What's Lightsabers, Precious?

Can male elves get pregnant? Who's a guy gotta kill to become the Pumpkin King? Answers to these questions, plus filk, sea longing, and other heartwarming holiday tales.

Who says princesses are for girls and starfighters are for boys? Do you want an Arwen doll or an X-wing toy? Your personal answers to these questions, plus semi-appropriate Disney songs, looking at plastic spaceships, and blowing up the Happy Meal dichotomy.

Is a troll that lives in a cave in the mountains a cave troll or mountain troll? What's Salacious Crumb's middle name? Answer to these questions, plus sqwiwwels, the high price of comedy, and pressing F to pay respects.

To celebrate our one-year podcast anniversary we created a game called HOBWOKS and played it with our special guests Abbey and Jack! Stay tuned for the Worst Name Challenge, a preview of what's to come, and completely real ads not recorded for comedy purposes! Download HOBWOKS here: https://goo.gl/xRa8Rp

How does Middle-Earth calculate leap years? Where do egg babies come from? Answers to these questions, plus unfriends, pet teens, and Richard Slap.

How do you get the best reception with a palantir? Is it safe to meet with strangers from the Holonet? Answers to these questions, plus Sauron's buddy profile, Dannik Jerriko's FurAffinity, and Daddy Longshanks.

What's the most contentious argument in the Tolkien legendarium? Can a hologram eat a guy? Answers to these questions, plus balfrogs, poker night, and naming someone after a stomach gurgle in our last week of SPOOKY OCTOBER!

What category of ghost do the Dead Marshes fit into? Can you trust an organization called the Imperial Biological Welfare Division? Answers to these questions, plus two Sherlocks, monster blobs, and possibly our worst intro ever as Spooky October spooks along!

Why are there ghost dudes trapped in a mountain full of skulls? How do you retell Re-Animator for kids who love Star Wars? Answers to these questions, plus Isildur's giant dad, a trip in the Numenoran Delorean, and jetpacking away from conversations as SPOOKY OCTOBER continues!

What happens when the Witch King's demons gentrify your neighborhood? What's your creepy shape-shifting uncle doing all day? Answers to these questions, plus Tom Bombadil's fire tracks, Hey Chood, and other thrills and chills in our first installment of Spooky October!

Which fantasy animal did Tolkien introduce to the world? Why does a tauntaun stink so bad? The answers to these questions, plus demon possession, misguided attempts at camouflage, and Michael Fassbender. New Yorker LOTR article: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2001/12/10/the-hobbit-habit Episode gallery: https://imgur.com/gallery/Mov2gmh Lucasarts Game Informer article: https://www.gameinformer.com/b/features/archive/2015/04/04/fall-of-the-empire-how-inner-turmoil-brought-down-a-legendary-studio.aspx

What's more important: pacing, or Riddles in the Dark? How fares the Star Wars prequel trilogy without the antics of Jar-Jar Binks? Is it really possible to successfully condense three movies into one? The answers to these questions as we dive into the world of fan-edits, plus mothagrams, identical boys, and a shocking upset in the Worst Name Challenge. There and Back Again - https://thenamelesseditor.wordpress.com/ A Last Turn to the Dark Side - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N59gabo9lqc

Which Star Wars character drove a toddler to suicide? What was Tolkien's beef with cats? The answers to these questions, plus hints from Mark Hamill, calls to our mothers, and a crack-addicted dad who heard the devil laughing at him.

Why does everyone want to sniff Galadriel's hair? How did the founding fathers plagiarize Mon Mothma? Answers to these questions, plus trophy husbands, the canonical heights of fictional characters, and Bothan pies.

How do you tell someone to eff off in Elvish? How is C3PO like Mr. Mime? The answers to these questions, plus Billy Madison parallels, hopefully-interesting discussions about grammar, and our very first Worst Name Challenge!

What happens when you send nine dudes with attitude to the wraith world? How is a 20,000-year-old plant monster a feminist icon? The answers to these questions, plus in-depth interviews with screamin' fiends and gurgle pits. Sarlacc cross-section: http://wiki.starwarsminute.com/images/4/43/Sarlacc_cross-section.jpg

In our most G-rated, family-friendly episode to date, we discuss Elves and their good Catholic values, aliens and their completely non-butt-shaped faces, and a genre of music that in no way sounds like something dirty. It's a happy, shiny, all-holds-barred deep-dive into decency and morals that will never in a million years get blocked by content-scanning robots on social media. Strap in and prepare for a mild ride!

Who are the unsung heroes of the Star Wars production? When did Frodo Baggins straight-up murder a dog? The answers to these questions, plus New Zealand rednecks, ponies with poor body image, and the shocking truth behind Trotter's shoes. The Secret History of Star Wars by Michael Kaminski: http://a.co/fAbePpT Deleted Magic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2r4Nffrc6Y Luke as a girl: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/f9/11/01/f9110119c0b71d280d6cf19824aae025.jpg

What kind of hero cold clocks a princess in the jaw? What kind of villain names his pony after himself? The answers to these questions, plus goop, casual grave robbing, and bickering DMV employees.

Since when did Bilbo Baggins have a wife? Since when was Star Wars about Vietnam? The answers to these questions, plus Chuie Two Thorpe, Bingo Bolger-Baggins, Beber Fever, and George Lucas' long-suffering friend Jeff.