Christmas Creeps

It's Christmas in July here on Christmas Creeps, and you know what that means: It's Redboxing Day! This week the gang gets the whole office crunk on holiday schnapps and snickerdoodles and accidentally reinvents the internet through the power of awful jokes and zombie apocalypse plans. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

We've talked about it for ages, and with our 50th episode landing on the 4th of July, the time just felt right. We finally watched Santa Buddies. In this episode, Joe muses on the inherent holiday magic of an unlocked door, Brad spends an inordinate amount of time talking about JO crystals, and Johnny-5 does everything in his power to talk about literally anything other than Santa Buddies. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Stars and Stripes Forever (John Philip Sousa)

Father's Day forced us to scrap our planned episode, so instead Joe and Brad decided to talk about one of their favorite things: Video games! In this double-wide edition of Stocking Stuffers, we discuss "Koopa Claus" from the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, as well as the Sonic the Hedgehog special Sonic Christmas Blast! Thanks a lot, dad. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 Outro: Do the Mario (Captain Lou Albano)

With Alien: Covenant now in theaters, it's the perfect time to discuss Prometheus, Ridley Scott's 2012 prequel to the Alien franchise that may or may not actually be a Christmas film. Does a Christ allegory automatically make a film a Christmas film? Why do they take their helmets off on an alien planet? Where does this film fit in the Split Timeline theory? The answers to these questions and more in this week's episode! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

On this week's episode, the Creeps tackle one of the holidays' most ubiquitous movies, the Bing Crosby/Danny Kaye musical White Christmas. Along the way, we also go down rabbit holes related to Power Rangers, Jonathan's knowledge of America's train system, and the wackadoo madness Brad dreams about when he eats smoked salmon. And somewhere in all that, we actually discuss this 1954 classic. All in a day's work around these parts! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

HEEEEEY KIIIIIIDS! Pull out the lasagna and backscratchers, cuz this week's episode is all about the Garfield Christmas special! In this episode, we break down what's wrong with the Arbuckle clan, reminisce about our favorite Erik Estrada shows, Joe is diagnosed with a serious disorder, and we even see what happens when you remove Garfield from the equation entirely! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: "Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme" by Lou Rawls Outro: "Happy Christmas, You Guys!" (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Welcome back for the *thrilling* conclusion to Alf's Special Christmas. In this episode, Dr. Shumway delivers a baby, Alf Claus pulls both a Woody AND a Clarence, and Joe and Bradford find themselves baffled at a modern spin on the same puppety material. With so much maudlin promise in the first half of this special, is it any wonder that part 2 doesn't particularly stick the landing? Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

This week, Joe and Bradford tackle part one of Alf's Special Christmas, a two-part holiday special filmed on location at the gates of Hell. In learning about the themes and traditions of Christmas, puppet space alien Alf explains a hundred ways to cook a cat, discovers how to relate to dying children, and also teaches us the warning signs of suicidal behavior. It only gets worse before it gets better, so come on in! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

This week we took a random shot in the dark with Wild Card, a movie that looked like it might have been Christmas-related. Instead, we got a movie about Jason Statham beating up Las Vegas gangsters and playing a buttload of blackjack. Is there an important holiday message hidden inside? Does the glitz and glamour of Sin City warm Milo Ventimiglia's icy gangster heart? Or is it all just an excuse to have Statham beat dudes senseless to the soothing sounds of "White Christmas"? Tune in to find out! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

On this edition of Stocking Stuffers, Joe and Bradford dip into the madcap holiday antics of Ed Edd'n Eddy in their first holiday special: "Jingle Jingle Jangle". How hard is it to be selfless at Christmas? Why are everyone's own holiday customs so weird? How many Yuletide puns can one cartoon reasonably stand? Listen in and find out! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Happy Redboxing Day, gang! It's that magical time of year when all of last year's Christmas movies are now popping up in your local DVD dispensers! This week, we stall for as long as we can to keep from discussing the bleak comedy wasteland that is Bad Santa 2. Why bring back Bad Santa now? Who asked for a man-sized Thurman Merman? How does Willie keep getting laid? Find out in this week's episode! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Stocking Stuffers are bite-sized shows dedicated to holiday episodes of your favorite TV shows! In our first episode, Joe and Bradford discuss the King of the Hill season two episode "The Unbearable Blindness of Laying". Enjoy! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Gather around the dining table, friends! This week, guest Drew Meyer joins us to have a surprisingly level-headed conversation about the 1994 Denis Leary/Kevin Spacey comedy The Ref. What was meant to be a shorter episode spins out of control as we keep finding little details that demand to be discussed. From the screenwriting craft to the mid-90s suburban malaise, The Ref is full of fun little cinematic surprises. Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Crappy New Year, everybody! We're kicking off 2017 with a desperate plea to the heavens to save us from this garbage planet. Instead, the heavens delivered A Cosmic Christmas, a Canadian holiday special from 1977 about aliens seeking the true meaning of Christmas. Hold onto your geese, folks, cuz shit's about to get cosmic! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Merry Christmas, dear listeners! This year, we splurged and got you a jumbo-sized episode about everyone's favorite Tim Allen Christmas movie! Bradford joins us once again to pick apart the kid-friendly irony-laden body horror of The Santa Clause! Also, we open the floor to listener questions and take a look back over our podcast year. Thanks for listening, gang. We'll see you in the new year! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: I'll Be Home for Christmas (Bing Crosby) Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

We’re doing something a little bit different this week. Instead of ripping apart one Christmas movie, we hopped into the old front-wheel drive sleigh and rode around town ogling Christmas lights, discussing traditional holiday pageants, and cracking wise about the Elf on the Shelf. In the show’s second half, we preview some of the shenanigans we have planned for next year! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Happy Thanksgiving, gang! We asked our Twitter followers to vote on what we should watch next. After a behind-the-scenes tiebreaker, democracy has spoken. The winner? National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure. The losers? All three of us. How dumb do you have to be to lose a job to a chimp? Why does mid-30s Audrey Griswold still act like a emotionally stunted teen? How old is too old to be listening to 311? The answers to these questions and more in this week's episode! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Election 2016 is all wrapped up, and this week our hosts seek solace in the sweet nectar of holiday beers. Also, we're discussing everyone's favorite holiday classic: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. The results of last episode's listener poll are still very much pending, so don't think we've thrown that out just yet. Think of this as an emergency episode in a time of crisis. Anyway, this week we discuss the election, the sad backstory of Cousin Eddie, and Christmas Creep at Walt Disney World! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro: Christmastime in Hell (Trey Parker) Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Happy Halloween, Creepazoids! Once again, we're going Home for the Horrordays, with Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman! How does a killer snowman traverse a tropical island? What does snowman-related PTSD look like? Will Captain Fun step up to the challenge and save the day? How many Phantom Menace references can we cram into a single episode? The answers to these questions and more as Joe and Johnny-5 discuss Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

Welcome back, Creepazoids! It's October now, and our old buddy Bradford returns to help us ring in the Horrordays! This week, we're discussing Ron Howard's 2000 fever dream of a live-action Grinch film starring Jim Carrey! Also, Joe shares a recent tale of body horror, the gang reels in terror at the Grinch's secret origin story, and Johnny-5 tries his hardest to break Bradford with the power of Benedict Cumberbatch. Buckle up, gang, cuz the sun is shinin' and the powder's bitchin'! Questions/Comments? Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.comTweet us @ChristmasCreepsVisit us on the web at ChristmasCreeps.com! Intro/Outro: Happy Christmas, You Guys! (Simon Panrucker) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0