Thinking About It

We (ego/personality layer) feel we’ve studied/worked so hard, or given so much in a relationship and thus we deserve. But we actually do so little, and if the doing doesn’t belong to us, how can the result? Going deeper, the mistake lies in us not understanding that the knowledgeable and enlivening divinity, love, joy, or peace we seek is also within us, untouched by all our controlling and managing. Let go of the sense of doing and the entitlement to a specific result to experience the beauty that exists.

God, Atman or truth is formless, the oneness of all life, and free from the ownership of doing or acquiring. Enlivened by this essence, we can do what needs to be done. But we’re never in complete control of it all for divinity is the driving force. We can only control our present actions. Moreover, we all walk our own path of discovery and unfoldment, alone. Others can support us, but nobody, not even God, can go through our painful trials or facilitate our success for us. That’s what our journey is about!

When the Sun comes out, we wake up to do what we need to before we go back asleep. The Sun itself isn’t doing anything. Similarly, because the all-pervading truth or Atman is there, especially shining in our mind and heart, things happen as they are built to. Our senses function, mind feels, intellect reasons etc. So divinity allows us to see everything, but do we see divinity itself? What is that sentient, illuminous and enlivening light? Can I abide in it? Do I abide in it? Give it a try and see.  

When travelling on the road, it looks like the moon or clouds are moving with us when they’re actually fairly still! Movement is perceived when not there. The truth, Self, or Atman within us is like the moon. They’re not the one controlling, doing, moving, functioning or accomplishing. It’s our body, mind and thoughts that are running! Divinity is still, silent, peaceful and full, simply empowering and enlivening us as we do. So, pause and think: can it be responsible for the doings for it doesn’t even do?

We so often feel and say “I know” passionately because it’s where divinity is reflected in us. Similar to how a mirror just reflects, this thinking faculty (mind and intellect) is a mere reflective surface and not who I am (divinity). But since it shines, it absorbs my attention, which I then identify with and want to be (our personality), not able to distinguish the two. The most beautiful thing, however, is that since the reflection is in our thinking, we know exactly where to look to find divinity.

When understanding who we are, we mix up our divinity with the other layers of our personality. It’s why we can think we are powerful and capable beings, but also that we always fall short or make mistakes and the wrong choices. In these moments, our spiritual journey is about putting in a little extra effort. When life hands us a difficult situation and we rise to the occasion, we can separate our thoughts that are reflecting divinity from those that are reflecting our attachment to our personality.

Divinity is devoid of a form, but just as a crystal vase takes on the colour of whatever we put around it, we take on the qualities or characteristics of that around us. For example, we believe to be the body and its shape. Or, as emotions or desires surface in the mind, and opinions or logic in our intellect, we take them and each nuance on so strongly. But every single one of these descriptions belongs to the body, mind, or intellect, not us; not divinity.  

Just as the same 8 musical notes can come together in different ways to produce thousands of songs, all of our diverse selves are made of the same 5 elements (space, air, fire, water and earth). Even our most basic desires can make up such a variety of thoughts or reactions to things!

In all-pervading divinity, we put up divisions of “me” on our body, and “not me” to all that outside of us. We then build on that limited entity, using color (culture, skin, lineage, etc.) to define the person as “better” or “worse”. But while we can accept that we’re not just pretty faces, it’s harder to see that we give importance to other superficial aspects as well and overlook our essence. Our personality, values, habits, intellectual achievements, or emotional temperaments is not all that we are.

Everywhere around us, there’s space. All-pervading, it’s both inside and outside everything. So whatever we create is in that space. For example, walls create boundaries of the space in a room. But space is not conditioned by what is created as it is pervasive, untouched and indivisible. The truth and divinity that we are trying to understand is the same. We feel we are distinct and separate, but everything is inside of truth and therefore, not separate. Nothing can divide the truth, or us.

Each jewelry, whether it be a necklace, earring, nose ring, or bangle, has a different shape, size, design, or thickness. But in essence, all of it is the one same gold. In creation too, when we see things, we see it all as unrelated and distinct individuals. For example, when we look at buildings, oceans, or each other, we see me (one entity) and you (separate entity). But it is all from the same oneness; tied together in existence and in our ability to see, know or understand it (ie. consciousness/chit).

All creation comes from, plays in and dissolves into the unaffected substratum of truth, Supreme Self or divinity. For example, dreams are created by our mind, live in our mind and dissolve back into our mind. Even in terms of our own world, whether it be a belief, value or emotion that we create, it comes out of us. It exists for as long as we choose for it to before it goes back into us. So what exactly are we creating, how long do we want it to last and when are we going to be ready to let it dissolve?

We’re constantly projecting onto things, a value, belief or attitude that’s not there. In Vedanta, this is explained as superimposition on the substratum, after which, we see only the superimposed as real. For example, we superimpose gender, personality or aspirations on ourselves, seeing that as who we are. We even make sense of the world all based on our superimposed thoughts! Notice how quickly we assume something to be correct, important, or true when we haven’t even questioned it?

Despite having experienced our dream or an argument to have all been in our head, we still assume everything we’re experiencing is real. We feel the same palpitations, anxiety and dread every single time until it ends. Similarly, we passionately hold on to our likes and dislikes, let them grow into love and aversion and give them so much control over us. But they are as real as the dream for they change, and their hold is only for as long as it ends. Is that worth letting every thought direct us?

When we listen to Satsang or study the scriptures, uplifting thoughts are introduced. Despite adding more thoughts into a mind that’s already filled with them, the quality of the new thoughts changes the entire texture of our mind. This also changes who we are and what we experience as the purifying thoughts of the higher clear away all other useless or unnecessary ones. So in a mind free from pettiness, likes, dislikes or judgements, we enjoy what the scriptures explain to us is our true nature - love.

The Sun’s always there and shining, but when clouds come to cover the Sun, we wonder, “There’s no Sun today!” In the same way, our true nature of bliss, love and joy is always there and self-effulgent, but our own thoughts rise in our mind to block us from seeing our truth. And just as the wind blows away the clouds so that we see the Sun shining brightly in the sky once again, we meditate to quieten our mind. Upon letting go of every single thought, in the blissful silence, we come to know ourselves.

When we don’t know, we feel we are lacking and incomplete. We then want what we think we don’t have, prompting us into action. But when action is a product of our ignorance, it can never be the solution for it. Only knowledge is what opposes ignorance and can remove it. Thus, while Japa and service to mankind is important, they’re not going to give us knowledge but simply prepare our mind. So are your actions encouraged by your fears and desires or are they bringing you closer to getting knowledge?

We already are divine. We already have whatever it is we are looking for, but don’t know it. We have forgotten as the mind is so busy thinking or doing a gazillion things. It’s like when we go around looking for a missing pair of glasses or keys that we had on us this whole time. Ultimately, our spiritual journey is to just stop and remember our nature; that we have it all. Doing spiritual practices help us to quieten the mind and remove the obstructions keeping us being able to see what is already there.

Just like how food cannot cook without fire, we cannot transform without knowledge. Knowledge however, is not merely looking up, obtaining, and collecting information. Knowledge is imbibing that information. For instance, knowing why we are doing the spiritual practices we do lets us manage our energy and time so the actions serve their place and we don’t get distracted. Understanding the importance of knowledge in our spiritual evolution ensures we get what is important right.

We often first prepare ourselves for things we want, be it our goals, a job, or a relationship. So naturally, when we are seeking the highest that we can as human beings, some preparation, aka tapas, is required. Self-effort to lift ourselves is tapas. To put in self-control to become less dependent on comforting objects of the world is tapas. To detach from the body to find, nurture, strengthen and abide by what is inside is tapas. Prepare at the level of body, speech or thought, and feel the difference.