Sex With Emily

Do you fake orgasms? Be honest. Whether we feel pressured to end the sexual experience, or simply don’t know how to orgasm with a partner, faking it is common for every gender and orientation.  So on today’s episode, we discuss how to hold out for the real thing while also restoring your sex life. What do you do when it’s not just your orgasm that’s gone missing, but your entire sex life? Or how about when it's physical pain holding you back from having more pleasure? I’ll help callers with these questions and others as we embark on a mission to get you back to orgasming and back to a more pleasurable sex life. Show Notes: How Do I Tell My Partner I've Been Faking Orgasms? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What’s your sex language? We all have one. And once we’re fluent in the four types, we can expand our repertoire to more effectively please our partner – and advocate for what we want. In today’s episode, we will explore just that with psychologist and astrologer Jen Freed. Her forthcoming book “A Map to Your Soul: Using the Astrology of Fire, Earth, Air, and Water to Live Deeply and Fully” explains how these elements relate to the type of sex we want and how to create an erotic field with our partner. Dr. Freed offers a formula for alchemizing amazing sex by combining the principles of psychology and astrology, along with curious communication.  Show Notes: Is Casual Sex Right For You? Pre-order A Map to Your Soul More Jen Freed: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Website Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dating as an adult is exhausting. While experience comes with age, actually applying that experience is easier said than done…even for professionals.  With me today are two therapy professionals who also happen to be partners: John Kim and Vanessa Bennett. Their book “It’s Not Me, It’s You” offers an anecdotal road map of how to “relationship better,” from overcoming commitment issues, to fanning the sex flames, to breaking the blame cycle. John and Vanessa expertly dissect their own relationship to inspire us to create healthy bonds with the people we love. Listen to learn why “the one” is a myth, how to wean ourselves off codependency and how to replace obligatory sex with erotic collaboration. Show Notes: More John Kim: Instagram | Twitter | Website More Vanessa Bennett: Instagram | Website | Podcast Pegging 101: How to try strap-on Sex Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To peg, or not to peg? That’s the question we’re going to push into today… and yes, pun intended. Pegging, which typically involves a penis owner being penetrated through the use of a strap-on dildo by a vulva owner, seems to be more popular than ever.  But arguably more than other forms of pleasure, strap on sex challenges the way we think about masculinity, femininity and heteronormative pleasure. Role reversal and anal play require a great deal of trust, empathy and vulnerability. But if partners can work through these challenges, the payoff can be immense. And that’s why on today’s episode, I want to explore not just the steps partners should take to responsibly explore strap on intercourse, but also how the benefits can go way beyond the bedroom. Show Notes: Do’s and Dont’s of Anal Sex How to Find The Best Lube For You Savage Love by Dan Savage Best Sex Toys for Couples Harnesses and Anal-Safe Dildos from Good Vibrations  Ask Emily: My Partner Is Friendly With Other Guys Hosted on Acast. See acas

How can you be bold in the bedroom? I’ve got the boldness queen herself, Jen Cohen of the “Habits & Hustle” podcast, to tell us how to design the life you actually want — including, of course, your sex life. Jen explains the 10% Target Mindset, the difference between what you want and what you need when it comes to sexual partners, how to build better intimacy habits, and how to normalize failure so that you take more risks. That’s where boldness comes in: to identify what you want, and be brave enough to work for it. Show Notes: Jen Cohen TED Talk Falling Forward by Jen Cohen Website Instagram “Habits & Hustle” podcast Embodied is the New Sexy: 5 Benefits of Living A Radically Embodied Life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a sexually fluid relationship? As in, you and your partner discuss bisexuality openly…either yours, theirs, or both? What about having multiple partners? Or trying a threesome together? Are these possibilities you’d consider, or are you like: NO THANK U, NEXT!  Well on today’s best-of show, I’ve got two individuals who can tell you exactly what it’s like to be in a successful, alternative relationship. First you’ll hear from actor/model Nico Tortorella on navigating bisexuality, how sex changed once they got sober, and what it’s like for them to fall for someone outside of their primary partnership.  Next, you’ll hear from MMA fighter, fellow podcaster and Aussie fan fave Jason Ellis on how he and his fiance (now wife) conduct a radically open relationship, why he’s thrilled for another man to give her sexual pleasure, and his best recommendations for your first threesome. Come for the open minds, stay for the sex tips.  Show Notes: Where is the Clitoris?

Casual sex gets a bad rap. We associate it with hookup culture, with disposability, with mindless Tinder swipes. But it doesn’t have to be that way: when approached with an intentional, conscious mindset, casual sex can be exactly what you need to feel erotic and energized again. The key? Knowing yourself – and knowing precisely what you want to get out of your casual sex experience.  On today’s show, I parse out all the different types of casual sex out there, and offer some research that may surprise you. Next, I discuss how you know if casual sex is right for you, and when it’s best to say, “no thank you.” Finally, I coach you on how to make your casual sex encounters fulfilling, with maturity, self-awareness, and of course – an orgasm or two. Or ten.  Show Notes: 7 Myths of Non Monogamy Friends With Benefits: A Guide Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What’s holding you back in bed? We’ve all got our pain points: body image, not being able to tell your partner what you want, feeling embarrassed to make noise or express yourself. But I asked you how you overcame sexual insecurities, and you came back with SOLID advice. So on today’s show, along with my advice, we’re spreading the sexual confidence gospel using tips from the Sex With Emily community. First, we get into body image: how to hack your brain to feel more comfortable in your skin. Next, I talk about my favorite subject: communicating with your partner, to create a culture of sex positivity. Finally, I’ve got a particularly juicy tip to help you let go in bed and express yourself without inhibition — to hear it, just take a listen to this episode. Show Notes: Ask Emily: My Partner Watches Porn a LIttle Too Enthusiastically Feeld Fet Life First Date, First Orgasm, First Threesome  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you build a sex room, they will come. That’s the idea behind the new Netflix show “How to Build a Sex Room,” and on today’s episode I’ve got designer Melanie Rose here with me to discuss her real-life erotic renovations. From a rock n’ roll dungeon to a high-end sex spa, Melanie has all kinds of decor ideas you can steal: spanking benches, wall-mounted handcuffs, soundproofing wall art. All of these are client-approved sex innovations, but the show has a touching side too. You get to see all kinds of clients, from suburbanites to polycules, parents to long-distance couples, discuss their fantasies and sexual desires – some of them for the very first time. And you know I’m all about that.  Show Notes: For More Melanie Rose: Netflix show | Instagram | Website | Pinterest  Where is The Clitoris? Liberator Throw Blanket Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let’s get sexually adventurous, people. On today’s hotline calls show, you’re bringing the novelty, and I am one hundred percent here for it.  Jumping right in: can you use the same sex toy with multiple partners? Let’s find out. If you’re in your 20s and hooking up with a much older woman, is that ok? Or what if you’re all about female empowerment, except you ARE a female, and you DO want to be choked and spanked in bed? Finally: there’s a first time for everything, so should you tell a partner that you’ve never had penetration before? Or what if you’re married, and ready to experience your first open relationship – except your spouse isn’t on-board? All this and more on a particularly juicy hotline calls show. Show Notes: Shop Page  Vesper Vibrator Necklace Bellesa Sex, Porn & (Erika) Lust  No Shame, Just Sex w/ Erin Tillman  Opening Up by Tristan Taormino The Ethical Slut Open Deeply  It’s Open (Relationship) Season w/ Dr. Wednesday Martin Orgasms & Oral (No Penetration Required) First Date, Fir

Gotta love relationship advice delivered in a thick New York accent. I’ve got Adam Ferrara on the show today, and we’re healing your emotional triggers so you can have thriving interpersonal connections. Capiche?  Adam and I talk meditation and breathwork for anxiety, the difference between responding and reacting to your partner, how to cultivate a felt sense of your emotions, and the difference between worry and responsibility. As a self-described co-dependent, Catholic Italian, Adam is as real as it gets about getting vulnerable and doing self-work, so you can experience better love, sex, and communication. We also help a caller in her 20s get more selfish in the bedroom – because when it comes to sex, selfishness can be a real virtue.  Show Notes: More Adam Ferrara: Youtube Comedy Special | Website | Instagram | Twitter | Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let’s talk about non-monogamy! In the nearly two decades since I’ve been doing the show, I’ve never gotten so much interest in this topic as I am right now. Which is why I’m joined today by cultural anthropologist Dr. Wednesday Martin, who in addition to researching non-monogamy for her books and articles, has first-hand experience opening up her own marriage.  On today’s episode, Wednesday reveals what modern sex research shows about female sexuality and long-term, monogamous relationships: a woman’s desire typically wanes between year 1 to 4. In addition, Wednesday and I discuss the difference between non-monogamy, swinging and polyamory, how to go about finding a partner outside of your primary relationship, how to set rules, and the surprising ways opening up improved her own partnership.  Show Notes: More Wednesday Martin: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube Untrue by Wednesday Martin 7 Myths of Non-Monogamy Feeld Opening Up by Tristan Taormino Open Monogamy: A Guide to Co-Creating Your Ideal

Have you ever tried anal play? Anal sex? Because if not, here’s my question to you…what’s holding you back? For most folks, the answer is fear. We’re scared it will hurt, scared that we don’t know what we’re doing, scared we’ll feel ashamed if we just so happen to love it. That’s why I’ve got two of the anal pleasure experts on the show today, to help demystify and destigmatize anal play, and help you open up yet another pathway to pleasure. Dr. Evan Goldstein and Alicia Sinclair talk to me about anal orgasms (not a myth), the importance of anal training, how to prepare hygienically, and how to strengthen the mind-booty connection for a successful, erotic anal experience.  Show Notes: Anal Play: A Beginner's Guide OR Prostate Play 101 More Evan Goldstein: Website | Instagram | Bespoke Surgical | Future Method More B-vibe: Website | Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’ve never talked about your sex life with your partner before, there’s a good chance they’ll push back. Why? Because most of us go into fight or flight mode when talking about sex: it’s not normalized in our culture, we get defensive, we feel like we’re being criticized. But never fear – you can create a culture of sex communication in your relationship, one talk at a time. Be the change, is what I’m saying. On today’s hotline show, I take your calls about having a sex talk. Like: telling your wife you want her to massage your prostate. Or telling a partner you want your vanilla sex to be a little spicier. How to relax into oral and give your partner tips to make you scream, and how to tell your partner: “you know what? I need to be seduced a little before we jump into penetration.” If we can talk about sex like we talk about dinner, everyone wins! So take a listen to this episode, and see if your next sex talk isn’t a little bit easier.  Show Notes: Embodied is The New Sexy: 5 Benefits of Living a Rad

Do you always have sex on the the first date? Do you always swipe right on people who aren’t good for you? What are your bad dating habits – and how can you break them? I asked you to tell me what negative dating patterns you’re trying to change, and you all delivered! On today’s show, I’m addressing your top dating problems so we can solve them together. Having sex too soon, trying to “fix” less-than-ideal partners, fear of asserting yourself, having misaligned expectations, the tendency to audition people for the role of life partner – we’re covering it all, so you can feel empowered with new partners and have an amazing time with existing partners.  Show Notes: Ask Emily: Tips for French Kissing  Am I Dating a Narcissist? w/ Dr Ramani How to Not Die Alone w/ Logan Ury Orgasms and Oral (No Penetration Required)  More About EMDR Therapy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When it comes to sex, why was the world set up so that vulva owners are the ones in charge of preventing a pregnancy? That’s the central question of a Twitter thread that went viral in 2018, and on today’s show I’ve got Gabrielle Stanley Blair, the author of that thread – and a forthcoming book, Ejaculate Responsibly – here to talk about it. I’m also joined by anthropologist, author, and my dear friend Dr. Wednesday Martin, to unpack this fascinating topic.  In a post-Roe world, Gabrielle is calling for a wholesale shift in the way we think about pregnancy prevention: namely, by inviting penis owners and their bodies into the conversation. On today’s show, we talk condoms and sexual pleasure, how society pressures vulva owners to become mothers, how to talk to young men about ejaculating responsibly, why MORE sex ed leads to LESS unwanted pregnancies, and why Gabrielle – mother of six and a Mormon – is passionate about arguing that women’s lives matter, and so does their pleasure.  One more thing: Can pre-eja

Anxiety, depression and low self-worth all block our sexual pleasure. But on a more fundamental level, they block us from showing up in the world the way we’d like: as confident, happy, sexy people. That’s why I invited my own therapist, Dr. Anadel Barbour, to talk to us through healing those intrusive thoughts. If you’re ready, your internal work starts today.  On this best-of episode, Dr. Barbour and I discuss EMDR therapy, the four foundations of mindfulness, how to physically move through trauma, healing shame, and how to know if you’re in constant fight or flight. We also touch on sex and pain, and mindfulness in and out of the bedroom. If you’ve ever considered therapy but are on the fence about it, I hope this episode gives you some encouragement – because healing emotional wounds can truly transform your sex life. Show Notes: More Dr Anadel Barbour: Website | Instagram | Twitter  Sex In Sobriety by Dr Anadel Barbour More About EMDR Therapy Overcoming 4 Common Sex Fears Hosted on Acast. See ac

Ah, weddings. So ceremonial. So floral. After two years of postponements and cancellations, IRL weddings are back – but are all those newlyweds talking about their sex life? They probably should be!  Married sex is full of tired, toxic cliches that I’m personally ready to bust. We don’t have to settle for absent or boring sex as we grow old together. So on today’s episode, I’m making the case for writing your sex vows before you walk down the aisle, helping you recreate honeymoon sex if you’ve been married for ages, and giving you a lay of the land culturally-speaking on how we’re thinking about sex and relationships now. Plus, I take your questions: how to navigate bisexuality in a straight marriage, what it means if you find yourself jealous at your friend’s weddings and how to bring back the spark…when the spark was a little dim in the first place.  Show Notes: Ask Emily: Tips for French Kissing  The Yes No Maybe List The Pleasure Planner Hinge Bumble Feeld #Open FetLife Skirt Club  Hosted on

What cultural or religious programming do you have around sex? Even if you didn’t grow up in a church, sexual shame is – in so many ways – the air we breathe. But here’s the reality: you didn’t put those thoughts there. Someone else did. And on today’s show with guest Erin Tillman, we’re calling out those judgmental messages, and choosing the sex messaging that actually serves us. The result? A radically more authentic, more liberated sex life. As an inclusive dating coach, Erin is no stranger to shame – and she’s heard it all from her clients. Whether it was that one rude thing a partner said that haunted you for years, or a parent that told you masturbation was dirty, shame love to hide in the shadows…and hold you back in the bedroom. So on today’s show, Erin and I talk about how we healed our own sexual shame, dropped performative sex, and got comfortable with the word “no.” You’ll also learn the difference between “no” and “not yet” when it comes to dating, how to make good choices on dating apps, and how

It’s a good time to expand our definition of sex. At the end of the day, sex is play for adults: it’s where we collaborate with another person, creating a momentary world of pleasure and eroticism with them. But so often, we assume that sex equals penetration, and here’s the problem with that: not everyone orgasms during penetration. Not everyone feels erotic during penetration! So let’s make sex more interesting and exploratory, shall we? On today’s show, I’m talking up all the different types of non-penetrative sex – like mutual masturbation, sensual massage, toys, hand stuff – to help you break out of a conventional sex script, and have sex that’s more tailored to your personality and desires. Because you never have to take penetration off the table entirely…but what would happen if you took it off the table for a little while? (Hint: probably more orgasms.)  Show Notes: Prostate Play 101 Want to Try a Sex Cleanse?  Penis Problems, Solved  Shop with Emily 4 Ways to Close The Orgasm Gap First Date, Fi