An Earful Of Convoy/cocktail

Haskins, Haskins! Here comes Haskins! And here comes Earful of Convoy: ep 16! As Duck and Melissa finally consummate their relationship, the Earful crew disambiguates Carousels from Merry-Go-Rounds, picks apart anniversary gifts, and empathizes with the political mobs of Trucker Heaven. Comes complete with our long-awaited analysis of "Around the World with the Rubber Duck"!

We enter the episode 1 AD (after Dog Brothers) by journeying through Truckers' Heaven and Truckers' Hell in order to bring you these lacklustre five minutes. Kris Kristofferson performs lazy improv (????), Dirty Lyle navigates a harried timeline off-screen, and the governor's staff stands around looking evil. We elide 60 pages of terrible Pageful, discuss a deleted scene in "Darlene2Darlene", and experiment by performing some fun new music, live on air.

We interview the Dog Brothers.

In this episode, subtitled "The Education of Chuck Arnoldi", we bring you the latest in celebrity net worth, hypothesize what Convoy would be like without Melissa (not much difference), and even find time for our favorite segment, "Looking Up Things on Wikipedia." The real treasure here is Exhibit A, the interview with the Dog Brothers, which is roaring up your podcast feed right now. So listen in: we won't talk to you like a child.

Much in the manner of Kvothe's search for blue fire, the Earful gang rolls up into the second hour of Convoy in search of truth in this exciting Monday episode. And much in the manner of Kvothe enacting justice againsts schoolmate Ambrose by summoning the wind (after first learning its name), the Earful gang summons the Dog Brothers by writing an email to the Dog Brothers in the hit segment "We Write an Email to the Dog Brothers." And much in the manner of Kvothe's dogged research questioning all that humanity knows about the nature of the Chandrian, the Earful gang questions everything about Convoy in this veritable "Episode of Questions". Tune in, drop out, and Pull a Kvothe yourself! (ding)

We check the audio fidelity so you don't have to.

Wellcome Beecham Beckham! In this episode of Earful of Convoy, feuds become final, Rubber Duck becomes explosive, and we answer some of the tough questions: What is the difference between binary and binary-encoded decimal? What is the difference between a majority, a super-majority, and a plurality? Can we read the phase diagram for nitromannite? Did we manage to snag a ticket for the last performance of the marvelous "Hamilton" by that magnificent bard, Lin-Manuel Miranda? And just how much IS that doggie in the window? Featuring the famous new segment "With Fresh Eyes".

An embarrassment of riches in this jam-packed episode: a bonus Kristofferson movie (Semi-Tough), real-life audio clips of our arch-nemeses (the Dog Brothers), and of course two solid hours of Alan and Hervey's patented "Convoy-Analysis". Shall thou put the pedal to the metal? Is the Duck keeping the Sabbath holy? We consult the bible for clues! But more importantly, a new verse from C.W. McCall emerges, and His Words are parsed with care. The weight of pedals, applicability of federal law, fish costume updates from RD himself, titular bears in the air, and a special guest. It's feuding time!

Some Vengaboys analysis leads this very special episode of Earful of Convoy; as Lyle gets the perfect squeeze, we talk physics, analyze figs, and pick apart IMDB-alleged 'gay references'. But that's not all-- McDonalds slogans galore, and we employ email to answer the Fish Costumes questions you all want to know. And taking the Dog Brothers to task-- yes! A podcoy about nothing? I think not!

For those who found our podcast by checking the top search results for "convoy podcast" on DuckDuckGo, welcome to this happy place! Sad news today about the Princess, but we power on as Duck and the rest of the convoy powers on through a veritable dust bowl. Hosts Hervey and Alan are possibly caked up as they struggle to distinguish Pomp and Circumstance from La Marseillaise. Slightly more coherent dialogue about Convoy's role as an exploration of masculinity in the late '70s; Radcliffe girls will find much to like.

A few teeth less, but five minutes more! The Krafty Konvoy Krew put down their book, man, and meet Bob Bookman, a certain police officer who Hates Truckers. Siding against him, the radio crew recaps the thrills and spills, and Holy Jumpers!, there are plenty. Billboards, bears, and Bookmen, what more kould Konvoy (k)fans (k)want?

Time to break out your reading glasses! The paperback for Convoy ("the biggest book ever") has arrived, and you know what that means... Pageful of Convoy time! Duck is offering coffee to Melissa, as Dirty Lyle drives angrily for quite a while. This super-sized ep features cameos from Pizza Hut, Kate Middleton, Old Iguana, and a great deal on 22 liters of shells, and we have screenwriter B.W.L. Norton (in book form) to help us decode it all! And speaking of shells, Hervey has a bombshell that may change the way you view birthday boy Rubber Duck forever. Also featuring hit gameshow Guess the Pagecount!

Time to hit the reset button! The masters of the "Sync", Hervey and Alan, do the ol' time warp again, and remap the very boundaries of time itself! That is to say, they upgrade a poor-quality DVD to a high-quality Blu-Ray, and the time-stamp discrepancies are illuminating! We talk commentary tracks, what Sam would have wanted, and do a blow-by-blow for last week's fight that is boring beyond words!

Calling all brawlers! We dive into the fist-scraping underworld of truckstop dust-ups. Rubber Duck and gang don't like to fight, but will do it if a certain Dirty Lyle baits them! And we don't like to fight about discussing the movie Convoy, but we will if disagreements arise in our movie analysis and we can't agree to disagree! Get ready for the most INVIGORATING five minutes you'll spend this side of Gatorade!

Alan and Hervey hit a disagreement: Alan thinks these five minutes are really boring, and Hervey thinks its #totallyonfleek. Birthday boy Rubber Duck has a certain Violet in the back of his cab, and Dirty Lyle is being called bad names over a CB radio (for some reason). We discuss the logic of Love Machine/Pigpen and Spider Mike's decision, and more. Hashtag spoiler alert!

We continue on to the third five minutes, and Convoy happenings abound! Join us as we run into a Bear in the Air, and discuss the cost of repairing a Jaguar XKE. Rubber Duck and gang are holed up at a diner, but that doesn't mean that you need to be!

We do our first live show, and what else is there to discuss than the second five minutes! Rubber Duck gets himself in a bit of a jam, and there may be a Cottonmouth to blame (!) Alan and Hervey check in with the goof squad and give practical advice on dealing with rattlesnakes.

Earful fans rejoice! Rubber Duck sees everything (and we mean EVERYTHING), and we see everything... of the first five minutes of Sam Peckinpah's Convoy. What is a Convoy? What is a Truck? Webster's has some answers. Ins-and-outs of Rubber Duck's cross-country travels are discussed. IT ALL STARTS HERE