Parenting Teens: The Biggest Job We’ll Ever Have Podcast

Have you ever wished for more meaningful communication in your family? Or how about just more communication? In this podcast, Director of The Biggest Job Family program at the Hyde School, Mary Moore, describes the difference she saw in her family relationships when they started having family meetings. At first, she felt the meetings were hoakie, but after the first several, she realized there was a different level of trust developing between her children, her husband and herself. Tune in and find out how you can do family meetings in your home; with commitment and letting go of outcomes, you, too, might establish a deeper level of trust between you and your kids. Resources: Family Meeting Format Worksheet PDF Hyde School's Biggest Job Family Program

Most of us know that sports teams all have leaders. However, would it be possible for everyone on the team to be a leader? Wouldn’t that create confusion, or chaos? “No,” says Bechler in his most recent book, The Leadership Playbook: Become Your Team’s Most Valuable Leader. “Everyone on the team needs to be striving to do their best, and be their best. It’s called collective responsibility; you are your brother’s keeper; what you do affects others.” This book teaches anyone who wants to be a leader on a team, or in life, the importance of having core principles and living by them; the importance of leading yourself, and how to do it; how to lead regardless of your role on a team. Listen to the podcast with Jamy and learn more of what’s in the book, how he came to write it, and his views on the importance of character for kids and parents, whether you’re on a sports team, a work team, or a family team.  Resources: The Leadership Playbook on Amazon.com Jamy Bechler's website, www.jamybechler.com

Are teenage girls really difficult to raise? Not according to Robin Axelrod Sabag, who is the author of Strong Girls, Strong Parents: A Guide to Raising Teenage Girls in a New Era. Not only will you enjoy this podcast, you’ll love the book. Robin is enthusiastic as she imparts many tips for parents of girls and gives background information on understanding why they are the way they are in their teens.  Robin’s website is www.robinsabagtherapy.com and you can find her book on amazon.com

Do you ever wish you had a map and compass for parenting? The 100 Lessons that go with The Five Fundamentals of Parenting might be the closest thing you will find. In this series, Laura Gauld, co-author of The Biggest Job We’ll Ever Have, will talk about 20 lessons that go with each of the Five Fundamentals. Tune in to the first five lessons, and learn how to do the right thing as a parent, present a united front, and the importance of parenting from your principles, rather than from fear, guilt or control. Here is a break down of the first 5 Lessons Laura talks about in this podcast of the first Parenting Fundamental, "Understand Your Job as Parents"; Parents are the primary teacher and home is the primary classroom.There are many influences in today’s youth culture that threaten the important growth process of a child. We must remember that the parent is the primary role model and the home is the primary atmosphere for developing character. Our job is to raise our children to be adults that are honest, dec

As most parents know, letting go of our children is very hard; we don’t want to see them fail and we often don’t want them to be unhappy. But how do our kids feel when we can’t let go? This podcast is with a mom, Sally Ross, and her daughter, Bryn Nolan, who graduated from Hyde, and who have a mature, open, and honest relationship with each other. The daughter talks about how grateful she is that she’s learned to be independent, and the mother shares with us the importance of not being afraid to let your child struggle. They both offer parents some valuable advice on raising responsible kids.  Resources: The Biggest Job We’ll Ever Have (Scribner, 2002) by Laura and Malcolm Gauld Hyde School www.hyde.edu

Imagine a school where every student cared – really cared and was concerned – about the best in their fellow students? Where the discipline and structure of the school was the responsibility of the students, and not just the teachers?  This concept, originally called Brother’s Keeper and now being called Each Other’s Keeper, is one of the most important concepts of Hyde’s basic tenets: Be the best possible you.  We can’t be the best on our own; we need the help and concern of those around us to achieve our best. Malcolm Gauld, president of Hyde Schools, explains it best. Links: Malcolm's Blog: Teen Stumbling Block: Brother's Keeper Malcolm's Blog: Brother's Keeper Meets Hyde Basel Malcolm's Blog: Brother's Keeper Reprise - 7 Parts Malcolm's Blog: BK Primer #6 Malcolm's Blog: Student Obstacles #1 & #2 Malcolm's Blog: BK: Now More than Ever

Do you ever worry that your child is off track in his or her character? That you’re not getting honest answers to your questions; that they don’t seem passionate about things in their life, or they aren’t really going after something? Character isn’t missing in kids; it’s there, and just needs to be uncovered. So says veteran teacher, John Rigney of Hyde School.  In this podcast, John describes how, through classes such as he teaches, kids can better understand themselves and be better prepared for college and the world as they leave high school. Find John on Twitter: @jdrigney https://twitter.com/jdrigney

Do you think you know what’s going on with your teen? Louise Kreiner, an educational consultant for over 30 years, thinks most parents don’t know what’s going on with their teens. “Teens are very private,” she says. “They share with their friends but they don’t share with their parents.”  She thinks parents should have access to their teen’s room and also to their computer and devices; she feels too many parents today walk on eggshells around their kids. “Be the parent, not their friend,” she says. Louise is a big fan of Hyde and she talks candidly about the type of family that she feels is a good fit for the school.  Contact Louise: Louise Kreiner, MA, CEP New England Educational Advisory Service P.O. Box 949 Amesbury, MA 01913 Phone: (978) 388-1578 Cell: (978) 375-0781 Fax: (978) 388-1873 email: LK@newenglandeducationadvisors.com New York Phone: (978) 388-1578 Florida Phone: (978) 388-1578

How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry) Want the answers to this statement? Then read Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy; and, listen to this podcast. (Well, the answers are in the book; the podcast is about what has influenced our fear of letting go…) Lenore is the woman who let her nine-year-old ride the New York City subway by himself. And started a whole new movement about what it means to keep kids safe.  She says, (and I’m paraphrasing)… “I don’t blame helicopter parents; it’s not their fault. We’ve been programmed to believe that the world is a very scary place, and unless we have a GPS on our kids at all times, we’re not being good parents.”  She rebuffs this idea with facts based on research and conversations that will help parents realize when and where they might be overprotecting their children and preventing their competence and confidence. You get an immediate sense of Lenore’s delightful humor from the website www.freerangekids.com: “fighting the belief that our

Wouldn’t it be great to have a map and a compass for our parenting? A “true north” answer for every situation that challenged our parenting decisions and wisdom? In our second interview with Laura Gauld from Hyde School, we are introduced to 5 Fundamentals of Parenting that might be that kind of guide.  While not actually being answers, these 5 Fundamentals give us a grounded place from which to look at each parenting challenge, and a kind of compass to keep heading in the right direction. Understand our job as parents. Raise children to be accountable to life. Build family traditions. Have faith in your child’s unique potential and the larger forces at work. Your growth will be your true legacy to your child. You can reach Laura Gauld through the BiggestJob.com website and Hyde.edu.

No one knows this more than parenting coach Rhonda Moskowitz of Columbus, Ohio. She says, “We have to remember that it’s about us, the parents; if it were about the kids, it would be called kidding.” In this podcast interview, Rhonda tells us the four things about which parents most often seek her advice: Drugs Alcohol Technology Kids’ friends In an upbeat, insightful way, Rhonda shares the importance of remaining calm when faced with a parenting fear, that going into high panic mode is not helpful, despite how fearful the issue might be, and the importance of building a relationship with your child. You can find Rhonda Moskowitz at www.practicalsolutionsparentcoaching.com  or by phone at 614-459-8628.

Jason Warnick has spent 15 years interviewing kids and families interested in Hyde School. He has seen teens as they begin their freshman, sophomore, or junior year, and he has watched them as they have come to gain confidence in who they are and where they are going in their lives. He’s observed three – what he calls “surprising” – traits that these kids possess: Compassion – in the age of social media and digital everything, this trait can get lost… Honesty –including the importance of self-honesty and the ability to hear what others say about us… Humor – being able to laugh at oneself and not take ourselves too seriously. And where do kids learn these traits?  You guessed it – from their parents. How are you doing in these three areas?

Most parents think their teens know everything about technology, and in fact are ahead of us, the parents. But Donna Dubinsky, head of technology at Hyde School, shares some fascinating information about what teens don’t know in this area. What does a private account on face book really mean? Does it mean complete privacy? Will college admissions offices be able to see postings that teens thought were private? If they post on snap chat and then delete, does it really go away? What is trolling? Why don’t teens see sexting as an intimate conversation? Donna learned from the teens she teaches that they feel the adults in their lives are not setting the best example in digital citizenship. Listen to this podcast and learn what you need to know to advise your teen, and to be the best you can be as a digital citizen.  Recommended Book: It's Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens by Dana Boyd Learn more about Hyde School's Parenting, The Biggest Job at www.biggestjob.com.  

Do you ever wonder if you'll ever be as savvy on those devices as your kids? And what about the amount of time they spend "plugged in?"  Do you worry about a proper balance in their lives? Diana Graber and Cynthia Liebermann, who run an organization called Cyber Wise: No Grownup Left Behind, met in graduate school in a program called Media Psychology and Social Change. They decided to take what they had learned on digital literacy and how kids learn in this changing world, and make it available to the people who need it most: parents and teachers. If you worry about the ethical decisions behind what your kids do when they're on-line, join this podcast for some great advice.  www.cyberwise.org Learn more about Hyde School's Parenting, The Biggest Job at www.biggestjob.com.

If you've noticed a theme in some of our podcasts about letting go, that’s probably because most parents struggle with it – a lot! In this podcast, former and current parents - one son has graduated and a second son is going into his senior year - Ben and Bonita Davis, share candidly about how the tension in their family had drifted from the vision they had for family members and themselves, how they found Hyde, and how it helped them in their parenting.  They found that the parent program deepened their trust in their kids and strengthened the love and trust that they had for each other. Learn more about Hyde School's Parenting, The Biggest Job at www.biggestjob.com.

“Every parent has a dream for their child; what is your dream?”  This is the question educational consultant, Barbara Leventhal, asks parents the first time she meets with them. “The most universal answer,” she says, “is, ‘I just want my child to be happy.’”  “It’s usually in middle school when parents come to me, realizing that their child is turned off. Once this happens, there are often a myriad of problems that can start to happen, from eating disorders and cutting, to unsafe friends and distractions while driving. And I believe that most of these things happen when kids are disengaged in learning.”     As a former classroom teacher and then school administrator, Barbara now works with middle and high school students, teaching them study skills and time management, what is often referred to as executive function.   In this podcast, Barbara gives parents the answer to what their child needs to be happy. Links: www.educonsulting.info Barbara’s Blog

School is for kids but Hyde is for families. Holly White, former Hyde parent, has a blended family that all benefited from Hyde School, although only her youngest child attended the school.  She talks candidly about getting past the disappointment of not having your child at home with you for high school, the financial burden of the tuition, and especially the resistance of the teen to leave home and go away to school.  She uses the term “deterioration of the fabric of our family,” a term that typifies many families today.  At Hyde, Holly learned that she was the peacemaker in the family, and how that role held the family back from creating a vision by which to live. She now lives with the weight of her foot in Truth over Harmony.

“What would it be like if parenting was fun and exciting and life with your kids was full of peace, harmony, cooperation, and respect?” This is a question early in Vicki Hoefle’s book, Duct Tape Parenting.  Consistent with the Biggest Job philosophy, Vicki teaches parents that the true job of parenting is what our kids will be like from the ages of 18 – 80.  She stresses that moms have got to get out of the job of being the maid in the house; that when we do for our kids what they can do for themselves, we send the message to them that it’s not okay for them to make mistakes. “Look at how you might be feeding the weeds of bad behavior and attitudes,” she writes, “by noticing your responses to your children.”   If you’d like a blueprint, complete with road map and directions, on how to raise respectful, responsible, and resilient kids – here it is! Links: www.vickihoefle.com

Paul Tough’s book, his third, is great! Although focused on disadvantaged populations of kids and families, there are many ideas, interventions, and strategies that apply to all populations. These include: the idea (and proof) that external rewards for kids don’t work – as proven by research that Paul presents; the need for more student autonomy in the classroom, which promotes confidence and motivation; and the evidence that students respond positively and persevere more when there are changes in the context of the classroom and the home. Focusing on children who grow up in chaotic and stressful environments, Paul talks about the influence that adverse childhood experiences have on both kids and those who are parenting or teaching them. He relates stories about proven interventions that he has observed, sharing the outcome of long-term studies. He shares with us his hope for change in education, and why he thinks it takes so long for change to occur. You’ll hear a lot from the book in this interview with P