Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History Of Disney Channel Original Movies

While Zach continues to binge DCOMs like some sort of crazy person, he also is catching as many new theatrical releases as he possibly can. With 2016 now solidly in the can, New York Observer writer Nick Ross (@NickBossRoss) joins him to talk about the year's best films and performances, but not before deciding which classic DCOM he will cover in a future episode! Buy his poster for THE VVITCH on a throw pillow! https://society6.com/nickbossross

A while back, writer BJ Colangelo wrote an awesome, in-depth evaluation of how Disney Channel Original Movies explore the horror genre in a piece for Blumhouse. So of course, we bring her on to talk about PIXEL PERFECT, a movie that is not in any way, shape or form a horror movie, but it might as well be!

Film critic and journalist Kristen Lopez joins us to talk about SUSIE Q, a movie I really don't like but you all got really bent out of shape when I took down our episode about it. In response, I bring you our longest, most in-depth episode yet! Sam Esmail clearly stole everything from this movie that he didn't get from Fight Club when he made Mr. Robot.

Comedian Kristin Clifford joins a flu-ridden Daddy to talk about Go Figure, a movie with infinitely too many mentions of Vladimir Putin and moderate conservatism.

Generation Animation's Tyler Moliterno comes back to talk BUFFALO DREAMS, one of the weirdest quilt of DCOM staple tropes we've discussed so far. That's not to say it's bad, because we actually had a good time with it. Surprising, right?!?!?!? Zach, having a good time in what is now officially Trump's America? What is this nonsense?

Kevin Fenderson didn't even bother to watch the movie, but he and I finally mustered the courage to mourn the loss of Debbie Reynolds, who is dynamite in HALLOWEENTOWN HIGH. This movie is naughty, but not as naughty as what Donald Trump did to Barack and Michelle Obama's bed!

Stuneybear returns to talk Kim Possible Movie: So the Drama, which is so short and light on plot that we basically just talk about movies in the chase for Oscar,  how the Amy Adams scenes in Nocturnal Animals are crazy town banana pants and the things we want to leave behind in 2016.

While Zetus Lapodcast is vehemently anti-marriage, we welcome our married friends in town from South Carolina, Ken and Melody Wenzel, to talk Tiger Cruise, Disney Channel's attempt at making a movie about the September 11th terrorist attacks that can only be described as "wacky," and recap how 2016 is bad, bad and not good. This movie has terrible, unnecessary green screen shots and Bill Pullman!

Comedian/cronut enthusiast Jason Pickar joins us this week to give us an education on Judaism, hip-hop and being interviewed by the world's worst journalist Rory Gilmore in GILMORE GIRLS: A YEAR IN THE LIFE, while we talk about FULL COURT MIRACLE, a bizarre but ultimately satisfying entry into DCOM sports canon.

Comedian Trejon Dunkley (@avioletchild) joins us to talk The Even Stevens Movie, gay experiences while listening to Jagged Little Pill and why every "teenager" in this movie is a hunky twentysomething with the sole thematic purpose of kickstarting as many millennial puberties as possible.

Drew Mixon returns to the program to talk about Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off, the Donald Trump of Disney Channel Original Movies.

Rachel Leishman joins us to talk about our impending doom, sitting on the same toilet as comedy royalty and the sheer insanity of THE LIZZIE MCGUIRE MOVIE.

Just in time for Halloween (plus one week) is our Halloweentown 2: Kalabar's Revenge episode, now with 85% less mentions of fornicating with my uncle!

Kevin Fenderson comes back to the show to talk on our first episode about a movie that is unmistakably not a Disney Channel Original. Hocus Pocus was a 1993 theatrical release that people kept asking us to do, so we did it, just in time for a spoopy Halloween night! I do mention near the end of this episode that we would also be putting up a Halloweentown 2 episode. Sadly, in a strange twist that has never happened before, I was able to record my guest's audio but not my own. Any time we've had technical difficulties the opposite has happened. I don't know what caused this other than some light witchcraft, but we hope to re-record and put that out soon.

Courtney Soliday (The Huffington Post, BUILDseries) lets us borrow some spit which we promise to pay back and talks about CADET KELLY, the Hilary Duff / Christy Carlson Romano sassfest where a human gel pen is forced into attending military school for no real good reason. We don't go off topic this week! Like, at all!

Gabe Bergado (Inverse, The Daily Dot) stops by to talk about QUINTS, a movie I hate so much that the act of having to watch it twice and then talk about it made me tell my mother that I wanted to slit my wrists and look her in the eye as I did it. Somebody tell me everything is going to be okay.

Comedian Andy Ward goes kaching kaching bling bling bling all over this episode about THE CHEETAH GIRLS, a movie where we are expected to accept Raven Symone as a pop diva and the entire third act of this movie is a shot for shot replica of 127 HOURS with a dog. Kill me.

My bestest friend in the whole wide world...okay, that's not true, but she's definitely in the top five of people I only know through Twitter...but I digress, anywa, Sara DeNatalie joins us this week to talk about RIGHT ON TRACK. If you can't handle me at my Beverley Mitchell, you don't deserve me at my Brie Larson.

Guess who's back? Back again. Justine Smith's back. Tell a friend. Did you know they made a sequel to HORSE SENSE? Because they did. Why it involves all three Lawrence brothers getting shipwrecked and running from pirates who want to kidnap them and hold them for ransom, I have no idea. We don't really get down to the bottom of that answer either.

Comedian Chad Reid returns to discuss GOING TO THE MAT, a movie where Andy Lawrence plays a hunky blind wrestler who is also really good at playing the drums and being a huge jerk to everyone he meets. Wayne Brady is in it too, also playing a blind man!