Mastermind Parenting Podcast

In this episode, I share a clip from my FB Live interview with Danielle Atkisson who runs the silver lining Mamas fb group. I started the clip on the tale end of answering a question from a mom that is worried about her 11 year old anxious daughter and how it’s hard to understand her bc they are opposites. We also went on to discuss defiance, sibling fighting and of course I share some stories from my own life. At the end of the episode I talk about my upcoming 30 day brain retraining parenting course, Closing the Parent Gap Basics. Enrolment closes April 28, 2018. You can read about it here. Http://www.randirubenstein.com/cpg Topics covered: Sib rivalry and conflict resolution The Calm Down Corner (time out alternative) Assertive Communication Anxiety Shaping beliefs   Get my book! Hear about my family history and the tools that have helped me replace old parenting patterns that simply don’t work with these puzzling kiddos. It's my way of paying it forward as a human that wants our kids to experi

In this episode, I discuss the documentary Screenagers and the silent addiction epidemic that we are facing as a society. I had been wanting to attend a screening of Screenagers and was coincidentally invited to be a panelist at a private school in my home city. Needless to say, I had a pit in my stomach as I watched the reality of what we are facing in terms of screen addiction and how it affects our kids and ourselves, frankly. The documentary validates much of what I teach when it comes to looking for a quick pleasure fix in the form of a screen. The movie includes the latest research in neuroscience and how screens affect our dopamine receptors in the same way as hard drugs. When our kids grow up on screens, we are literally hardwiring them for drug addiction. Super scary. I happen to love technology myself. It’s the reason why I can create a podcast and share it with you. I struggle with many of the issues mentioned in the film and I think that what many of us can take away from the film and the subseque

Why Time Out is Bogus In this episode, I discuss time-out; the punishment that many of us have used to replace spanking. We are often misguided to believe that it’s this progressive humane improvement when it’s potentially just as damaging emotionally as spanking is physically. I know many parents are simply looking for resources to teach their kids the difference between right and wrong. The punishment model has rarely been questioned in years past and yet, all the researchers and experts tell us that it’s ineffective. It accomplishes the opposite of what we want - stronger connections with our kids and effective measures for teaching appropriate behavior. Punishments like time out and spanking are divisive, polarizing and teach our kids not to trust us. One of my favorite new quotes that I coined recently is, “We don’t own our kids. Owning people is called slavery...not childhood.” Slavery is illegal. Our kids are little people. Our job is to teach, guide and keep our little people safe. Punishment does not

I discuss kids that I refer to as “sensitive nervous system kids” who present as challenging and willful and how they are usually misunderstood and frequently misdiagnosed as having conditions like ADHD. As parents we are often confused about what to do and what our options really are when it comes to these strong willed kids. Unfortunately, when we turn to traditional resources we are often led down a 1 size fits all path and it’s often not the right one for our kids. I’m on a mission to let other parents with a strong willed or sensitive nervous system kid know that there other solutions to consider besides the classic ADHD with a side of anxiety diagnosis that so many of these kids receive from western medicine doctors and therapists. These kids that repeatedly act out at home and/or school are often misunderstood when we try to attack the behavior with old school punishment tactics in an effort to shut down the misbehavior. Basically I shared my thoughts on this situation and the misunderstood rabbit hole

In this episode, I talk about one of the most powerful things you can do to help your kid through a hard moment; the skill of walking in their shoes to empathetically convey that you understand your child’s perspective.  This tool discussed in today’s conversation will help you to immediately improve the conversations in your home with your threenagers and your teenagers. Perspective taking is a form of empathy. I like to call it: Walking in your child’s shoes. When you imagine walking in someone else’s shoes and then discuss a situation from that place, it is very connecting for you and your child. Your child will feel really seen and valued when you communicate that you get what it truly feels like to walk in their shoes. In life when we are trying to have a productive convo with our kids, it’s important to see the other person’s perspective before  we even begin the conversation. We typically start a conversation by trying to convince the other person why they should see our perspective. This never works.

In this episode, we are going to discuss strong willed kids. These kids present as defiant and defensive. Everyone seems to walk on eggshells around these kids. Most likely, these kids have a highly sensitive nervous system. Smells are smellier, tastes are more intense, tags are scratchy-er, noises are noisier.When you have a highly sensitive nervous system, the world feels overstimulating most of the time and even more so during early childhood. These kids are often exhausted from the overstimulation and irritable as a result. The adults in their lives often mistake their cranky behavior. These kids frequently feel misunderstood and behave defensively. I have an interesting theory about these kids. I believe they are catalysts for change. I will teach you how to see your kid’s strong willed-ness as their super power.   Here are some pointers if you have a strong willed kid: Stay on top of basic needs: Sleep and nutrition. Get the sleep thing figured out. 10-11 hours a night of sleep is a necessity if you ha

In this episode I cover some specific mistakes we make when it comes to our kids going through the hard stuff. Whether your kid is struggling with school work or a rough patch socially, as parents we want to fix the hurt and take away their sadness, disappointment, insecurity, etc. There is a single tool that fixes negative emotions only - EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. It’s called empathy and there is a very specific way to model empathy with your kids when life throws a curveball their way. In this episode I will teach you the tool that many therapists use but in real life language so your kids don’t think you’re acting weird.   I share stories from my own life and the mistake I’ve frequently made with my own kids. The mistake involves jumping into solutions and trying to fix our kids without successfully empathizing first. I also share how the roots of that mistake come from a very well intended place of trying to be a good parent. I think you might relate to it. Topics covered: Empathy The skill of active listenin

As parents, we frequently find ourselves in a gap between the parent we want to be and the one we currently are when our kids are pushing our buttons. This is usually when we either yell (fight) or check out (flight). That’s right, we go into basic survival mode and many families find themselves living in a state of survival which often looks and feels a lot like everyone walking on eggshells. This is the opposite of what we want the vibe to be in our household. The Parent Gap is the name of my book and you can grab your copy here: www.mastermindparenting.com/book Closing the parent gap involves mastering your mind and retraining the old programs that show up every time you get triggered and lose your cool. I tell a story about a client in this episode that was dealing with her strong willed child who also happened to be addicted to playing on Mom’s phone. I know many of us can relate to this scenario in this day and age. I discuss why her approach wasn’t working and what to do instead. Here’s the clip from W