Zen Parenting Radio

Cathy and Todd discuss how to see this school year differently and how to accept and reframe our experiences. They discuss how figuring out something new will take time and patience (and self-care), and how children will learn a lot about self-regulation and how to go with the flow in a new system of learning.

Todd and Cathy discuss intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation for kids, and discuss the harm of unachievable success in the documentary The Weight of Gold (about Olympic athletes) and The Go Go’s documentary (about the rise and fall of the band). They also discuss the true and false self, and the “Three Lords of Materialism” (coined by Chögyam Trungpa in his book Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism) and how they relate to our perception of success and motivation.

Cathy and Todd discuss why understanding ambiguous loss, the dignity of others, and the humanity of teachers is essential as we navigate a back to school plan. This uncertain time necessitates reflective and respectful discourse, and a reminder that our kids are looking to us as role models in how to respond to a difficult and unprecedented event.

Cathy and Todd discuss managing screen time by investigating the Eightfold Path (8 practices that serve as a framework in Buddhist philosophy). The practice can help us relate to screen time (and everything else) differently and shift how we relate to our children when it comes to technology. #2 of a two-part series.

Cathy and Todd discuss managing screen time by investigating the Eightfold Path (8 practices that serve as a framework in Buddhist philosophy). The practice can help us relate to screen time (and everything else) differently and shift how we relate to our children when it comes to technology. #1 of a two-part series.

Cathy and Todd discuss John Oliver's Last Week Tonight episode about conspiracy theories, and share the psychology behind why people believe tend to believe them. We also discuss how to have productive conversations with people who share and promote harmful pandemic theories.

Cathy and Todd discuss why building a strong foundation can get us through difficultly and uncertainty, and help us recognize what’s most important in crisis and calmer times. They share what a “strong foundation” looks like and why it’s an everyday practice. They discuss Eckhart Tolle, Richard Rohr, and why dark helps us understand the light (and vice versa).

Todd and Cathy discuss why connection necessitates letting go of needing and focusing more on understanding. They share a story of connecting with their daughter and why knowing her well was the key to engagement.

Cathy and Todd discuss the Zen parable about the monkey in the river and why it teaches us to find the aliveness of every moment, even if we are afraid or uncertain. They offer examples and analogies from The Karate Kid, Parenthood, Dead Poets Society and even High School Musical. They also discuss the importance of staying educated and continuing to integrate discussions about race into our parenting, and why we need to WEAR MASKS and demonstrate our care for each other and our communities.

Cathy and Todd discuss how self-care is about building a life that you don’t need to escape from – by speaking up, asking for what you need, resting, and interacting with integrity. They discuss how we can practice this in partnership and parenting, and when we are discussing and learning about difficult issues like race. They also discuss what makes a great song and share some of their picks.

Cathy and Todd discuss how self-awareness, vulnerability, and a willingness to listen upfront lead to authentic and connected conversations later. They discuss how this applies to race discussions, partnership, and parenting, and how cognitive dissonance and whataboutism get in the way of meaningful and productive communication. They reference So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo, Brene Brown’s podcast with the Duplass brothers, and White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo.

Cathy and Todd discuss how spiritual bypassing (the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our painful feelings) can run counter to being a listener and learner when it comes to race. They discuss how spiritual bypassing has become normalized and separates us from the issues we need to work through when it comes to social justice, partnerships, parenting, or our own growth and development.

Todd and Cathy discuss the protests and why self-awareness and being a student are essential when talking about race. They share who they learn from, why we need to speak up, and why dismantling racism in ourselves is necessary, difficult, and uncomfortable.

Todd and Cathy discuss some of the questions from this New York Times article titled The 36 Questions That Lead to Love

Todd and Cathy discuss the highlights of a Freakonomics podcast titled Reasons to Be Cheerful as well as The Goop Podcast titled The Culture of Busyness.  Some of the topics discussed were the negativity bias, loss aversion, and getting out of the way so our kids can become the people they are supposed to be.  

Todd and Cathy interview Jim Dethmer from the Conscious Leadership Group.  They discuss the difference between the content (what is happening) of our lives and the context (from what energy are we dealing with what is happening.  They also talk about the universe, death, toddlers, weed, and body intelligence in this real world example when Cathy and Todd's 12 year old daughter interrupts the interview. 

Todd and Cathy discuss what it means to experience messy and how messy, but necessary, conversations can cause discomfort and uncertainty. They discuss why others are not always bad or wrong, and how we can see the nuance and grey in every situation. They discuss how enlightening or self-aware moments can look different for everybody, and how a Good Will Hunting moment isn’t the only example of catharsis.

Cathy and Todd discuss why hitting a wall is to be expected, and why it’s not a failure, it’s a recalibration. They discuss what walls can teach us and why adaptation and pivoting are important now, and after, the pandemic. They discuss why all feelings are acceptable, and why if we can be specific about what we are feeling, we will have an easier time moving through it.

Cathy+Todd discuss Walt Whitman’s poem This is what you shall do and discuss how his wisdom is relevant today. The discuss what it means to “dismiss whatever insults your soul”, and why this relates to us globally and in our own families. They also share lessons from The Little Rascals and Dead Poets Society.

Cathy and Todd discuss how we judge our own feelings and then instead of self-regulating, we get lost in a cycle of emotions. They discuss Mark Brackett’s book Permission to Feel, and his interview on Brenè Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast. They also share some ways we can monitor our emotions and show up for our kids, partners, and world in a more compassionate way.