Kintsugi Life

In this episode I explore how having my diary cleared of commitments and plans by Coronavirus has been refreshing in prompting me to reflect on how I'll approach commitments and opportunities in future. I'd become used to rushing from one thing to the next, not always savouring or valuing what I was in the midst of. No longer will that be my approach! This episode describes why. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2zPLsyy If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I explore the idea that our definition of Success can be constraining when it merely means more than we have already. Perhaps we need instead to consider it is successful when we have all that we need? With Covid-19 stripping people of their income and health it focuses the mind on being able to be grateful and satisfied with what we have.  In the episode I refer to the book 'Stillness is the Key' by Ryan Holiday. I'd highly recommend you reading it if you are interested in the ideas in this podcast. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3dWNbkr If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I discuss my thoughts on the concept of the Truth. We are all searching for the truth, we'd like to believe we know the truth and we seek the truth constantly. But, do we really believe it when it doesn't suit us to? Why do we concoct truths that suit us and selectively believe other things even if they're irrefutable? You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3dnINuj If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

What are you waiting for? When we hang on for something in life to change, or for life itself to fundamentally improve, we are in fact overlooking that what we have right now is what is normal. It may not be what we used to have and had grown accustomed to. It may not be what we'd like it to be. It is what it is though. As we go through the Covid-19 Pandemic, there's a lot to be said for accepting that maybe things aren't likely to return to being as they used to be. At the very least, we shouldn't' spend our lives waiting for it to go back to how it was. You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/2Wu50Af If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

It seems right now that many are fixated on who to blame for the Coronavirus crisis. Whether seeking to blame individuals, governments or nations, it seems obvious that there's a time when it's appropriate to look for root cause, to establish what went wrong and a time for focusing instead on solving the problem at hand. In this episode I explore the idea of when it's the right time to look for fault and cause, and when we'd be better off getting on and trying to solve the problem at hand.  You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/356rr2q If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I explore how the lessons learned from living through the Covid-19 lockdown have made me think about what I can do to prepare better for the future, financially, materially, spiritually and emotionally. All of life's experiences bring forth lessons and it's important to take these onboard to live better in future. You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/2RWEvBW If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I want to share how I approach times of adversity such as the one we find ourselves in the midst of, right now. It's a means of reducing overwhelm and allowing ourselves to focus on what's right in front of us.  You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/39OpyYG If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I explore some of the positive effects that I've already observed as the current Coronavirus pandemic unfolds and which I've experienced in my own life. You can also read the article at https://bit.ly/2RiP9CW I hope that you and your loved ones are keeping well and that you remain safe and healthy. If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I examine the difficulties I sometimes experience as I deal with feelings of enthusiasm, quickly followed by despondency and a loss of motivation. I share how re-reading the book 'The Obstacle Is The Way' by Ryan Holiday helped me understand how Stoic philosophy encourages us to respond to obstacles that we encounter in life.  You can also read the article at https://bit.ly/2QX355b If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode is based on an article I wrote to share the importance of doing the small stuff in life well, and without question.  Often we convince ourselves that the small actions don't make a difference, and we obsess over how to make the big things happen in life: love, happiness and fulfilment. Instead, we need to give the small things equal attention and focus. You can also read the article at http://bit.ly/3cY8mTF If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode is based on an article I wrote to examine why I feel so much guilt as a parent on a near daily basis. Guilt comes from multiple sources and lots of different places in life and it's really not a helpful feeling. In this episode I've tried to examine where my guilt comes from as a parent, and the things that prompt it in my life as a parent and in life more generally. You can also read the article at http://bit.ly/2VNIF1J If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode is a bit of a break from the norm. I wanted to share an article that I read recently and which I found extremely profound, moving and thought provoking. It's written by a guy called Erik Rittenberry and is called 'The Comfortable Life is Killing You'. What I particularly enjoyed about it is that it seems to capture perfectly the general ills and malaise that seems to be afflicting so many of us in daily life, but also presents some remediating things we can do to tackle the situation. Not all the changes Erik recommends will be easy to take on, but we need to seriously consider them nonetheless.  I hope you find the piece as interesting and moving as I did, and if so I hope you'll head over to medium, offer a few claps for the piece and maybe check out some more of Erik's work. You can also read the article at http://bit.ly/2vnugyB If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I want to share some of the experiences I've had as a divorced parent in setting up a structure for raising my kids after divorce. The Critical Success Factor for me and my ex-wife in raising our kids successfully since divorcing 13 years ago has been to strive for equality in our relationship as parents. In this episode I share how this works and why we opted for it. You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/37kmYbS If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode discusses the relative merits of goals, and considers whether everything we do in life should be driven by a goal or undertaken with a goal in mind.  I discuss how I've experienced a feeling where goals become arduous and sometimes prevent me from experiencing the joy and fulfilment of simply doing things for the joy of doing them.  You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2vzmG3u If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode touches upon another aspect of Stoic philosophy - the concept of Memento Mori. This centers upon remembering that we will all die sooner or later, and guides that we should live in a way that reflects this. In the episode I share a few ways in which I try and live, being mindful of the prospect of death but without letting it make me live carelessly or without due care.  You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2OzF3Mm If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode looks at how Stoic Philosophers and people like Bruce Lee have identified that it's pointless hoping for an easier life - instead we should be trying to prepare ourselves so that we can cope with life and get the best out of it. It doesn't make life easy, but it helps us to get the best from life by being best-equipped to tackle it head on. You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2O4efnt If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

We often labour under the misapprehension that the complexities and challenges of an adult's life demands complex and more comprehensive rule. Instead, I believe we'd do well to treat ourselves as kids a bit more frequently to guide ourselves in getting the right things done. This episode describes how I reached this conclusion and how it can be practiced in life. . You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2t3UJQy If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

It's hard when you feel as though you're not as good as you'd like to be in any aspect or role of your life. Feelings of inadequacy and of being lost in life can be overcome though This episode describes how I believe we can make small changes in life to become a little more competent and to overcome feelings of inadequacy, in many roles that we hold in life.  You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2t9Ndnq If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

I'm certain that many people think that there are gurus or experts who have life all figured out. I suspect most kids secretly believe that this is the case for their parents. I'm more convinced than ever that nobody really has it all figured out though.  This episode describes how I reached this conclusion following some discussions with my grown-up daughter and how I have tried to convey to her that this is a simple fact of life. There is no secret, nobody has it all figured out. You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/389xFie If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

It's good to be aware of how you like to spend your time, as a means of examining your strengths and weaknesses. I've long been someone who is comfortable alone, but lately I think I've been neglecting the importance of spending time with other people and around others to benefit from feeling part of a collective and community.  This episode is about me sharing how solitude seems to have turned to loneliness in my life and what I think I need to do about it to address the situation.  You can also read an article I wrote on the same subject at http://bit.ly/2FR3nEW If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com