What's Lightsabers, Precious?

Presenting "Songs in the Key of Gonk, Vol. 1", as performed by the Gonkian Droid Choir. Track list: 01. The Gonk 02. Amazing Gonk 03. Awesome Gonk 04. Barbie Gonk 05. Cantina Gonk 06. Gonkcerning Hobbits 07. Gonke Maria 08. Gonks Just Wanna Have Fun 09. Never Gonka Gonk You Up 10. Since U Been Gonk 11. The Gonk (Reprise) Download tracks here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1CeNaQPKM0hnKLtv26sU4M38SUPP4oH3k?usp=sharing

Performed by the Gonkian Droid Choir. Songs in the Key of Gonk, Vol. 1 available here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1CeNaQPKM0hnKLtv26sU4M38SUPP4oH3k?usp=sharing

Who's the biggest Incel in Middle-Earth? How do you get a droid cultist off your doorstep? The answers to these questions, plus Disney meta, robot hymns, and untrustworthy goth kids.

Joanna's back from New Zealand, so it's time for the low-down on Tolkien tourism. Meanwhile, Ryan delves into the aggravating third installment of the Jedi Prince series. All this, plus braze, violations of property rights, and desiccated corpses. Zorba the Hutt's Revenge illustrations - https://imgur.com/a/RXfGR

This week on WLPRPG, we're finishing our Fantasy Flight Star Wars adventure with Ryan as game master and Joanna as Jub-Jub the force-sensitive ewok. In this thrilling finale, Jub-Jub finally comes face to face with Trioculus. Will she be able to stop him despite only having two eyes? Listen and find out... More info about Fantasy Flight Games' Star Wars RPGs - https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/starwarsrpg/

This week on WLPRPG, we're continuing our Fantasy Flight Star Wars adventure with Ryan as game master and Joanna as Jub-Jub the force-sensitive ewok. In part 2 of 3, Jub-Jub tries to stunt her way out of Cloud City with the lightsaber of Darth Vader. But she runs into some trouble along the way... More info about Fantasy Flight Games' Star Wars RPGs - https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/starwarsrpg/

While Joanna is in New Zealand, we've prepared a podcast within a podcast for you - WLPRPG, the show where we play roleplaying games based on the fictional worlds our podcast dissects! This week we're playing the Fantasy Flight Star Wars system with Ryan as game master and Joanna as Jub-Jub the force-sensitive ewok. In part 1 of 3, Jub-Jub runs afoul of Gorja the Hutt as she and her "padawan" Skiv Darson attempt to steal a mysterious white cylinder for Willrow Hood... More info about Fantasy Flight Games' Star Wars RPGs - https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/starwarsrpg/

How do you keep your bros from entering your magical Hot Babe zone? What's the one thing a Sarlaac won't eat? The answers to these questions, plus greedy Dwarves, brood pouches, and J.R.R. Tolkien's favorite shape. First Age Middle-Earth map - https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/lotr/images/1/12/Map_of_Beleriand.jpg Huttese Dictionary - http://www.completewermosguide.com/huttdictionary.html

Can you sue a god? Are there cats in a galaxy far, far away? The answers to these questions, plus hot gos, tubular transports, and the horrors of the Ho'Din. Lost City of the Jedi illustrations - https://imgur.com/a/xOzSx

A tribute to the Ice Cream Maker Guy of Cloud City. Written by Matt, performed by Willrow Hood. Backing track sampled from Credits Where Credits Are Due by Jared Emerson-Johnson, featured on the Star Wars: The Old Republic soundtrack.

How are Elves and Orcs related? Who is the most eligible bachelor on Cloud City? The answers to these questions, plus nice shirts, workplace harassment, and a rap about Willrow Hood.

Did Hobbits celebrate Christmas? What's in a Wookiee Cookie? The answers to these questions, plus heartwarming letters from Santa, drug-fueled Wookiee spirit journeys, and the Star Wars Christmas album. Tolkien illustrations - https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/tolkien-favorite-father-christmas-santa-holiday-letters Wookiee Cookies recipe - https://www.starwarsholidayspecial.com/text/wookiee-ookies.htm Oral history of the Star Wars Holiday Special - http://mentalfloss.com/article/72863/dark-side-oral-history-star-wars-holiday-special

What happens when a giant spider suffers a nasty breakup? How many eyes does Trioculus have? All this, plus interracial romance, whale operas, and an interstellar wormhole-hopping glove.

How is Morgoth like a Captain Planet villain? Who builds a nature preserve next to a black hole? All this, plus spider baby-daddies, Ewok blood rituals, and too much Joh Yowza in our first ever All-Tree Extravaganza! 9 Best Trees in Tolkien - https://www.tolkiensociety.org/blog/2014/08/9-best-trees-in-tolkien/ Dulok - https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/9/97/Dulok_from_SWE.png Yuzzum (Joh Yowza) - https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/a/a1/Yowza_Jedi_Rocks.png Teek - https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/5/57/The_Teek.jpg Gorph - https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/0/08/Gorphs.png Endor Holocaust - https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/d/d0/Endor_Holocaust.jpg

Which of Arda's gods is the most kissable? Should the Jedi be outlawed for manipulating time and space? All this, plus blue dinosaurs, Ewoks in Middle-Earth, and a very special guest! Map of Valinor: http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/v/valinor.html News Goblins: https://www.newsgoblins.com/ Vertiguys: http://vertiguys.blubrry.com/

Did Sauron have a dad? How powerful were Chewbacca's thighs? Our hosts discuss these issues, with brief digressions into Flat (Middle) Earth Theory and the injustices of Mad Claw. Arda map - https://i.imgur.com/1maPijp.png Wookiee concept art - https://i.imgur.com/3O9aKn1.jpg