Creating A Family: Talk About Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Should you consider adopting or fostering a child who is older than a child already in your family? Are there things you can do to make it easier for all the children? We talk to Elizabeth Bohlken, Director of Education and Support at Children's Home Society and Lutheran Social Services of Minnesota, to talk about the preparation, joys, and challenges of disrupting birth order.In this episode:What is disrupting birth order?Why is this a topic that prospective adoptive or foster parents should educate themselves about?When combining children by birth and adoption, is it better for the adopted child to be the eldest, the youngest, or in the middle?Is there an age gap that is most recommended or best practice between children when disrupting birth order?Are there similarities between families that have a blend of children by adoption and birth, and families with blended children from divorce and remarriage?How much does age really matter?At w

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: How do we handle an adoption that has been closed from the first mom’s end? We don’t even have a photo of her despite our request.Our #1 Secret Tip for Navigating Open Adoption5 Tips for Navigating Sticky Situations with Birth ParentsWho Holds the Power in Adoption: Birth Parents or Adoptive Parents?Where is Mommy? Helping Kids Cope with Absent ParentsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Did you know that the current reigning Miss Kentucky is a foster alum? We spoke with Ariana Rodriguez about her life leading up to the pageant circuit, what motivates her, and how her foundation, The Lucky Ones, is changing foster care experiences for foster kids in Kentucky.In this episode, we talk about:You made history as the first Miss Kentucky to have been in foster care. Can you start from the beginning and give us the story that led to this title?What was it like living with your grandparents? What were the positive changes? What was hardest about this time of your childhood? How did that time in kinship care help shape who you are today?Were you able to stay in touch with your siblings?What gaps or “pain points” for kids in foster care or kinship care did you experience in those years?How did these lived experiences begin to transform into a passion or mission for advocacy? Was there a pivotal moment when you said, “This is my platform”

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I recently listened to a podcast featuring an adoptee, a birth mother, and an adoptive parent, which was great. The adoptee talked about when it hit her that she was adopted and feeling like her birth mother threw her away. My sons are adopted through the foster care system. One is technically still a foster child. My oldest was removed from his birth mother immediately after being born and placed with us. My second son spent about a year with his parents in a very neglectful situation, and drugs were a factor in both situations. I'm wondering how to respectfully have that conversation with my sons when the time comes. Note, please, that we are a two-dad household, so there's no hiding the adoption from them.Resources:Talking about Adoption at Different AgesHow to Make and Use an Adoption LifebookTalking with Young Children About Adoption and Birth ParentsBooks for Kids Adopted from Foster Care9 Things Adoptive Parents Must

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you familiar with pathological demand avoidance? Do you need helpful strategies to raise a child with the challenging behaviors that characterize PDA? Listen in to this conversation with Dr. Cynthia Martin, a clinical psychologist, the former Senior Director of the Autism Center at the Child Mind Institute, and founder of CM Psychology in Manhattan, NY.In this episode, we discuss:What is Pathological Demand Avoidance?What makes PDA different from typical defiance or resistance?Is PDA considered an official diagnosis, or is it more of a way to describe a cluster of behaviors that we’re seeing in some kids?What do we know about the underlying causes?How does PDA relate to other conditions like autism or ADHD? What are the overlaps with trauma, prenatal substance exposure??What are the types of behaviors parents or caregivers might see?How can a caregiver tell the difference between a child who can’t comply and one who won’t comply?Where do pa

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: How to talk to your child about their conception story when embryo donation/embryo adoption is involved in forming your family?Resources:Embryo Adoption (Resource Page)Suggested Books for Children Conceived Through Embryo DonationDisclosing Donor Conception to Our Kids (podcast)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Talking about the difficult parts of our child's story, like abuse or prenatal substance exposure, can be overwhelming. Kelly Weidner, the co-founder and Executive Director of Haven Adoptions & Family Services in Ambler, PA. She has 28 years of experience in foster care, residential care, and adoption, which will help us navigate these challenging conversations with our kids.In this episode, we discuss:What kinds of issues do we mean when we say “difficult parts” of a child’s story? What are some of the everyday challenging conversations that adoptive parents must tackle?Why is it necessary to introduce these potentially painful, complex issues to our kids?Why are parents reluctant to talk about these issues?What steps should adoptive parents take when choosing to start these conversations? Where do they start?What is a Lifebook, and how can parents use them to introduce and build on the story as their child grows?What should be includ

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Having the right documentation, signed, dated, and completed, is crucial to maximizing the claim and avoiding delays or audits. But before we jump into the actual documents, let's start with the big changes to this year's adoption tax credit, because these are important details for families to know this year.Resources:Adoption Tax Credit Resource PageFinding a Tax Specialist to File Your Adoption Tax Credit ClaimAdoption Tax Credit (IRS)5 Things to Know About the Adoption Credit (IRS)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Let us know about your adoption journeyDid you finalize an adoption in 2025 or within the last several years? Are you eligible to claim the Adoption Tax Credit? Listen to this conversation about the 2025 Adoption Tax Credit. Our guests are Becky Wilmoth, an Enrolled Agent and Adoption Tax Credit Specialist with Bill’s Tax Service, and Josh Kroll, the Adoption Subsidy Resource Center coordinator at Families Rising.In this episode, we discuss:What is the Adoption Tax Credit for adoption being claimed on 2025 federal taxes?What is different about this year’s Adoption Tax Credit? How would you claim the Adoption Tax Credit if you get a tax refund every year?What types of adoptions are included or excluded in the Adoption Tax Credit? Are kinship adoptions covered? Are kinship guardianship arrangements/expenses covered? What if the relative child was never involved with the foster care system?Can you claim the Adoption Tax Credit for each adoption yo

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: An aspect of adopting that we didn’t hear about was how your mental health is challenged throughout the process. It’s a roller coaster of emotions, and this isn’t discussed as often as organic issues such as drug or alcohol use.Resources:Creating a Family Online Support GroupAdoption Process & Important ConsiderationsSelf-Care for Parents and CaregiversSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adoption this year but concerned about how to swing the cost? Join us for a practical conversation about managing the expenses of adoption with Ryan Hanlon, PhD, former president of the National Council for Adoption, an adoption advocacy organization dedicated to research, education, and policy in the service of all members of the adoption community.In this episode, we discuss:How much can hopeful adoptive parents expect to pay for adoption? Domestic infant adoption? Adopting from foster care?International adoption?What do these expenses cover? Most hopeful adoptive families do not have access to large lump sums of $25,000 and upward. So, what are the different options they can pursue to help them afford an adoption?Adoption SubsidiesAdoption Grants/LoansAdoption Tax CreditWhat other methods are available to families to afford adoption? And can you explain the pros and cons of each so families can get a well-rounded view of

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: How do you deal with the emotions of not being able to adopt or foster because your husband doesn't share the desire?Resources:A Reluctant Spouse: When Only One Partner Wants to AdoptI Want to Adopt. My Partner Does Not.Creating a Family Online Support GroupSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adoption to create your family this year? We’ve got answers to all (or most) of your questions. Join our discussion with Molly Berger, MSW, who has been with the Adoption Center of Illinois for 12 years as an adoption social worker. She counts it an honor to work with adoptive families and expectant parents.In this episode, we discuss:Part 1: Domestic Infant Private Adoption in the USWhat is the process?What are the reasons that pregnant moms are placing their children for adoption?Explain the matching process. How do expectant parents find and choose adoptive parents?What is The Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC)?What is Open adoption? Why do expectant parents need to educate themselves about open adoption?What special needs are common in domestic infant adoptions?How long does it take? What factors influence this time?How much does it cost? What factors influence this cost?How do failed matches impact t

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Hello, thank you sincerely for your podcast and the work you do. It has helped me feel less alone and allowed me to better navigate foster parenting and adopting from foster care. My husband and I have two amazing boys; they have the same bio mom, and two older siblings each in a different family. Our youngest is 5. We met when he was 3 months. Our oldest is 8. We met when he was 3. He was removed at birth, then placed with his bio mom at 2 months, removed at 8 months, moved to a new foster family at 10 months, and placed with his legal father at 2.5. His bio mom took him illegally after a few months (with the legal father's consent). When he and his baby brother were removed and placed with us, he was sad and scared. We formally adopted our boys three years ago. He has grown into a beautiful, highly intelligent, and athletic boy. However, he has never accepted me as his mother. He refuses affection, pulls away, and looks at me w

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us to learn about family rituals—how to create and why they can help build strong families. Our guest will be Elizabeth Barbour, the author of a new book, Sacred Celebrations: Designing Rituals to Navigate Life’s Milestone Transitions. She’s also a reunited adoptee and an adoptive mom.In this episode, we discuss:Why are rituals important for families? Define the culture of family-this is who we areThis is what we doWhat’s the difference between rituals and routines?What’s the difference between rituals and habits?Examples of family rituals. Family meetings, kid/parent dates, game nightsgratitude practicesprayer and meditationfamily altarstravelvolunteering togetherWhen families are created through adoption, any specific rituals that can help them?TipsKeep it simpleGet input from all members of the familyConsistencySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We have been matched with an expectant mom due in a couple of months. She is having twins. As we are preparing for the next steps, sleep training has come up frequently in newborn care books. What research is there on the cry-it-out method or other popular sleep training methods in relation to adopted children? We want to make sure they know their needs will be met and build a strong adoption bond, but we also want to eventually work towards them being able to sleep through the night.Resources:Did Denmark Actually Ban "Cry it Out?"Video: The Attachment Cycle - Empowered to ConnectSleep Issues with Adopted, Foster, or Relative ChildrenBalancing Attachment with Getting SleepSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Cr

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you looking for practical ways to build your child's resilience and sense of safety, and to strengthen your family's connectedness? Listen to this conversation with Ginger Healy, MSW, LCSW, director of programs for the Attachment & Trauma Network and host of the podcast “Regulated and Relational.” Ginger speaks across the nation on trauma-informed schools, therapeutic parenting, and community engagement.In this episode, we discuss:What made you decide to write a book for educators?What were you observing about children’s needs around emotional language, self-regulation, and connection?Knowing that at home we often deal with a different rhythm, different dynamics (for example, one caregiver rather than teacher + many students), what initial advice do you have for parents and caregivers to translate this book’s classroom tools into a home context? Why is it essential that children learn social/emotional language — not just “feel

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I would love to hear about family profiles for adopting older teens. Resources:Adopting a Child of a Different Race or CultureAdopting Older KidsEvaluating Risk Factors in Foster Care AdoptionSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.What is it like to be the only biological child in a large transracial adoptive family? Our guest, Elaine Duncan, shares her story of how transcultural adoption impacted her identity and resilience. She is a writer, speaker, and strategist whose work bridges storytelling, healing, and social change. She has a passion for improving outcomes for underserved young people and is currently working on a memoir of her life journey.In this episode, we discuss: What did your home look like growing up, and what was it like for you to be the only biological child in a transracial/transcultural adoptive family?Families who adopt across race or culture often wonder how to bring all of those differences together under one roof. How did your family handle conversations about race, culture, and identity?  Were these things openly acknowledged, celebrated, or avoided?How did your parents support (or struggle to support) you in building your own sense of identit

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I have a friend whose 12-year-old adopted son (adopted at age 6) has been sexually abusing his younger siblings. She self-reported to CPS and law enforcement,  but they have not done a formal removal yet, and their solutions involved bringing the child back home or kinship (not an option). The offending child is currently in a temporary behavioral hospital, and a Refusal to Assume Parental Responsibility was opened on my friend because she will not pick him up, especially not until he receives specialized treatment for sexual aggression. The other children deserve a safe home to heal. Has anyone been through this before? If, after treatment, she still does not feel like it's in the children's best interest for him to return home, what are her options? Resources:Resources for Finding an Adoption-Competent TherapistGil Institute for Trauma Recovery & EducationHelping a Child Heal from Sexual AbuseSupport the showPlease lea