Jack's Silly Little Friendly Neighborhood Star Trek Discovery Podcast

For Christmas 2024, Carlos first makes the long voyage to California, Jack's ancestral homeland, and settles in for a evening of outdoor cabana Christmas Eve cheer alongside Jack, Jack's father and Jay-Z.  Merry Christmas!

While the Prodigy kids finally meet the REAL Janeway and her cronies, guest Kregg Castillo finally meets the XINDI!  It’s outrageous!  Also, Okona is in this episode for some reason, and that we means we get to reminisce on all the ways that TNG Season 2 was such remarkable television.  Kregg doesn&t remember Okona, and Jack also has some startling revelations about Prodigy that he already should have known.  Oh, and ANDOR TALK!  It’s all here, and it’s all outrageous!   

Guess who’s back?  Well, in addition to the spirits of the original Enterprise crew (the NC-1701’s, not the NX) (no, not Pike or April’s, Kirk’s crew) (Yes, the ones from the original SHOW) crew, living on through the will of these weird aliens, it’s Kev, to talk about an initially pretty wild episode of Prodigy with one of the strangest premises we’ve ever seen. Kev and Jack really dive into the nuts and bolts of how and more importantly, IF this episode can even make sense, and bring to life the guy from one episode of TOS who started it all. You’ll find it even more fun than constantly annoying everyone around you with a third-rate Shatner impression.

Jaxilly has assimilated a new guest, adding Beau Mathew’s knowledge of video games and Japanese language tests to its own.  Listeners, I’m telling you, resistance is futile! The day Jack had dreaded and hoped, as recently as the previous episode, would never arrive, is here (in late 2022, I mean). It’s Prodigy’s BABY’S FIRST BORG episode. Does it stand a chance, or is it as worthless to us as a Kazon is to the Borg? The only way to find out is to listen to these two interlocutors drone on to each other.  JOIN THE JAXILLY HIVE MIND.

Prodigy is back (this was WAY before it was canceled), and so is the PD Crew! That·s right, the Prodigy Debut Crew (aka Super Rios Bros) is back, and they couldn·t be happier than to be talking about Barniss. Fucking. FREX and some of the other less important characters. But first, Jack is going to spend an absurdly long time guessing who·s in a Marvel movie that everyone has already seen, and the fellas are gonna touch on what makes TNG unique, talk Babylon 5, reminisce on why cops are scary, and quote Eminem a lot.  And hope that Prodigy never, ever, ever, does a Borg episode.

Jaxilly’s coverage of the Lower Decks season 3 finale is finally released, and you’ll never guess the amazing stars Jack has gathered for this loving tribute to the Golden State.  It’s two of SoCal’s most golden, SoCal Scarf boys Sam Stovold and Sean Davis!  In addition to their thoughts on this exciting finale, you’ll hear a characteristic AI rant, explore the murky origins of Continuity Carlos, go on a Qualor deep dive, and celebrate some California Love!  And that isn’t even mentioning a special surprise appearance by two of hip-hop and R&B’s biggest stars, here to bridge the gap between east and west coasts!  It’s been a long road, but you’ll be Crazy in Love for this one, Rick!  It’s ya boys!

  WARNING: If this is your first time listening to this podcast, DO NOT start here, theoretical fan who’s just itching to hear some takes on the 9th episode of Season 3 of Lower Decks in August 2024.  For JAXILLY SUPERFANS ONLY (how’s that for some gatekeeping; rather, trying desperately to keep the gates open).  For fans of podcasts on life support that should have died, but have instead been cobbled together from FOUR different recordings recorded in THREE separate calendar years, have we got the five hour masterstroke for you here!  Never has anyone struggled so hard to bring you so little.  Seriously, if you can get past the random sound levels and temporal mechanics, there may be some fun to be had here.  Thank you to Barm, for making this episode possible, in both the worst and best ways.  JAXILLY IS FOR FREAKS

Dim the lights and put on some popcorn, it’s movie night at Jaxilly!  And the loudmouths in the theater this time are none other than Jack, Geoff, and Sean (with a special unbilled guest star (OK, it’s Sam)) showing up to use Crisis Point 2 to reflect on movie tropes, endless quote the Simpsons, talk about the hottest pop culture (of late 2024), and remember that ANDOR makes this a double feature!  JAXILLY WILL RETURN.

Chirp, chirp, CAW, muthafucka!  Peanut Hamper is BACK (for the first time) in a Very Special Episode of Lower Decks, and this episode of Jaxilly is also very special because the wonderful Michelle Ugalde flies back to the nest and rejoins the flock to sing her songs about it, songs that Jack, Sean, Sam and Barm are all too happy to join in singing.  Songs about birdmen, nipples, Final Fantasy, why ANDOR is the greatest goddamn thing ever and so much more.  Roost here!  CORNISH GAME HENS ARE BIRDS

The boys all head back to Deep Space 9 to reopen the wormhole, and they’re just as excited as the Cerritos crew!  Kregg, being a Ferengi expert / Dabo Boy, tells everyone AAAAAALLLLLL about Quark and his “Dabo Wheel”.  Plus, who can forget faithful Mariner, and her adventures in candle making?  Plus, we talk about the HOTTEST new Star Wars show.  That’s right, ANDOR.  Reopen 2022 with us.

HEEEEEY, Jaxilly is FINALLY putting out episodes AGAAAIIIN.  This one was recorded nearly a year and a half ago, but it is WORTH THE WAIT.  The Super Rios Brothers are at it again, talking about the Spider-Verse, David Lynch and cowboys, Saul Rubinek, the films of Jordan Peele, the raft of delightful Star Trek deep cuts in this episode, and occasionally the main plot about the two Rutherfords that serves as the primary story arc of the season.  Come party like it's 2022!

Carlos fucks up another holiday?

It’s COVIIIIIID TIME!  Jack’s got COVID, and you know what that means.  FUN.  Especially when Barm, Sam Stovold, and SEEEEEEAAAAAN Davis are talking about Room for Growth, just in time for the finale of the next season of the same show!  Listen and enjoy these chucklefucks talking about engineers, Delta Shift, their history with churros, Jellico AGAIN, Simpsons moments that just don’t sit right, and some Strange New Worlds casting talk that will SHOCK you, if you are in fall 2022.  Stay tuned for some Final Fantasy memories.  If you don’t listen to this, you’ll be like grampa left at the gas station….

Barm and Future Jack swoop in to rescue a crippled episode.  And in the process, make it a hundred times better than it ever could have been before.  So listen to them talk over Past Jack, Sam and Sean rating all their past teachers, talk about raising pigs, and maybe even occasionally mention this year old Lower Decks episode.  iIt’s sure to put you in the mood for some chingas!

It’s another ApeCast Lower Dex outing, as Jack and Geoff talk about K’Ranch and other silly condiments, as well as the return of Martok (in bootleg Ferengi form!), the appeals of low-key comedy with heart, and list as many variations on “The Most Dangerous Game” as they can remember.  It’s the best podcast out there not hosted by a sentient volcano, a telepathic baby, and a super-intelligent computer.

The Cerritos crew may be Grounded, but Jaxilly positively SOARS whenever the PD Crew gets back together!  That’s right, friends, you finally have in your ear buds something almost as legendary as Zephram Cochrane’s first warp flight: Jaxilly eps about Lower Decks SEASON THREE, miraculously even before season four has started.  Thrill to the gang waxing nostalgic over First Contact, confusing Phil Lamarr and Phil Morris, relitigating proper grape growing techniques, making Kev write new songs, and so much more. Make 125th Contact… with FUN!

Break out the Cheeza, because it’s time for the annual (?) Discovery album breakdown! This time, Jack and Kev are boogeying down to some smoooooth-ass jazz, making this possibly the chillest Jaxilly episode ever. Fortunately for Larry Carlton, the biggest guitar legend you’ve probably never heard of, he had the foresight to name his 1987 album Discovery, thereby guaranteeing that he would FINALLY get the recognition he deserves, when Jaxilly would expose him to a wider audience in 2023. In between these soothing guitar licks and a SHOCKING guest musician appearance, Kev and Jack figure out how to talk about instrumental music, discuss musical snobbishness, and regale the listeners with a series of fascinating Larry Carlton facts. Get ready for some SERIOUS SMOOTH SILLY SHIT.

Jaxilly, and its intrepid PD Crew (and Sean) engage the Quantum Drive to travel to New Horizons, in this, the first Orville Bonus – Orville Redentalkin’: The Orvillesode (An episode about The Orville).  This episode of the podcast is the guys talkin’ the last four(ville) episodes of The Orvile: Season 3, the ones that went on AFTER Strange New Worlds stopped.  Along the way, they’ll talk Star Wars, Trek, obviously, DOMINO HARVEY, and a surprising amount about Ms. Marvel.  I think it’s safe to say these guys like the Orville.  ORVILLE ORVILLE ORVILLE MY NAME IS DOMINO HARVEY I AM A BOUNTY HUNTER

Happy Birthday, Ben(cker).  The annual Curb episode is finally here, in a way that makes it not actually annual, but it still has Lauren! This time around, they’re talking about a prettay prettay good season four episode, Ben’s Birthday Party (which also means being sad about no Leon).  With the surprising return of Michael the blind pianist, they take the opportunity to delve into the life of Helen Keller, revisit peak Stiller-mania, talk tits and scrotes, the appeal of Lwaxana Troi, that weird trilogy of animated Netflix Godzilla movies and so much more.  When someone tells you no gifts, just bring ‘em THIS podcast.

It’s finally here, performing for you.  It’s Jack, Barm, Sean, Kev Young, and the Enterprise and Farragut Crew! Is this just a cheap attempt at piggybacking off the greatness of a TOS episode?  Or is it an using that episode to show us, through a gripping tale of heroism, destiny, and quirks of fate, what kind of a captain and man Pike is?  Only Chingy can tell.  But we can tell you all the latest details to emerge in the Shinzo Abe assassination, that Romulans are demons, and what Sam’s Thoughts are, as well as one of Barm’s most hardcore plugs, and a lot of other stuff.  You’ll be as blown away as a Federation outpost on the border of the neutral zone!