Parents Lead

There is a space between you and me where the balance is just about right, but if the balance gets out of balance, all is not well. That's true whether you are my child, my partner, my employer, or just someone who wants and needs my attention. In this episode of Audio Tidbits, I give some thought and attention to this balance.

orris, Tom. If Harry Potter Ran General Electric: Leadership Wisdom from the World of the Wizards. New York: Doubleday, 2006. The greatest teachers are always masters of their subjects who lead, train, guide, and inspire their student apprentices to their own forms of excellence. They never just pass on information. The master is a model, coach, helper, and motivator as well as a teacher and trainer. The best leaders teach by example and guide with encouragement. What we haven't ourselves received, we can't pass on to others. ... A great mentor is a person who has filtered his or her own prior personal experience, along with the experience of many others, analyzed it fully, and extracted from it the wisdom it contains. Ultimately, he is a great leader because he's a wise man who knows human nature, and who acts in everything he does with great character. Without truth, people can't work effectively. Without trust, people can't work efficiently. The best leaders in most circumstances tend to be just

Come with me now into the heart of the pulsing confusion that passes for reality. There we find all of the experiences that register as real and meaningful. We also register that which we call phantom and fanciful. It is a cauldron of real and not real, possible and not possible, and what we determine to be reality and the other. It’s the other on which we are focusing. We know that our experience goes beyond what we know to be real and meaningful. It is the realm of the other. But how do we distinguish and what are the distinctions? We want to believe that the real is that which we see but we nonetheless invasion that which we know to be of the other. We want to believe what we hear and don’t want our ears to mislead; but even so, we hear sounds and voices that can only be from the other. The other appears to us and intrudes as sound, but still we believe in the real but not the other. The other may come to us through taste, touch, or smell, but we still persist in believing that we can know it is of th

This episode of Audio Tidbits is no more nor no less than you might expect from an episode called Random Wisdom. If you are already wise enough, feel free to skip the episode. But if you can always use a little random wisdom, press play and enjoy.

ockell, Leslie and Adrienne Avila. The 100 Greatest Leadership Principles of all Time. New York: Warner Business Books, 2007. Leadership is a matter of intelligence, trustworthiness, humaneness, courage, and discipline. A leader is one who sees more than others see, who sees farther than others see, and who sees before others see. - Leroy Eimes The leaders who work most effectively, it seems to me, never say "I." And that's not because they have trained themselves not to say "I." They don't think "I." They think "we"; they think "team." They understand their job to be to make the team function. They accept responsibility and don' sidestep it, but "we" gets the credit ... This is what creates trust, what enables you to get the task done. - Peter F. Drucker A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not. - Anonymous Nobody rises to low expectations. - Calvin Lloyd A community is like a ship: Everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm. - Henrik Ibsen.

In these days of fake news and intentional misinformation, it's easy to wonder if anything we read or hear is true. Maybe even more alarming is our inability to know who to believe, who to trust. And of course, that is the point of fake news and misinformation. The goal is not so much to get us to believe false this or untrue that as it is to fuel mistrust and doubt: mistrust of our political leaders and doubt about the intentions and motivations that underpin our government and institutions. In The Fine Art of Baloney Detection, Carl Sagan was definitely on point when he counseled, "Finding the occasional straw of truth awash in a great ocean of confusion and bamboozle requires intelligence, vigilance, dedication and courage. But if we don't practice these tough habits of thought, we cannot hope to solve the truly serious problems that face us — and we risk becoming a nation of suckers, up for grabs by the next charlatan who comes along." It's harsh but certainly self-evident that "If you don't control you

You've probably heard the advice that tells us that we have to go along to get along. Much of the time, if it's not altogether true, it's at least convenient. Christopher Morley puts it like this, "Lots of times you have to pretend to join a parade in which you're not really interested in order to get where you're going." We have our individual goals and agenda, but much of the time, prioritizing our personal interests requires too much effort or may actually be counterproductive. Michael Korda is on point when he advises, "The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by other people's rules, while quietly playing by your own." The truth here notwithstanding, there is a very real danger. On the one hand, we run the risk of becoming so accustomed to fitting in that we passively subordinate our goals and agenda to the will and wishes of others; or on the other hand, we are so intent on guarding our individuality that we become inappropriately rigid and inflexible. Finding the middle ground is di

There is a popular notion that advises that we can't succeed without first failing. The idea is that we fail forward to success. There are other variations such as we learn best from our mistakes and this sweeping generalization from Herman Melville, "Failure is the true test of greatness." Since notions like "failure is a prerequisite to success" or "mistakes are prelude to positive outcomes" strike me as absurd, I think I will turn to Buddha for guidance. "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it — even if I have said it — unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." If you are reluctant to take this contrary thinking trip with me, let me remind you of Bertrand Russell's take on contrary thinking. "In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." Or perhaps this from J K Galbraith, "The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking." Sure, I've made my share of mistake

I am reluctantly considering the conclusion that much of what I have believed for as long as I have believed anything may represent far more hope than truth. Sure, I admit to taking it for granted that things actually are the way I have always thought they are, that my reality is valid and based on the true and factual, and that my sense of what's real is correct and axiomatic. Naive? Simple-minded? Perhaps dangerous? Indeed. But nonetheless, I believed. I take some comfort in knowing that a preference for belief over thoughtful consideration didn't just start with me. The Roman philosopher Seneca observed that "Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment." It's likely that the "exercise" part of exercising judgment is the showstopper for many, if not most of us. For me at least, it has been easier to relax and believe. Robert Brault got it right when he pointed out that "An old belief is like an old shoe. We so value its comfort that we fail to notice the hole in it." To my surprise and disappoint

I’m tempted to initiate our conversation by saying, “There are two types of people: ….” Since my plan is to talk about advice and attitudes, I think it will suffice to simply remind us that there are people who ask for advice and those who actually follow it only when the advice we offer is an exact fit with what they wanted to hear. They are usually the same people. Hannah Whitall Smith understood the key to advice giving when she pointed out, “The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right.” If that adequately sets the stage for both of us, let me suggest that attitude matters, and quite often, attitude is all that actually matters. If you doubt the truth of this putative fact of life and living, let me share the perspectives of some other folks who have given a lot of thought to the notion. From there, you can and of course, will draw your own conclusion. In turn, I will remain pe

alciccioli, Greg. The Enemies of Excellence: 7 Reasons Why We Sabotage Success. Crossroad: The Crossroad Publishing Company, 2011. Few people consider how to sustain their success because they’re too busy trying to achieve it. Most leaders want to be the best people they can be and to lead with excellence. They want to thrive, and they want the people around them to thrive. They have the best of intentions. Success is inherently unstable. The skills it took to establish success cannot sustain it. A high-profile leader is surrounded by people who are hungry for the leader’s success. They want him to succeed, and if the price for that is to overlook a few red flags here and there, so be it. The greater the success, the greater the danger. To deal the fatal blow to egotism, you must identify what you desire as the outcome of your life and leadership. You need to ask yourself: Are you striving to reach just another self-centered summit, or are you leading people and the organization you serve towards somethin

According to KLM Royal Dutch Airlines, they believe actions speak louder than tweets. I don’t know the context for their mentioning this, but I definitely agree. How about you? I will leave you to your own speculation about who or what comes to mind when the subject of tweets comes up. I only caution you to avoid conflating tweeting with doing, tweeting with thoughtful discourse, tweeting with reality. Although tweets and tweeting are fairly recent innovations, the idea of communicating through compact pronouncements is not. Let’s try a few examples that would have worked quite well as tweets, had the option been available at the time. I have picked out examples that may have best been directed to today’s most prolific tweeters. May I suggest that you focus on a specific tweeter, if one comes to mind. That will help when considering the fit between tweets and action, as KLM suggested. #JohnLocke “I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.” #BenjaminFranklin “Well done is

There are many reasons why some of us succeed while others of us are only getting by. One of the more hidden reasons is directly related to how successful people – yes, all of them — communicate. They always have smart conversations. While others are having simple conversations, the successful are doing smart, without anyone noticing. Do you communicate for success? I doubt that you ever do otherwise. I am assuming that you are too smart to be that dumb. Listen and hear how it works.

an Vugt, Mark, and Anjana Ahuja. Naturally Selected: Why Some People Lead, Why Others Follow, and Why It Matters. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., 2011. If you’re concerned about the amount of time your underlings spend around the water cooler – don’t be. Gossip is an entirely natural and frankly ineradicable method of winkling out unsuitable managers, although you might not be so keen on office hydration if you’re an office ogre. Still, the fact is that we are ancient brains trying to make our way in an ultra-modern world; when shiny new corporate ideas rub up against our creaking, millennia-old psyches, the clash can make us feel uneasy. … nobody wants workplaces to become havens of primitivism, but we do seem happiest when our working environments echo facets of ancestral tribal life – a close-knit structure governed loosely by trusted elders, in which every member was valued for his or her unique contribution to group living and survival. Every human society that has ever been observed contain

The air is thick with tariffs, or is it? We hear about more and more tariffs and tougher and tougher negotiations. But is that the truth of it, the bottom line? I think not. I suspect the truer story is more and more taxes on each of us. That’s the real negotiating strategy. Press play and come to your own conclusion.

Do you know someone who is proud of being his or her own person? By that, they mean that the social rules and customs that apply to most of us just don’t apply to them. They think that conforming and predictability are for everyone else but not for them. They are their own person and others will just have to deal with it. Let’s think about how that might work out over time. Press play and join me.

Do you see a committed relationship in your future or perhaps a renewed commitment to an ongoing relationship? If so, you may do well to listen and consider if you are actually ready to commit.

ockerell, Lee. Creating Magic: 10 Common Sense Leadership Strategies From a Life at Disney. New York: Doubleday, 2008. Each of the fifty-nine thousand Cast Members is trained to treat each and every Guest with the utmost care and respect. And they do this consistently because they are treated exactly the same way by the Disney leadership: with the utmost care and respect. …they fail to appreciate the critical difference between managing and leading. I learned the hard way that managerial skills are absolutely essential for getting results, but they are not enough to drive excellence. Excellence requires common sense leadership. …all everyone wants is to feel special, to be treated with respect, and to be seen as an individual. …leaders have to set the proper tone by staying cool, calm, and collected under pressure. No matter what’s going on, they have to focus single-mindedly on doing the best they can with what they have instead of blaming, whining, or wishing that things would change. Just as great pare

iseman, Liz and Greg McKeown. Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., 2010. It isn’t how much you know that matters. What matters is how much access you have to what other people know. It isn’t just how intelligent your team members are; it is how much of that intelligence you can draw out and put to use. The Diminisher is an Empire Builder. The Multiplier is a Talent Magnet. The Diminisher is a Tyrant. The Multiplier is a Liberator. The Diminisher is a Know-It-All. The Multiplier is a Challenger. The Diminisher is a Decision Maker. The Multiplier is a Debate Maker. The Diminisher is a Micromanager. The Multiplier is an Investor. Would your people describe you as someone who recognizes talented people, draws them in, and utilizes them at their fullest? Would they say they have grown more around you than any other manager they have worked for? Or would they describe you as someone who pulled them into your organization not as a talent to be devel

This one is just for listening. Kevin does his magic to brighten up our day, especially if it is still Monday where you are.