Parents Lead

Blind How … The Basics is an audio book for people who can't see and for those who are interested in how people who can't see do what they do. If you have been unable to see for a while, the book is likely not for you, although you may find Part I of interest.   Part i discusses some of the pitfalls and frustrations people who can't see experience when dealing with many of those who can see and who reflexively put people who can't see into their "Blind Box." I include a few tips for avoiding ending up in someone's Blind Box, along with some strategies that help us who can't see be taken more seriously in social and business situations.   Part ii includes basic, starter tips for people who are losing or have recently lost their ability to see. The theme is developing the special skill set we need when we can't see, starting with simply getting up and walking around. Those who have been unable to see for some time may find it fun to remember when even they couldn't smoothly take a glass from someone who was

What do you think the outcome will be if every child who thinks that playing baseball is fun, is told that his or her goal should be becoming a professional baseball player; or perhaps, any child who is interested in science is told that he or she will only be a success when awarded the Nobel Prize? "But no one would ever do that," you protest. Unfortunately, it happens; and any of us may be one of the guilty parties. Putting the issue into the "can't see" context, all of us who can't see have been challenged in exactly this way. If you check out the previous episodes of Blind How, you will find a few examples of me doing it to you. How? I suggest a skill you might want to add to your personal skill set, and then I do it to you. I tell you that there are people who can't see who have mastered that particular skill. Either implicitly or sometimes explicitly, I suggest that you can and probably should develop the skill, getting as good at it as those who have mastered it. Why would I do such a silly and maybe

I think most everyone has a notion about Braille and what it is. It's raised bumps or dots in specific patterns that people who can't see use to read. If you are a proficient Braille user, you have a skill set that most people who can't see don't have. Does that surprise you? You're not alone. The belief is common enough that I am often offered a Braille menu when I go to a restaurant, and even my bank and the gas company send me a Braille version of my current account monthly. I have never requested this service. They just assume that, since I can't see, I know Braille well enough to read Braille documents. That is definitely not true for me. I can use Braille well enough to do quite a lot though, and you can likely learn enough Braille to make some things in your day-to-day world easier and more convenient. If you are motivated to learn to be a proficient Braille user, please go for it. Your new skill set will serve you well. If you are responsible for a school-age youngster who can't see or who is likely

There is a point about Blind How that some visitors may find confusing. Question: "Who is Blind How for?" If you can't see and already have an extensive skill set for doing whatever you want to do, Blind How may be somewhat interesting, but isn't for you. At the same time, I hope you will take the time to share what you've already figured out with those who haven't. Send your tip or strategy to Tips@BlindHow.net. Please give others the benefit of your learning and experience. Let me share an anecdote that speaks to who Blind How is for. I was listening to a podcast called iBUG Buzz. It's produced by the folks at http://www.iBugToday.org. iBUG is a Blind Users Group for people who use or want to use iPhones, iPads, Apple Watches, Apple TVs and everything related. The website and the iBUG program has been around for more than ten years, but I just found out about it this week. I'm going to spend more time exploring its resources and options, and definitely recommend that you spend some time with it too. Back

Let me start this episode of Blind How with a heads-up. I will be talking some about walking outside and in unfamiliar inside places. The tips I include will be minor and only intended to suggest a few things to keep in mind. Walking from place to place outside and in new places without a helper who can see, requires a skill set that all of us who can't see need, but should only develop with the assistance of a qualified mobility professional. Additionally, I don't know any way to develop those skills without learning how to use a white cane or guide dog. Where you live and spend most of your time likely is doable, whether you live in an apartment or on a farm. The key is that you have a good mental map of the area and are aware of any risky areas or hazards. Also, when you become disoriented – and you will – there is minimal risk of getting hurt. I mentioned in an earlier episode of Blind How that I don't know how to use a white cane. I'm a guide dog user. My current guide dog is my seventh, so I have bee

There is a small fact of life that is frequently overlooked. Here it is. Just because doing something isn't complicated, doesn't mean that doing it is easy or simple. This important point definitely applies to doing without seeing. The tips and strategies for doing without seeing that I have discussed so far on Blind How have not been particularly complicated. Nonetheless, adding each tip or strategy to our personal skill set is far from easy or simple. They require a degree of attention, concentration and practice that can seem to be unreasonable and hardly worth the effort. On any given occasion, they are hardly worth the bother – and they are a lot of bother at times. Here is the issue. Those of us who can't see have limited options. Either we go to the bother of incorporating the tips and strategies into our skill set, or we are permanently disabled, unable to do what we want to do, when we want to do it. The things we want to do are either off the table or left to the discretion and good will of people

Okay, it's time to get up and moving. But not so quick. I do have a couple of thoughts to share first. If you've not been able to see for a long time, this is probably nothing new or particularly interesting for you. I'm sure tempted to skip on past the basics to the good stuff, including phone apps and cool gadgets. I might even suggest a few podcasts specifically for those of us who can't see. But all in good time. First, I need to share a few tips with those of you who recently joined the can't see club, and also with those of you who just want to understand how those of us who can't se do what we do. First, a white cane or handy stick of some sort would likely be helpful as you get up and about. I did tell you that I don't know everything about not seeing, or how other people are able to do what they do without seeing, didn't I? Well, this is one of those times. I have never used a white cane and don't actually know how to use one. People who are proficient with a white cane have a skill set that I simp

So far, everything I have discussed, and the tips to go along, can be done sitting down. If getting up and walking around are not in your wheelhouse, there are many more things you can do, but for now, I want to shift to walking around. I'll get back in future episodes of Blind How to the wide range of stuff you can do without needing to walk. Let me just skip right over how easy walking around is if you can see. I can't see and walking around is for me, a daily challenge. Let's also get past the notion that, even though you can't see, it's possible for you to learn to walk around, never tripping, bumping into things, knocking things over and not even occasionally banging your head or other sensitive area into a wall or stray chair. Maybe someone who can't see, somewhere, but not me and most likely, not you either. Bumps, bruises and similar annoyances are inevitable, if walking around is in your daily routine. I have a robot vacuum cleaner that has learned to vacuum the floors in my house, without any addi

If you, like me, can't see, set it and forget it has a whole other significance. I know, you don't lose track of your stuff. You resent my suggesting that, just because you can't see, you might not remember where you set something down or where you put it. I apologize, so let me start this over. I sometimes set things down or put them somewhere and can't remember where. Even worse, I look for whatever it was and end up knocking it over, spilling it or maybe just bumping it, with the result that it goes flying and I have an even harder time finding it. If I could see, I would just look around and would usually find whatever was temporarily lost. I can't. I don't. Okay, you've got the idea. I occasionally set it and forget it. If that ever happens to you, here are a couple of tips. First, work on putting things away, where they belong. Yes, I'm actually serious. Even if you plan to use it again fairly soon, take the extra minute to put it away, back where it's easy to find. It's nearly as easy to get into t

For those of us who can't see, there are quite a few potentially awkward situations that come up now and then. We usually make it through them with a minimum of embarrassment, although it would be better to figure out how to avoid them in the first place. As trivial as it may seem to people who can see, simply handing something to someone else or having him or her hand something to us is often one of those awkward situations. If both people in the exchange can see, passing something to someone else seldom results in an issue. But before pursuing this, I do want to point out that, even people who can see occasionally fumble the exchange. Drinks get spilled and things are dropped. Please keep this in mind the next time there is an accident. It may have very well been the person who can see who fumbled. To keep accidents at a minimum though, I have a few suggestions for handing things to people who can see, and for taking things being handed to us. The first tip is probably obvious but is also frequently skip

Do you like to play lost and found? Most people don't like it much, especially if it's their stuff that is lost. Even so, the found part of lost and found works okay for most everyone. And therein lies the problem. For those of us who can't see, losing our stuff is frequently followed by not finding our stuff. Instead of lost and found, we are left with lost and still searching, or too often, lost and quit looking. Nothing to do but get along without our stuff, or wait until someone who can see happens by to find it for us. So what's the deal? Why can't we find our stuff? Like everyone else, those of us who can't see don't put things away when we are finished using them, lay thing down but forget where, toss things on a table or chair without thinking about it, or move things to a new location but don't remember where that is. Of course, the issue when we can't see is that looking around for stuff is not an option. That brings us back to BATS, discussed in an earlier episode of Blind How. "What do BATS hav

Let me say up-front that I realize that you may not be able to see, but despite that, you never bump things, knock things over nor spill stuff. Well, good for you. Your skill set is definitely advanced relative to mine. I mentioned earlier that many people who can't see have skills far better than mine and skills I just don't have. I sometimes bump things, knock things over and occasionally spill stuff. Here is the first and most important point. So does everyone else, whether they can see or not. And whether you can see or not, the reason is most always the same … carelessness. That's unfair? You can't see, so everyone should cut you a little slack? You're right, and most people will cut you some slack, although it's still annoying and inconvenient for them, especially if they have to clean up your mess. Better to ramp up your skill set some and get better at not bumping, knocking and spilling. Here's a technique that will help. It won't prevent all of those little accidents, but will reduce their frequ

Do you remember those school books? Sure, I'm talking about those books you spent so much time staring at, and at least occasionally, seriously reading. In many of them, there was a summary at the end of each chapter. I know you never did this, but I would sometimes see if I could get away with reading the summary and skipping reading the chapter itself. Okay, that's enough for confessions. We are at the point in our Blind How journey to call this the end of the Introduction, if Blind How were a book. That means it's time to insert a chapter summary. The summary in a nutshell is this: If I can't see and success for me is to be, it's up to me. Let me share a tiny anecdote that captures the essence of helping children who can't see, understanding how to succeed when we can't see, and most everything you will ever need to know about how to do when you can't see. I was six-years-old and in the first grade. My mother had come to pick me up after school and was talking to my teacher, Miss Icenogle. I was playin

You may have noticed that, so far, I haven't suggested anything that only applies to those of us who can't see. The tips all work quite well for people who can see, although for them, the tips may not be quite so essential. Well, I'm about to do it again. One of those tips that is essential for those of us who can't see, but work almost as well for everyone else, is headed your way. The harsh reality is this. If you can't see, many, but definitely not all, people who can see make judgments about you based on little more than their personal generalizations about blindness and blind people. Unfortunately, those generalizations tend to be negative. Not negative in the sense of your being a bad person or somehow unacceptable, but rather negative in terms of being limited, less competent, more needy and ignorable. A major contributor to these negative generalizations is that most people who can see have never known a successful, competent blind person. If they do know someone who can't see, the likelihood is th

This episode is fairly close to silly talk. That's what happens when my muse skips out and seems not to be coming back. Maybe it was in the stars, but maybe not. Either way, I am left with going with the flow, or maybe not. The risk, as you will learn, is ending up screwed.

Let me say up-front that I realize that you may not be able to see, but despite that, you never bump things, knock things over nor spill stuff. Well, good for you. Your skill set is definitely advanced relative to mine. I mentioned earlier that many people who can’t see have skills far better than mine and skills I just don’t have. I sometimes bump things, knock things over and occasionally spill stuff. Here is the first and most important point. So does everyone else, whether they can see or not. And whether you can see or not, the reason is most always the same … carelessness. That’s unfair? You can’t see, so everyone should cut you a little slack? You’re right, and most people will cut you some slack, although it’s still annoying and inconvenient for them, especially if they have to clean up your mess. Better to ramp up your skill set some and get better at not bumping, knocking and spilling. Here’s a technique that will help. It won’t prevent all of those little accidents, but will reduce their frequency

Being a better lover is way too complex for just one key, but one key is a place to start. Press play and try this one. It may just unlock one of the doors.

I was listening to a podcast yesterday when a listener's email told a sad story. The listener identified himself as blind and was bemoaning his situation. Mostly, he was complaining about all the things he can't do and how inconvenient it is to need someone around to care for him and his needs. That got me to thinking about how easy it is for those of us who can't see to confuse can't with don't know how. The specific issue in the listener's email that caused me to ponder the confusion came when he said that he had to get someone who can see to hang a picture for him. His point was that his blindness prevents him from using a drill and makes it impossible for him to get the picture level and at the right height. That's just silly talk. I can't see and know how to use a drill. I can't see and know how to make sure a picture is level. I can't see and know how to hang a picture at a good height for most people when they are looking at it. Being blind is not the reason why the listener can't hang a picture on h

I was listening to a podcast yesterday when a listener’s email told a sad story. The listener identified himself as blind and was bemoaning his situation. Mostly, he was complaining about all the things he can’t do and how inconvenient it is to need someone around to care for him and his needs. That got me to thinking about how easy it is for those of us who can’t see to confuse can’t with don’t know how. The specific issue in the listener’s email that caused me to ponder the confusion came when he said that he had to get someone who can see to hang a picture for him. His point was that his blindness prevents him from using a drill and makes it impossible for him to get the picture level and at the right height. That’s just silly talk. I can’t see and know how to use a drill. I can’t see and know how to make sure a picture is level. I can’t see and know how to hang a picture at a good height for most people when they are looking at it. Being blind is not the reason why the listener can’t hang a picture on his

How often do you think, "I got trouble?" It happens for all of us, for some of us more often than for others of us. Even so, the hard truth is that there is seldom much we can do about the trouble we have right now. That fact not withstanding, our typical response to our trouble is to focus on the trouble we have right now. But what if we are focusing on the wrong thing? Please listen and see if there may not be a better focus for your attention and energy.