Zen Parenting Radio

Todd and Cathy discuss their experience with the documentary Stutz by Jonah Hill and why developing life force energy is the first step toward any problem. They also discuss the importance of seeing clearly, how to deal with Part X, and why the movie Apollo 13 was an invitation to see and understand each other better.

Todd and Cathy discuss how and why our kids trigger us, and how to lessen our reactivity and reframe our experiences. They also discuss the importance of gratitude and why we should learn to ride the waves and roll with the changes.

Todd and Cathy discuss Michael Singer’s The Untethered Soul, specifically what it means to manage our “thorns” or inner pain that we react to our do our best to avoid. They discuss the paradoxical nature of life and uncertainty, and how our goal is to manage discomfort, not runaway or avoid. They share some of their mindfulness tools and a new definition of enlightenment.

Cathy and Todd discuss how to help our kids discover intrinsic motivation (internally motivated because it feels good and right) instead of extrinsic motivation (external rewards such as grades, praise, fame). They also discuss MenConnect, a solution to the epidemic of lonely men, and how to make mornings calmer and more collaborative.

Todd and Cathy do a deep dive into the five essential parenting practices that Cathy shared in her Zen Parenting Moment Newsletter last Friday. They share how these practices create connection and meaning in the home and beyond.

Cathy and Todd discuss the importance of teaching both values AND safety, and why they work together to create an optimal environment for you kids. They also discuss the top 15 best parenting role models from pop culture and what made them so successful (a few are debatable…).

Cathy and Todd discuss taking responsibility without blaming ourselves for everything that happens. They discuss how certain self-help books, groups, and cults have the power to convince people that they are “at cause” for everything that happens, negating how outside influences also play a role in eventual outcomes. They discuss the difference between reaction and response, why emotions like anger and envy can be helpful, and of course, Taylor Swift’s new album, Midnights.

Cathy and Todd discuss codependency, enmeshment, overidentification, and other issues that can be layered and difficult to define. They share the importance of learning to say no, why boundaries are important in every relationship, and how paying attention and questioning can become a daily habit.

Todd and Cathy are interviewed by their friend Dr. Alexandra Solomon.  She ask them about how they met, their history, and the trials and tribulations of their couple hood.  

Todd and Cathy discuss John & Julie Gottman’s research around “bids for connection”, specifically how couples who acknowledge each other’s bids 86% of the time stay married and connected. They also discuss how music and pop culture helps us connect to our kids, and why acknowledging each other’s texts makes a big difference.

Todd and Cathy discuss the practice of gratitude (specifically how to notice, savor, and express) and how it helps the brain pay attention to what’s working. They discuss the four noble truths, appreciating people’s quirks, and songs named after the bands that sing them.

Cathy and Todd discuss the wisdom of anxiety and why it’s a messaging system that reminds us to stay curious about ourselves and our loved ones. They process the difference between relieving and numbing anxiety, and how “healing” anxiety can involve getting to the core of our unconscious concerns and worries.

Cathy and Todd talk with Sarah Edmonson and Anthony “Nippy” Ames from A Little Bit Culty Podcast and HBO’s Documentary The Vow. They discuss how we can recognize cultish influence all around us - in the way we use language and jargon, in our communities and groups, and of course, our politics -- none of us are completely immune to it. Those of us who consider ourselves seekers – or those of us who consider ourselves teachers, coaches, or healers – can pay attention to how power can distort, how a certain status, belief or community can make us feel more special than others. As parents we need to talk to our kids about this, how a relationship can initially feel good, but then become abusive, how we can slowly be pulled into something that initially feels cool, but then becomes uncomfortable – and most important, how we can teach our kids to question what doesn’t feel right, ask for help, and build a relationship with them where they know we are available to listen and support. Cathy shares how important Sarah

Todd and Cathy discuss Loretta Ross’ 2021 TED Talk titled Don’t Call People Out, Call Them In, about how the most effective activism begins with conversation, connection, and curiosity. They discuss how this applies to partnership and parenting, and how reactiveness and righteousness can get in the way of growth and change.

Cathy and Todd discuss several conversations that were prompted by the We Can Do Hard Things podcast titled “Why are there no pictures of us?!?!”. They share how they communicate through nuanced and challenging conversations, and how to speak up while also respecting your partner’s perspective. They offer examples of difficult discussions and what lives underneath the discomfort.

Todd and Cathy discuss the grief and joy of back to school, and why they are memorable moments in time. Todd helps Cathy process through why this time of year is especially hard, and they discuss all the personas and running tapes that live inside of us and want to be heard. They also discuss why it’s important to be gentle with ourselves and how doing our “best” can mean something different every day.

Todd and Cathy discuss why it’s important for dads to practice feeling so their kids come to them with their pain and big emotions. They discuss why dads think moms are just “better” at feeling, and how kids can develop a trusted relationship, regardless of gender, if they feel seen and heard. They also discuss the importance of integrity and how we can use baseball stats to better understand our parenting.

Cathy and Todd discuss Adam Grant’s research around why humans are fascinating, especially when it comes to parenting and partnership. They also discuss why optimism is essential and the beer-drinking games people play.

Cathy and Todd discuss how to “practice” peace through embracing our anger and how gender can play a role in how we experience anger. They also discuss how they differ in their driving choices and how making decisions that make you feel peaceful are the best approach.

Todd and Cathy talked with Dr. Dan Peters, psychologist, author, and host of the Parent Footprint Podcast. They discussed the difference between anxiety, fear, and worry, how to identify “paper” tigers, and how to talk to our kids about real world threats and safety.