects on business felt temporary – something we had to get through before things returned to “normal”. Working at the dining room table was an inconvenience, not a business plan. So how now do we navigate this temporary situation that is less temporary than we thought? How can we restructure the changes we made in haste, and make them more permanent? At this point, we need to be willing to invest in what had been a temporary model to get through. Many businesspeople have to invest in the business model and processes that make remote non-temporary. There may be certain things that need to go back as soon as we can safely do so, but this doesn’t preclude investing in the thing you can do remotely. At what point do we change from investing to get through a tempo

As businesses and services slowly start to re-open, the need for communication and transparency is needed more than ever.  Why is that important for business?  Right now, there are so many things everyone is unsure of – lots of moving parts and uncertainty – which requires a great deal of empathy. But the uncertainty requires communication. There is a misperception that if you don’t have a definitive statement to make, you should wait until you have more information to communicate with people. However, communication is still necessary, so people know they haven’t been forgotten. In any time of uncertainty, there is both a heightened need for communication and decision-making. Silence is not the answer.  Could you be using this time of unknown to be building trust? Like hairdressers and dog groomers who send out tips for getting by until you can see them again, this time can be used to cement relationships. The vital part of communication isn’t necessarily certainty, but the ability to demonstrate empathy, thr

Little by little, we are starting to re-experience things we did before Covid-19 and finding them completely different. Whether it’s in-person facilitation or a lunch out at a restaurant, things have…changed. And it’s starting to be even more clear - we don’t know yet what’s going to be different when we “go back”. Why is that important for business?  Our first experiences doing things we used to, pre-Covid, are an interesting opportunity to preview some of the things we are going to have to start thinking about. Are people really comfortable returning, or are they feeling pressure? Can I write large enough to be seen in a room with social distancing? How do you hand out a handout, when no one wants to touch anything that’s touched you?   Adjusting for these new needs can be paralyzing.  It’s also interesting to note how much non-verbal communication happens with the mouth until it’s covered by a mask. Snark, for instance, doesn’t make it to the eyes. Eye contact in general suddenly becomes more important – l

What is your line between diversity of thought, and completely unacceptable, in your business? And how do you tell you are being fair when you make that judgement? Super simple topic with super simple answers that we tackle all in one short podcast episode! Why is that important for business?  It can be uncomfortable to address it when an employee does or says something controversial or completely unacceptable. But you also have to ask yourself – how comfortable will you be if you get called out on not doing anything? Like we talked about in episode 123 https://soheresmystory.com/ep123-sugar-spice-radiating-values/, if you choose to radiate your values with your business, you have to accept that there will be consequences to standing behind those values. And you have to be prepared to deal with it when something falls outside of those stated values.  It’s usually an easier choice the more extremely out of alignment with your value something is, but most of what you will be forced to deal with won’t be so cle

How do you talk to people in a professional realm about racism? This isn’t the kind of thing we are going to have solid answers on – in fact, that’s part of the problem. But we are willing to have the conversation, and we hope you join us.  Why is that important for business?  These conversations are hard, complicated and messy, but they also can’t be ignored. We need to have these conversations, and we need to listen, because until people feel heard, you can’t have a discussion. Admitting that you don’t know how to talk about it, but you feel it is important to discuss can be a great starting point. Like with grief, there are no magical words that will say that will make this better, so don’t let “what if I don’t say the perfect thing” hold you back – there is no perfect thing to say. A lot of it is just showing up. Just acknowledging.  Is it better to say the wrong thing than nothing at all? The point is – don’t make it about you, or your perspective, and acknowledge that you don’t know. As we talked about

So much about how we interact and who we interact with is being changed by our experience of COVID-19. Where before we might have not been putting much care into these decisions, now, we are getting a glimpse at our priorities.  Why is that important for business?  We all have different reasons for our priorities and decisions: convenience, being part of a community, cleanliness – these might all be factors in the new way we determine where we are going to spend time and resources. There seems to be an overall increase in the value of understanding the community and being a part of it.  There is also a developing set of needs that comes with changes, like working from home, that influence our decisions. Everything has gotten distilled down to what you really need – there is less impulse-buying and more intentionality in our purchasing decisions. Our metrics have changed. We have been stripped of convenience and it has forced us to be more intentional and more thoughtful. Convenience may not have been a consci

COVID conversations are about to get super awkward and much more prevalent. So if tricky conversations aren’t your thing... it’s time to learn. (Last week’s replay episode also has some good pointers.)  Why is that important for business? There are so many opportunities to have awkward conversations right now because we are making decisions not just for ourselves, but for others as well. We are dealing with several different versions of The Trolley Problem (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trolley_problem) every day in business. Company policy has to start with first person plural – the we. We can’t make decisions for everyone without considering the individual, but we can’t make decisions based on each individual either. If we did, it is inevitable that pressure would develop, either from higher up or peers or the bonus structure or something else. Which means we are being called to higher levels of leadership and good boundary setting and communicating well. To do that, we need to look for the right questions

This week, Jodi and Eliot talk about how emotions in business relate to dental hygiene and peanut M&M's. Trust us – it makes sense. Why is that important for business? Often people are apologetic about the emotional component of their response in business. Somewhere along the way, somebody made up this rule that business never has anything to do with ever feeling a personal emotions. And because of that made up, unspoken rule, no one has ever made it okay to do the emotional version of brushing your teeth in business, and then the plaque  builds up and it’s problematic. Then the emotional build up gets in the way of what really needs to be dealt with. Whoever said “it’s not personal, it’s just business” is an idiot. The word “hygiene” is important here, because it alludes to a regular practice of cleaning and getting rid of what doesn’t need to be there anymore. We don’t apologize for needing to clean your teeth, and we need to get as comfortable with emotional hygiene. Not clearing the plaque results i

What happens to holidays when you don’t leave your house?  Let’s talk about how much harder it is to tell people you are taking a day off when everyone knows you will just be in your living room anyway.  Why is that important for business?  Just because we are in isolation doesn’t mean we don’t need days off – we need the contrast and the rest. But our uneasiness with telling people we are taking a day when they know we can’t go anywhere is surfacing a lot of social constructs that may or may not be useful. And it seems many of us believe we have to be unavailable for reasons beyond our control in order to say we’re not going to answer emails today. We have nothing to hide behind now when we want to take a day.  We have a perceived sense of agency over our time, but we construct weird, completely fabricated rules around it. And it’s not our right to tell anyone else what should matter to them.  We need punctuation marks between things; we need contrast. Our brains are made for sprints, not marathons and you a

There is lots of talk about re-opening businesses and returning to work right now, and it is undoubtedly on your mind. Unfortunately, there isn’t a simple answer to how or when is right for your business. But there are some important questions.  Why is that important for business?  What is re-opening going to look like for your business?  Every industry is going to be different, every company will be different, every department will be different, and every person will be different. There is no one solution.  But it isn’t enough to make the assumption that a tiny bit of being back is a move in the right direction. We have to give serious thought to what is and isn’t working about the virtual world and be clear on what problem we are solving. We need to be honest about why we are making decisions we are making.  You also must consider the individual agency of everyone involved. What is the level of each person’s authority to say no? We are all going to get a crash course in boundaries, including literal ones. 

Technology allows us to do so much from the comfort of our homes. But just because we can doesn’t mean we should. Once everything is jammed into the same tech, it loses its texture and everything – personal and business – just becomes one blur.   Why is that important for business?  When we have the option of bringing everyone into a meeting now – because it can be done by the click of a button – we can make the mistake of prioritizing means instead of best outcome. There is no wrong or right, but we need to consider things like: Does this need to be a video chat, or just a call? Is there any requirement for a shared visual? Do I need to see everyone’s faces? Now that so many things could be done in a Zoom meeting, everything requires sitting in chair staring at computer. Experiences begin to lose their texture. When everything feels the same, everything feels like everything else you have done that day. We are missing out on the sensory experience of life and are constricted to what is front of you on screen

For a lot of people, the morning commute to work has been reduced to about 10 feet. Theoretically, that is extra time we now have to do other things. But maybe that commute was exactly the break you needed in the day. So what now? Why is that important for business?  Commutes can be a wonderful transition time to change between a work mindset and a home mindset. It’s time to think without an agenda, to decompress. It’s the lemon sorbet, helping you cleanse your palate between courses. Although a commute is inconvenient from an efficiency standpoint, it can be incredibly valuable for your mental state. Otherwise your day lacks white space and becomes one big run-on sentence that passes in a blur. Instead of consciously using that time in a similar way, we just pack it with other activities that don’t provide the same benefit. It isn’t about having time; it’s about consciously using the time. Though not technically challenging, we can find ourselves not doing it.  “I wish for you that you live on a cul de sac b