Sex With Emily

Sexual fantasies give us a window into what we need: a type of touch, a type of power, or even a type of person. But what if you’re one of those people who’s like: “I don’t know how to fantasize, Emily?” Then look no further than sex educator and author of Curvy Girl Sex Elle Chase. Elle joins me to talk about cultivating your erotic daydreams, what your fantasies say about your desire style, and how to turn a common fantasy into a reality: finding a friend with benefits.   Plus, we take your questions! How to respond to a partner who desperately wants to watch you have sex with another (but you’re not so into it), what to say to a partner who thinks butts are gross, how to talk about your kink to a new partner and much more.  For More Elle Chase:  Website | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook Elle’s Naughty Coloring Book | Curvy Girl Sex by Elle Chase | Elle’s Fantasy Course  Show Notes: Tell Me What You Want by Justin Lehmiller Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski The Yes No Maybe List  We Vibe Toys Hosted

When you keep running into the same relationship (or sex) problems over and over again, what’s the one common denominator? Brace yourself…because it’s you. You’re the thing that carries over from partnership to partnership, which is why Gary Bishop, author of the crazy bestseller “Unfu*k Yourself” decided to write a new book – a tough love spin on self-help. It’s called “Love Unfu*ked: Getting Your Relationship Sh!t Together,” and I invited him to chat with me about it. In this interview, Gary and I talk about how to become aware of our destructive relationship habits, and concrete ways to manage them. He tells me the one simple change he made with his current partner that transformed their relationship, and we go deep on feeling threatened: the fight or flight response that inhibits emotional intimacy, not to mention our best sex. But we also talk about the hopeful side of radical self-awareness, and the opportunity in front of us, when we step outside of ourselves, look at our patterns, and change them – to

Today’s show is all about exploring sexual attraction; what it means and how does it fit into romantic love. By the end of today’s episode, you’ll better understand how and why YOU may feel sexually attracted to another person and how that can sometimes be distinct from feelings associated with long-term love. Plus, I take your questions! What to do when you’re straight, but kinda wanna hook up in a non-straight way, what to do when you and your partner are both submissive (and both crave dominance), how to bring back the spark, and when you should hang onto a friend with quality benefits – and, when to let them go.  Show Notes: Sex, Drugs and The Side Effects of Birth Control w/ Ricki Lake & Abby Epstein For More Studies From Justin Lehmiller Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let’s talk anal play! If you’re a booty newbie, where do you begin? What feel-good nerve endings are you looking for? Should you start alone, or with a partner? And how the hell do you go shopping for butt plugs? Listen: if you’ve got backdoor questions, my guests Dr. Charlie Glickman and Dr. Hernando Chaves have answers. Today’s best-of episode is THE anal 101 primer, and if you’re not butt-curious now…you will be, in less than an hour.  Listen up for tips to stimulate the prostate (AKA the male G-spot), how to prepare hygienically,  finger techniques for prostate massage, and how anal play can add so much crazy pleasure to your sex life, no matter your gender.  Show Notes: Dr Charlie Glickman | Website Hernando Chaves | Instagram | Twitter Aneros Skyn Condoms Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do you kickstart sexual arousal? Would you believe me if I told you that sometimes, the best ways to get turned on have nothing to do with sex itself? When you take the focus off the bedroom, and turn your focus toward adventure – the kind that gets your heart-pumping, your adrenaline going, and your anticipation building – a cool thing happens in your brain. You’re excited, and that excitement spills over from the activity into…sex. Pretty nifty, right? So on today’s show, we’re going to trust, touch, and titillate our way towards arousal, with bonding hacks you can use on your next date whether it is with a long term partner or someone new. Plus, I take your questions! Ways to feel confident and sexual again after a breakup, how to have kinky sex with a partner who says they aren’t interested, how to decide if you should wait to develop a relationship with a super busy person or cut em’ loose, how to take sexy pictures with each other, and how to communicate your needs efficiently outside the bedroom so

As much as we’d like sex to be seamlessly hot all the time, sometimes…it gets a little awkward. Too much teeth during a blowjob. An erection that won’t last. Someone farts! It happens - and when it does, it can seriously derail the mood. But does it have to? I’m of the opinion that if we know how to respond during moments like these – with compassion, collaboration, and sometimes a sense of humor – an erotic moment doesn’t have to come to an abrupt halt. So on today’s show, I’m taking the point of view of someone who didn’t “do” the awkward thing, they witnessed it. And by the end, you’ll know how to hold space, how to handle situations like these, and not shame the person on the other side – so you can keep the party going, and continue having fantastic sex.  Show Notes: What It Really Means When You Can’t Stay Hard The Vulva Gallery  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nothing makes me happier than people taking pleasure into their own hands, so my team and I have assembled the 10 MOST popular articles on SexWithEmily.com and we are dedicating this episode to the things our listeners most want to hear. Spoiler alert: you all love porn. And giving pleasure. I see what you’re interested in, I see what you’re curious about – so I consider today’s show scripted by you. It’s a deep dive into our most read articles; whether it’s preparing for a threesome, mastering awkward sex positions, or learning how to squirt.  So buckle up, because this is quite the content-filled episode. Alright, let’s dive in! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you hear the phrase “self-care,” what comes to mind? Bubble baths? Booking a massage? Those things are all lovely (I’d argue essential), but I’ve got one more thing to add to your self-care routine, and I’m going to make a case for it: solo sex, AKA masturbation.  If you’re a regular listener to this show, you know how much of a solo sex advocate I am. But we’re going to go a little deeper into this topic, because there’s still a lot of shame associated with masturbation: fear of getting caught, embarrassment about our noises and facial expressions, confusion around toys and which ones are best. That’s why today’s show is your Solo Sex 101, where we create a solo sex routine that works for you, get into all the ways solo sex nourishes your mental health, and how to get into the right headspace for it. Plus, I take your questions! When masturbation feels depressing, how do you learn to love it? Or when you’re asked to masturbate in front of your partner, but feel self-conscious about it, what do you do? I

Let’s cut right to the chase: doggy style is hot-looking, but is it hot-feeling? I can’t tell you how many questions I get about this position, mostly from people who are confused…wondering if they’re doing it wrong. You’re not! You may just need to tweak it a bit, to make it work for your body. So on today’s show, I give you my favorite doggy style hacks, because let’s be honest — no one wants a broken penis. Let’s avoid the ER, and give you the hot doggy style sex you deserve. Plus, I take your questions! Is polyamory more natural than monogamy? What should you do if you catch feelings for your friend-with-benefits? Is it really cheating if you have a no-sex kink session with an old flame? And finally — body dysmorphia of the vulva. Do you have it? Friends: let me help you love it! Don’t buy the hype, by which I mean false standards. I tell you exactly how to make your vulva a MUCH-deserved object of your affection. Show Notes: Skyn Condoms Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Here in the 21st century, we’re fascinated by something that was invented in the 7th century: tantra, and more specifically, tantric sex. But it’s also one of the most misunderstood practices around, starting with: it’s not just about sex! Tantra is an entire world of spirituality, intimacy, breathwork and presence, which is precisely why I have Barbara Carellas, founder of Urban Tantra, on the show with me today. A pioneer in the world of tantric healing practices, Barbara gives us the real deal on these sacred techniques – and shows us how we can use them in the modern world, for full body pleasure, higher states of consciousness, and a radically deeper connection with your partner.  Plus, I take your questions! How do you stay in the present moment during sex, and not disassociate while it’s happening – or, get so nervous that you block all the pleasure? I’ve got some thoughts on that. For More Information on Barbara: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Youtube | Facebook Show Notes: Emily’s Shop Page Hosted

When it comes to sex in longterm relationships, why do they start hot, then go lukewarm? Why does our eroticism go dormant, once the newness of a relationship wears off? And what are some specific strategies for bringing back the heat we desperately long for? It’s part 2 in our Best Of special on taking your sex life from stale to sexy, and I can’t wait to let you listen in on my conversations with John Wineland and Esther Perel, and a bit of wisdom from Tom Bilyeu. John is a relationship coach specializing in polarity and embodiment, and for this show, I’ve selected his most potent advice on hot sex. According to John, getting in touch with our masculine and feminine energies – regardless of gender – has the power to transform the way we show up in bed. Next, I talk to Esther Perel, well recognized couples therapist, author and fellow podcaster, who explains how a couple’s sex life loses its passion. Our partners become reliable and safe, which is great for a relationship, but according to Esther…not always

It’s the #1 question I get as a sex educator: “our sex life is stale, how do we make it hot again?” For long-term couples, this issue is so common it’s almost a cliche. “Once you’re married, say goodbye to your sex life! Haha!”  Except, it’s not funny, right? It’s actually pretty painful, once the new relationship energy wears off, and we no longer have that magical chemical cocktail running through our veins. That’s why I am so pleased to be doing a two-part, Best Of special on this precise topic, kicking things off with sex educator Ian Kerner, author of the iconic book “She Comes First” and his latest, “So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex?” I’m also sharing advice from Drs. John and Julie Gottman of the Gottman Institute, who have led some of the most comprehensive studies on successful couples, and the key ingredients of their success. (Which includes a great sex life, of course.) I’m pulling out the best-of-the-best of their advice and techniques, so you can try them yourself, and create your own

Squirting during sex: how, exactly, does it happen? Which body part controls it? And what the hell is it made out of? For vulva owners, squirting is a thing of mystery - but it doesn’t need to be. In this special Best Of episode, I’m giving you my tips and firsthand experience with squirting as well as highlights of my conversation with sex educator Deborah Sundahl, who teaches us exactly how to squirt -- and I mean, step by step. For example: did you know, vulva owners, that you have a prostate? That’s the g-spot, despite headlines you see every few months questioning its very existence. Also: did you know that clitoral orgasms and g-spot orgasms are two different things? Finally, with time and practice, did you know that EVERY vulva owner can squirt? It’s not magic -- it’s anatomy! Plus, I take your questions on squirting, from how to start, best positions to do it, and how to communicate to your partner what you want them to do.  Show Notes: Deborah Sundahl: Website | Book Fascinator Throw Ejaculation b

We’ve all heard of red flags in relationships, but let’s be honest: sometimes, they can be terribly hard to spot. Especially when you really want a relationship to work, or, if the other person is super hot. (Am I right?) That’s why I’m bringing you a special episode today, focused on all things red flags -- and green flags -- with my two favorite voices on the matter, psychologist and author Dr. Ramani, and YouTube’s (and probably the world’s) favorite dating coach, Matthew Hussey.  Dr. Ramani and I take a deep dive on narcissism, and talk through things like love bombing, devaluation, and the different types of narcissists out there -- as well as the personality types who tend to fall for them. And if you’re thinking, “I wouldn’t possibly fall for that nonsense,” think again! These folks are master manipulators, and at their core, deeply insecure. Next, Matthew Hussey walks us through our own less-than-ideal tendencies, such as: why we keep going for aloof and unavailable people, how we repeat painful patte

Anything worth having takes time, whether that’s a better sex life, a deeper relationship, or an awesome relationship with your body. But staying consistent is hard: we get bored, we get rebellious, we want to cut corners. We’re human, after all! That’s why, if we want to meet goals - ANY goal - we have to create rituals. And the key to sticking with them? Identifying your “why.” So on today’s Best Of show, I’m talking to Max Lugavere, host of The Genius Life podcast, and Jennifer Cohen, host of Habits and Hustle, to give us the lowdown on sexy self improvement. Max gives me the scoop on food addiction (and its similarities to porn addiction), how daily sunlight improves our health, and how processed food short circuits our satiety signals. Jennifer tells me the three habits successful people all have in common, how to get your partner on-board for working out, and the correlation between exercise and sex drive. Get out your grocery lists and gratitude journals, because after this episode, you’ll be totally i

2021, we hardly knew ya. Just kidding, we totally did, and we’ve got the FaceTime sex to prove it. All year long, we’ve been saving up the very best moments of Sex With Emily, so you can walk into 2022 more sex-wise than ever. From squirting to sex dreams, Nikki Glaser to Esther Perel, we’re doing a hot flashback of YOUR most talked-about episodes.  On this show, we’ve banked the top pieces of sex wisdom from hands-down incredible guests. Discover your dating style, locate the g-spot once and for all, and build your sexual confidence with some of the smartest (and funniest) voices out there. Before you create your New Year’s resolution list, be sure to listen to this one – because I guarantee you, their advice will elevate your 2022.  Show Notes: So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex by Ian Kerner To Find Your Chronotype Female Ejaculation & The G Spot by Deborah Sundahl Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Where do men get their earliest messages about sex and intimacy? Why do they talk about banging / pounding / hitting it (like they’re at a construction site), and how does this conditioning affect your sex life – no matter your gender? Peggy Ornstein is the author of several iconic books on teens and sex, but on today’s fan favorite episode, she joins me to talk about Boys & Sex: a fascinating account of young men as they navigate hookups, porn and relationships, as told by the boys she interviewed.  In this episode, you’ll learn how even in the shadow of #MeToo, boys are still confused about having mutually fulfilling sex, while still being a “man.” Listen - when it comes to masculinity, Peggy is an expert. She explains why she doesn’t love the term “toxic masculinity.” She recognizes that men get a confusing message: be dominant, but don’t be too aggressive. Reporting from the front lines of bro culture, Peggy reveals the sex conundrum that men so often find themselves in, and ways we can all evolve to have

To get our needs met, we first have to be able to articulate our needs – and be brave enough to share them out loud. But it’s easier said than done! We get worried about what the other person will say, or we don’t have the words to express what we want, so we bury those longings and wait for a better time. Then before we know it, years have passed, and that better time never arrived. We’re sexually frustrated and resentful, because we never had the sex talk that was crucial to our happiness…until now.  On this show, we’re leaning into discomfort, so we can come out on the other side sexually satisfied. In other words: we’re learning how to have a sex talk! Even when it’s just with yourself. How do you cultivate positive self-talk, when everyone around you affirms your hotness - but your brain just doesn’t buy it? Or how about when one of you wants to have sex every day, and the other doesn’t: how do you communicate your way through mismatched desires? Finally, let’s get into improving the quality of your sex

“Women cheat for emotional connection, men cheat for sex.” “Men are horn dogs, women are frigid.” Heard any of this before? Did you know these are factually untrue? In this fan favorite episode, cultural anthropologist and bestselling author Wednesday Martin joins me to talk about female sexuality research findings, now that more females are entering the field of sex research. Believe me when I say: her revelations will change your life. Wednesday’s book Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free was a major conversation starter. Today, we’re more open to alternative relationship models, and a huge part of that is because of Wednesday. In this conversation, she debunks the lies we’ve been told for decades about female sexuality, including: men just want to spread their seed, while women want to protect their precious eggs. Wrong! Turns out, monogamy is pretty rough on female desire. How about this one: women cheat because they cr

Welcome to the wide world of alternative relationship models. Opening up, threesomes, and swinging are increasingly becoming more mainstream, so naturally, we’ve got questions. Some of us do better with monogamy, but some of us thrive with a little variety - and no matter where we land on the spectrum of relationships and sex, we can always gain vocabulary to explore our desires, and act on our pleasure. So on today’s show, I take your questions on open relationships and we get into it. First, we tackle open relationships when we’re already partnered. How do you establish the ground rules? What do you do when your partner has a date but you don’t, and you feel that jealousy coming on? Next, threesomes and swinging: how do you practice safe sex in a group sex situation? Finally: when you’re the third party, what’s the best way to talk to the partner of your partner? In this case, and truly all others, the key is becoming a grade A communicator – because if there’s one thing you can count on in an alternative r