Single Mother Survival Guide

In this week's episode, I have Vikki Stark joining me. Vikki is an internationally known psychotherapist, speaker, author, divorce recovery expert, and the director of the Sedona Counselling Centre of Montreal. She’s particularly known for her groundbreaking book, Runaway Husbands, which has led her to mentor a worldwide community of women recovering from unexpected divorce. She has written two other books (My Sister, My Self, and The Divorce Talk: How to Tell the Kids) and edited a fourth, Planet Heartbreak, which is a compilation of 62 stories written by women from the Runaway Husbands community. She’s a blogger for Psychology Today and has often been a guest on radio and television, and a speaker at conferences worldwide. She is devoted to helping the women in her community and loves leading retreats, either online, in Montreal, or in Sedona, Arizona. In this episode she talks about:  Her own story of sudden wife abandonment. How this experience pivoted her on a path in life of helping other women going t

This week on the show, I talk about high-conflict personalities in divorce. This is a huge topic. We all know divorce is rarely an easy situation as it is, it is highly emotional and costly. Add a high conflict personality in? And it is much more difficult! In this episode, I discuss: The difference between a "normal" divorce and a high conflict divorce. What it is like dealing with a spouse who has a high-conflict personality. Signs for you to look out for if you suspect you are dealing with a high-conflict personality in your divorce. How I've helped coach and guide my clients that are going through this. The most common high-conflict personality types (borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder). Practical advice to people going through this highly emotional situation. And so much more!  Links mentioned in the episode:  Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE.      Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about

In this episode, I answer a question I received and addressed in my recent Tuesday Struggle Strategy Session in the Single Mother Survival Guide Support Forum. Here, I am sharing my answer because I think it's a great question. It was a question that is quite hard to admit to, a mindset that holds us back and I'm pretty sure we can all relate to it.  The question I addressed was:  Hi Julia, I have been divorced for 5 years now and I'm happy that I'm no longer in the marriage anymore. But despite the emotional, physical, and emotional abuse I endured throughout the marriage, there is one thing that hits me hard all the time. And that is I supported him during our 10-year marriage and two kids to climb that corporate ladder, earning hundreds and thousands of dollars... and now is in a cushy job, a job that takes him to places like Singapore, and still climbing the ladder while I have the kids 90% of the time and for him, one night a week. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have the kids. I feel robbed. He left me

In this episode, I discuss divorce coaching - what it is, why you need a divorce coach if you are considering getting a divorce, and how it can help you.  As a certified divorce coach, I am very passionate about helping single mums overcome challenges, make the best out of a very difficult situation, and thrive.  I share: My own experience with divorce as a child. The positive and negative impacts of divorce in my life as I grew up - emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. How my parent's divorce helped give me more insight and empathy for children and other people going through a divorce. The difference between coaching and therapy. What I love about being a divorce coach. And much more!  Links mentioned in the episode:  Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE.    Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE. To contact Julia, email: julia@singlemothersurvivalguide.com. Visit us at Single Mother

This week, I talk about mindset when it comes to divorce.  I am a certified divorce coach and a certified transition and recovery coach. I am passionate about working with single mums.  In this episode, I share six of the biggest mindset mistakes people usually make when they get divorced. As a coach, this is something I help people recognise so they can handle it better. Failure to recognise these mistakes can result in serious long-term consequences. It is very important to develop the right mindset before, during, and after divorce proceedings.  It's my hope that gaining awareness will save you from losing unnecessary time, money, and effort.  Links mentioned in the episode:  Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE.  Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE. To contact Julia, email: julia@singlemothersurvivalguide.com. Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too. Or connec

This week is not your typical episode. I'm super stoked to share a wonderful life update with you...  I'm engaged!!!  I've been seeing my boyfriend now for 18 months and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him! I'm so happy that my daughter was absolutely thrilled about the news too.  I'm grateful for all the love and support I've received from everyone.  In this episode I talk about:  How our relationship developed over time. The element of fear in entering into a relationship, especially if you have been through DV or some form of abuse.  Not settling for someone that isn't right for you. And so much more! Links mentioned in the episode:  Jump on the waitlist for Thrive Tribe HERE.  Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE. To contact Julia, email: julia@singlemothersurvivalguide.com. Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too. Or connect with Single Mother Survi

This week on the show, I have a very special guest sharing her single mum journey and her experience with self-growth and the things that have helped her heal as a result of becoming a single mother. She is one of my founding Thrive Tribe members and it's made me so very happy to have seen her grow over the last couple of years. She's been a single mum for five years and has three children. In this episode she shares:  How her children were affected by the strained relationship she had with her ex. How her kids have grown over the years following the separation. How she met her ex and how the relationship developed. The domestic violence and control issues she suffered from in the relationship and losing her sense of identity in the process. How she helped her children process and navigate through the separation and what it means for them. How she dealt with the shame of being the only single mum in her family and circle of friends. How building her self-identity and independence strained the relationship wi

In this episode, I share some information about factors that play the biggest role in leading a couple to divorce.  I discuss Dr John Gottman's research into The Four Horseman of The Apocalypse. This refers to the four negative communication patterns that, according to his research, often lead to the end of a relationship if the behaviour isn't changed.  These are: Criticism  Defensiveness Contempt  Stonewalling Dr John Gottman is the co-founder of The Gottman Institute with his wife, Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. He is world-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction. He has conducted 40 years of research with thousands of couples. Dr Gottman was one of the Top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century by the Psychotherapy Networker. He authored and co-authored over 200 published academic articles and more than 40 books.  Links mentioned in the episode:  You can connect with Dr John Gottman through his Website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and LinkedIn.  Click HERE to

This week on the show, I have an anonymous single mum sharing her story. She recounts her harrowing story of domestic abuse and how she got through it, in the hopes of giving other silent victims the courage to seek help.  **Please note this episode and topic may act as a trigger for some people, and this episode is not suitable to listen to within earshot of children.** In this episode, my guest talks about:  How she met her ex and the early signs she noticed the red flags. Dealing with "partner rape," a form of sexual abuse, and the shame and disassociation that comes with it. Losing her baby through miscarriage. Dealing with her ex's mother who was an enabler of his behaviour. Coping with physical abuse. The importance of knowing resources women can get help from. How her ex gaslighted her to try to erode her self-esteem. Dealing with her ex's narcissistic rage towards her. Overcoming her fear and leaving the abusive relationship. Getting the help of a family lawyer for dispute resolution and going on tri

This week on the show, I have Frances Weston joining me.    Frances is an award-winning personal development specialist who has helped hundreds of women and children heal from the past, cope with distressing or challenging situations in the present and build themselves a brighter future.  Frances uses a blend of transformational techniques and innovative processes to help her clients get the breakthroughs and results they seek. Her work has been featured in numerous publications and professional journals, and she is regularly interviewed by BBC Radio.  Frances has a wealth of life experience which has given her a deep understanding of human nature and an ability to relate to her clients and put them at ease. Her clients come from all walks of life and include high-profile individuals in the public eye who particularly value the absolute discretion and completely confidential environment she is able to offer. Over recent years she has developed a bespoke, highly specialised approach to her work that seamlessly

This week on the show, I have Dani Soares joining me. Dani is a TV personality best known for starring on the reality show, Below Deck Sailing Yacht Season 2 which premiered on March 3, 2021. She now lives in Sydney, Australia with her 8-month-old daughter Lilly. In this episode Dani shares:  A little about her yachting career days. Juggling life between work and study plus having a beautiful 8-month-old baby at the same time. Her experience on Below Deck, and her relationships with the other cast members of the show. The struggle of wanting to keep her personal life private while being a TV personality. How she found out she was pregnant and how it was never a question of choosing to have the baby or not. It was only a question of how she will raise her baby. The reaction she felt when her baby's father requested a DNA test. How she handles criticisms while being in the public eye. Her superhuman ability to raise a baby as a single mum, study nursing at Uni, work as a beauty therapist, and deal with motherh

This week is a solo episode where I talk about setting yourself up for the year. January is a great time to look back over the past year and reflect on things; to think about all the awesome things you did last year and some of the things you wish you had done differently.  In this episode, I share some tips -  1. Different practices for reflecting on the year that was. 2. My highlights for 2021. 3. Celebrating and appreciating even the cumulative little things in life. 4. The importance of journaling to document your successes and things you are proud of. 5. Thinking about things you need to let go of before moving forward to the new year - people to forgive, relationships to mend, etc. 6. The importance of setting new goals for 2022. 7. Daily habits to 'fill your cup'. By doing this exercise, you can confidently face the new year with less baggage and you can take positive steps towards your goals.  Links mentioned in the episode:    Click HERE to listen to the goal-setting podcast episode.   Jump on the wa

My first podcast for 2022 is a solo episode. As I am recording this podcast, it is day 15 of my Covid journey and I'm still on the road to recovery. In this episode, I will talk about the raw, vulnerable, and uncut story of my Covid experience. I will highlight two important aspects around Covid: 1. The physical aspects, from my experience. How I started acquiring Covid symptoms and the shock I felt once I got the positive test result. Worrying about potential exposure to the virus of loved ones and people I came in contact with (hotel and hospital staff, driver, other passengers). The frequent trips to the hospital due to difficulty in breathing and fluctuating oxygen levels Physical symptoms I had (from body aches and chills to brain fog). 2. The psychological aspects, from my perspective. The effect on mental health due to isolation. The trauma, stress, and embarrassment that can be too much to handle. The fear of dying and leaving your loved ones behind. Disruption of future plans. The loneliness one c

This week on the show, I have a single mum, Sarah Robb, sharing her story.  **Please note this episode and topic may act as a trigger for some people, and this episode is not suitable to listen to within earshot of children.** Sarah is a beautiful member of my Thrive Tribe community whom I've known for a number of years now.  In this episode, Sarah talks about: how she met her ex, how they quickly entered into a very serious relationship, the gaslighting she experienced from her ex, the other red flags that showed up in the relationship, how she handled the discovery of her husband's infidelities and affair with another woman before and during their marriage, how she discovered that the other woman had a close relationship with her daughter and had known her since she had been born (without Sarah's knowledge), becoming a single mum twice, the importance of taking care of yourself first, how she focused on self-development to have a thriving life as a single mum, her favourite things about being a single mum,

In this episode, my special guest from last week shares Part 2 of her story. In the last episode (278 - Blindsided by my partner (Part 1)), my anonymous guest talked about how she had always thought she and her partner had a good life. They had been together for 7.5 years and they rarely argued.  Life was good when they had their first baby, but things quickly changed when she saw changes in her partner's demeanour and when he began a strong friendship with a girl from his work. Until one day, she was blindsided by her partner's sudden decision to leave her while she was just pregnant with their second baby. In Part 1, my guest talked about: the challenges of becoming a first-time mum and the shifting in identity from doing what she wanted when she wanted and adjusting to motherhood, how she never felt fully supported by her partner when it came to caring for the baby, not addressing the unspoken expectations about the shared responsibilities of being a parent, the signs and changes in the behaviour of her

This week on the show I have an anonymous single mum sharing her story. She's a single mum of 2 kids - a 3-year old and a 3-month old. My guest had always thought she and her partner had a good life. They had been together for 7.5 years and they rarely argued. They spent much of their time travelling the world together. She was studying for her Masters when they had an unplanned pregnancy, which caught her off guard as she was only a few weeks out from completing it and was about to pursue a new career. Life was good when they had their first baby. They bought a house and had good times together exploring new places. But things quickly changed when she saw changes in her partner's demeanour and when he began a strong friendship with a girl from his work. Until one day, when she got completely blindsided and was told by him that he wanted to separate. In this episode, my guest talks about: trusting the process when you have an unexpected pregnancy, as it has a habit of working things out in the end, the chall

This week on the show, I have Gina Fontaine joining me.    Gina is an author, a personal trainer, and a women's wellness coach, and has built a career helping women use movement to achieve optimal health. She has dedicated the last 27 years to studying her craft as a fitness professional.   Gina earned her Bachelor of Science degree in Kinesiology with an emphasis in Exercise Science from Indiana University in 1996. Since then, she has earned personal trainer certifications from the American College of Sports Medicine and the National Academy of Sports Medicine. In 1998, she became a certified yoga teacher. And, more recently, in 2018, she became a Postpartum Corrective Exercise Specialist.   Now, Gina has expanded her focus from physical health to include emotional and spiritual health as well; helping moms find a healthy, happy life balance through a realistic, sustainable approach to motherhood.   She lives with her three children in Denver, Colorado, where she continues to train and coach moms and give on

This week on the show, Jenny shares Part 4 of her story.    **Please note this episode and topic may act as a trigger for some people, and this episode is not suitable to listen to within earshot of children.**   In the first episode (Episode 273 - Part 1), Jenny talked about what life was like growing up with an alcoholic father and the sexual abuse she received from her father starting at the age of 9, and how she was betrayed by her own mother to protect her father. She shared how she overcame and thrived after sexual abuse.    The second part (Episode 274) was a continuation of her story where she talked about her two marriages. She shared how she faced the challenge of dealing with her husband and in-laws when they found out about her traumatic childhood. She also talked about the things that went wrong in both marriages, which ultimately led her to free herself and her daughters from a loveless marriage in order to thrive as a single mum.    In last week's episode (Episode 275 - Part 3) Jenny talks abo

This week on the show, Jenny shares Part 3 of her story.    **Please note this episode and topic may act as a trigger for some people, and this episode is not suitable to listen to within earshot of children.**   In the first episode (Episode 273 - Part 1), Jenny talked about what life was like growing up with an alcoholic father and the sexual abuse she received from her father starting at the age of 9, and how she was betrayed by her own mother to protect her father. She shared how she overcame and thrived after sexual abuse.    Last week's episode (Episode 274 - Part 2) was a continuation of her story where she talked about her two marriages. She shared how she faced the challenge of dealing with her husband and in-laws when they found out about her traumatic childhood. She also talked about the things that went wrong in both marriages, which ultimately led her to free herself and her daughters from a loveless marriage in order to thrive as a single mum.    In this part, Jenny talks about her narcissistic

In this episode, single mum Jenny shares Part 2 of her story.   **Please note this episode and topic may act as a trigger for some people, and this episode is not suitable to listen to within earshot of children.** In the last episode (Episode 273 - Part 1), Jenny talked about what life was like growing up with an alcoholic father and the sexual abuse she received from her father starting at the age of 9, and how she was betrayed by her own mother to protect her father. She shared how she overcame and thrived after sexual abuse.  In this episode, Jenny talks about her two marriages and touches on life as a single mum raising two daughters after getting divorced. In this episode, she also shared:  how she fell head over heels and married her first husband, what it was like dealing with her in-laws after they found out about her traumatic childhood, how both of her husbands coped with her traumatic childhood, how she gave in to her first husband's fantasies about sleeping with other men, which resulted in an u