Pirate Monk Podcast

On this episode: Aaron is missing someone to feed him grapes. Nate is home in Mount pleasant.This week, Nate and Aaron interview Joel Burns. Joel is a blogger and musician who is not a minister or college educated. He writes about and questions the journey of Christian manhood. Joel is a self professed skeptic and critic who helps ask why and leads others to question “church culture” and compare it to what the Bible actually says. Joel talks about lots of “myths” in the church that are dispensed as biblical or from God and are simply best wishes or preferences of someone. He encourages us ask questions and lead with “I think” instead of “this is what you have to do”. The guys also discuss and embracing humility in talking to others, especially when there are differing opinions. And Aaron finishes higher than he started.LInk: Warrior PriestMay 4-7, 2025 Sarah Society Annual Retreat June 6-8, 2025 Samson Canadian Retreat Sept. 12-14, 2025 Austrian Retreat Nov 7-9, 2025 Santa Fe, NM Samson Summit Nov 7-9, 2025 T

On this episode: Aaron is late and compromised, and Nate forgot. They discuss crisis management and cold fish.This week, Nate and Aaron interview Carl Lehenbauer. Carl is an author and pastor in Wisconsin. He shares that churches are often prudish and avoid the book of the Song of Songs, so he studied and wrote about it. Carl guides us on the model we should use in pursuing one another in a relationship. The book teaches that we should eat, drink, and be drunk with the wife of your youth. He talks about having sex with God in the room. Using the book for council and how to maintain realistic sexual expectations. It is also a tool used continually throughout marriage, not just courting as youth, helping us in conflict and tension. Also sharing the evidence that both parties in a relationship need their own community support.Book: Fire and Song: God’s Love Song. Your Love Story, by Carl LehenbauerMay 4-7, 2025 Sarah Society Annual Retreat June 6-8, 2025 Samson Canadian Retreat Sept. 12-14, 2025 Austrian Retreat

On this episode: Nate is disjointed for southern migration. Aaron loves appetizers and dips. Both discuss limiting outrage porn and news. This week, Nate and Aaron interview David Kerwin. David is a registered nurse who became a certified health addiction counselor and uses internal family systems in his practice. He shares his background of multigenerational addiction, depression, and suicidality. His personal experiences include alcoholism from childhood and being caretaker for his dad, and father to his little brother. He shares a phenomena of being sober from alcohol for 10 years before remembering sexual abuse. David defines and helps understand the “acceptable” topic of process addiction, and how it’s just another escape and way to medicate. He also talks about the 9 C’s of self energy and how they help us in our healing journey. Links: David Kerwin Path 2 Recovery Books Mentioned: No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the IFS Model Samson and the Pirate Monks: Calling Men to Authen

Nate enjoys a closed road. Aaron likes snow days and rocks his underwear. This week, Nate and Aaron interview returning guest Ron Williams and first timer Rob Schettler. Ron refreshes us on his story of over 20 years as a minister, prison time, and becoming an addiction recovery coach. He shared in more detail on episode 372. Rob shares about his journey as a Chaplain in pastoral care. They discuss how they assist others in healing from early childhood abuse through shepherding and story work. Ron reveals the science behind increased addiction and higher divorce rates for those who have experienced abuse, and offers hope. Ron and Rob talk about the journey starting Fe ministry to help forge men through Christ’s Compassion and Grace. Links: Fe MinistryMay 4-7, 2025 Sarah Society Annual Retreat June 6-8, 2025 Samson Canadian Retreat Sept. 12-14, 2025 Austrian Retreat Nov 7-9, 2025 Santa Fe, NM Samson Summit Nov 7-9, 2025 The Wild & Sacred Journey, Womens Retreat Sponsor: Life Works Counseling If you have t

On this fresh and Crunchy episode, Aaron likes soggy cereal. Nate gives instruction on the right way to approach cereal.This week, Nate and Aaron interview Dr Jim Wilder. Dr Wilder prefers to be called Jim. Jim is a neuro-theologian. Jim has studied the science of character change and given us the findings in his book, Renovated. He helps understand why thinking differently won’t change us, but connection will. Some of the other topics include: sugar is a distraction from the relational circuit, malfunction may be modern language for sin, joy is relational, and teens showing Alzheimer like symptoms from screen time.Links: Life Model WorksBooks: Renovated: God, Dallas Willard, and the Church that Transforms, by: Jim WilderMay 4-7, 2025 Sarah Society Annual Retreat June 6-8, 2025 Samson Canadian Retreat Sept. 12-14, 2025 Austrian Retreat Nov 7-9, 2025 Santa Fe, NM Samson Summit Nov 7-9, 2025 The Wild & Sacred Journey, Womens RetreatSponsor: Life Works CounselingIf you have thoughts or questions and you’d li

Title: Transformation w/ Art Blanchford   Aaron talks about the awkwardness of candy crushing your penis. Nate is Live. The guys discuss goals, resolutions, perfectionism, gamifying recovery, and increased success with community, support and feedback.This week, Nate interviews Art Blanchford. Art is a recovering workaholic, Tennessee local, and host of the Life in Transition Podcast. He is also a business consultant, coach, and leads midlife transformational retreats. They discuss the depth, growth, and development of Christian relationship in recovery. Also talking about the topic that service or ministry doesn’t have to be free, and the value of an investment. Art shares his experiences getting away and disconnecting from phones and tv and the refreshment that brings.Links: MidLife Transition Art Blanchford Art’s Email Art on LinkedinBooks: Purposeful Living: Wisdom for Coming of Age in Complex Times, by Art BlanchfordAtomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad ones, by: Jam

 The Brain Wears History Colored Glasses w/ Juliane Taylor Shore Aaron recaps the 2024 Samson Summit. He shares his takeaways on vulnerability, storytelling and five senses activities. Then he has bad internet. Nate discusses the first ever Canadian retreat June 6-8, eh. This week, Nate interviews Juliane Taylor Shore. Juliane is an author, speaker, teacher, therapist, and leads online and in-person intensives and workshops. She nerds out (in a good way) on neuroscience as she shares ways with us on understanding and creating new internal practices for health and safety. Juliane shares a quote that the “brain is your body’s captive audience” in learning to hear and understand ourselves. The thinking brain is good at some stuff, the feeling brain is good at other stuff, and faster. She walks us through an exercise on setting psychological boundaries and explains the process of creating new neural networks engaging the heart and belly. Links: Juliane Taylor Shore Books: Setting Boundaries That Stick: How Neurob

On this episode: Aaron interviews Mark and Michelle Hollingsworth. Our Guests: Mark and Michelle are trauma trained at the Allender Center and Art of Living Counseling Center in narrative focused healing as marriage counselors. They come from experience, navigating and recovering from an affair. They discuss offloading the burdens of trauma and secrets. Mark and Michelle talk about shame in the ministry, lack of Christian and church support, and navigating people that don’t know what to do with the pain. We learn how to bless the process of healing, and that everyone’s process is different. They also talk about when and how to share with children. Links:   Soul Reserve 2025 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more informat

On this episode: Nate and Aaron end 2024 with hope. Aaron feels it in his chest. Nate revisits old recovery. Nate predicts the best national retreat ever, and Aaron may hula. Our Guest: Dr. Tom Bellamy is from the UK and an expert on the topic of limerence. He explains that limerence has properties similar to drugs and expires fairly quickly. He discusses the history and how to recognize the limerence type of love. Dr. Tom also gives help on how to end it, and even how to prevent it in the future.  Links:   Book: Smitten: Romantic Obsession the Neuroscience of Limerence, and how to Make Love Last Book: Living with Limerence: A Guide for the Smitten Living With Limerence Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this minist

On this episode: This week, it's Friday to Aaron. Our Guest: Kimberly Panganiban is a Gottman-trained LMFT with a Filipino last name. She tells her story of being curious about people and her parent's divorce that led her to the therapy field. Kimberly shares that many sexual problems in marriage are simply misalignments and are repairable with the help of an outsider. She discusses the importance of sexual communication, so that a couple is connecting, not merely having a mechanical event. How pressure, rejection, and one-sided pursuit all kill libido and cause resentment. Kimberly tells us that it is important to discuss uncommunicated expectations explicitly. She also encourages everyone to shop around for therapists or counselors -- you are not obligated to the first one. Links:   Kimberly Panganiban Therapy Coach at Gottman Institute Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a n

On this episode: Aaron is excited. Our Guest: Christine Baker is a PHD, CSAT, LPC, SEP, and a sex addiction therapist. She shares her journey from working at the Baptist Children’s home and attending a lecture that led her to pursue sex addiction therapy for women. Christine later transitioned into sex addiction therapy for men and women, stating the value and importance of helping men heal and relate to women in a healthy and appropriate way. She talks about why it's easier for males to get into sexual recovery than females. They discuss the trend of women having a higher growth rate as sex addicts than men. She explains “stuck” responses and give tips on how to get “unstuck” to be able to move forward to grow and heal. Christine gives some practical tips on how to begin a habit of thinking rationally in our routines. Links:   Wayfare Counseling Christine Baker on Instagram Sensation Slide Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episo

On this episode: Nate and Aaron talk about different seasons of life. They share how important it is to balance parts of life, including: work, friends, play, and scheduling. Our Guest: Sam Jolman shares how he asked his brother to clarify sexual questions for him. They discuss how many people are sexually awakened and then immediately shamed. Sam shows us how to welcome one's sexuality, learning to respond with awe instead of lust. He talks about the different experiences of coming to sexual intimacy regulated and unregulated. And Aaron discusses how he raises his Ebenezer. Links:   Sam Jolman Book: The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this minis

On this episode: Nate and Aaron talk about healthy play. Nate shares what it's like to attend 3 intensives in 2 months. He shares the joy and relief in attending intensives instead of leading them. Our Guest: Shane Ramer is an old school skater, recovery coach, and podcaster. They discuss recreation and fun in sobriety and fighting the boredom. Shane shares why community is important, even when we may have found it in the wrong places at times. How giving back and volunteering helps to heal and grow along the healing path. Also, when to surrender and ask for help. Links:   That Sober Guy Podcast That Sober Guy Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women wh

On this episode: Nate and Aaron are back for another episode of the podcast a few people will enjoy. This podcast took a year off of Aarons Life. Planning for the Italy and Germany retreats are discussed, as well as Octoberfest. Our Guest: Dr. Carrie Cole is director of research, training, and runs the “Love Lab” at the Gottman Institute. She performs analysis of relationships. Carrie shares through research that men are more emotional than women and stay that way longer. Discussion includes reasons for jumping into a new relationship too soon (rebound), even if by accident, having sex or being physical too soon, and the desire to be cared for. Aaron discusses his @$$hole theory of dating. Other topics include helping all couples grow and understand the perpetual problems in a relationship. Carrie also offers a tool to help couples repair after an argument. Links:   Gottman Institute Carrie’s Contact Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upco

On this episode: Nate and Aaron bring the podcast back. Aaron wears pants and a hat on Thursday. Nate is still swimming and reads Lonely All the Time. And Aaron goes to jail. Our Guest: Vickey Easa is a therapist and podcaster in Boston Mass via SoCal. She discusses the cultural challenges of how sarcasm is avoiding vulnerability and also blocks intimacy. Understanding how males use insults to show love, especially in the show Friends. Vickey helps couples work through why we keep reacting and not connecting. Seeing each other’s pasts and stories, and how it has shaped their present messages. Vickey shares the downsides of how the brain reacts in self-preservation when there is a desire to connect. She offers simple steps for couples in the form of time-outs to help rebuild after arguments. Links:   Unmess Your Mind Book: Lonely All the Time: Recognizing, Understanding, and Overcoming Sex Addiction, for Addicts and Co-Dependents Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts

On this episode: Aaron interviews returning guest Andrea Ashley. Andrea is the host of the Adult Child podcast. She’s the only child from an alcoholic household who became sober at 19 years old. She shares her story of learning and implementing boundaries with her parents and others. Andrea shares how she has learned to see her inner child and stopped trying to correct it. She talks about how her friendships have grown over time as she has gotten healthier. They discuss the isolation of going deeper when others aren’t there. They consider importance of endings and that they aren’t all your fault. Andrea also discusses how suffering and pain cause positive healthy growth. Links:   Adult Child Podcast Instagram: Adult Child Podcast Youtube: Adult Child Podcast TikTok: Adult Child Podcast Events: 2024 Samson Summit If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podc

On this episode: Rob eats turtles and recommends the MickeyD’s app. Pablito eats fair foods and illustrates safety in vulnerable discussions. Our Guest: Nate talks to Nathaan Demers. Nathaan is a psychologist and has a passion for getting quality mental health to the underserved. He has come up with a unique way to help men that engages through humor. Nathaan talks about the many free resources as well as the ability to connect to a real person for help in under 60 seconds. Links:   Man Therapy Operation Veterans Strong Grit Digital Health Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is availa

Our Guest: Aaron dives right into the interview with Tim Timmons, musical guest for the 2024 Summit, pastor's kid, musician, worship leader, Tennessean by way of California, sporting a magnificent beard. He talks about growing up with the "husky" label, a home life that blew up as a young teenager, and his mother's intentionally taking the arrows to protect his relationship with his dad. Tim had a crisis of faith as a young adult, navigated with the help of incredible men who gave him permission to doubt well. It is the journey of doubt that forms us, not the answer to the question. Tim then was given a cancer diagnosis with five years to live.  That was 23 years ago. Hanging out with prostitutes and a rethinking of church.   Links:   Tim Timmons Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is

On this episode: Aaron gets out of bed to podcast and shares his “chesticles up” perspective. Jason shares what he looks forward to at the retreat and favorites from past retreats. Mark has some kind of ailment that Aaron can't pronounce and shares his experiences with Andrew Bauman. Our Guest: Nate talks with Sam Louie. Sam shares about the religion of work and his journey to becoming a counselor. Sam is a first-generation Chinese immigrant to the United States from Hong Kong. He shares his inadequacy about ethnicity, career, body, and masculinity. Sam says the shame he feels can be felt by eight generations. He shares the fantasies and escapes he developed trying to cope with his insecurities. He encourages us to embrace the shame and look for the positive intention behind the addiction. Links:   Passport to Shame: From Asian Immigrant to American Addict Prodigals International Sam Louie Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to

On this episode: Join Aaron as he talks to our guest Tim Fletcher. Tim’s journey includes pastorship, being on disability, and becoming a temporary counselor that has turned into a passion and career. Aaron and Tim discuss the history of trauma and therapy in Canada, the past, and even in the Bible. Tim shares that adapting to trauma (addiction), helps us survive childhood but messes up adult life. He also helps us understand and see less obvious addictions and escapes, such as: over-working, over-volunteering, and control. Links:   Tim Fletcher Events: 2024 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling   If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.   The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is