Intentional Living With Tanya Hale

Recently I was interviewed on a podcast called 'Latter-day Life Coaches' about the work I often do with divorced women and men in the church. We're not so unique anymore, but often the stigma of being divorced can seem pretty big whether you're the one who is divorced, or whether it's someone you know. Sometimes we don't know what to do with ourselves, and others don't know what to do with us either! But divorce is such an incredible opportunity to grow into a better version of ourselves. Let's talk about it!

Three weeks into your New Years goals and you might be finding yourself waning a bit. You are so not alone! Often we think that we are committed to something when we are actually just interested in it. We think we 'should' really want to accomplish this goal for reasons that don't really align with our values. Understanding these concepts can help us to interact with more grace towards ourselves, find more peace in our lives, and actually accomplish more.

What is the impact of our personal growth on the lives of those around us?  Here's an interview with my daughter Allison where we talk about how my personal growth over the last few years has impacted her life in positive ways.  Because when one person changes, it impacts everyone they come in contact with.

Do you feel like you're stuck? Middle-age has come and you don't know what you want to do, how to move forward, or how to fix what you want to fix? Today we are talking about how to shift your mindset so you can begin to move forward, get unstuck, and dream amazing dreams again. Because middle-age is the perfect time to start resurrecting your dreams that may have been put on the back shelf while you were busy raising a family and dreaming dreams for them. Now it's your turn. Let's go!

Do you want to create something different in your life?  Maybe deeper relationships or more purpose?  Becoming the person we really want to be will require some risk on your part.  All growth requires that we step into discomfort and into doing things we have never done before in order to become our desired person.  Let's talk today about what this can mean for you.

When our children choose to take a different path than we, as their parents, have envisioned for them, we will often label them as 'wayward.' Let's chat today about how not only does this term 'wayward' not serve us or them, but also how our children, using their free agency to make their own choices, bless our lives and help us to become more the kind of people we really want to be.

I do believe that the holiday season is one of the greatest reasons for stress and anxiety for a lot of people. Today I have 6 really practical tips for you on how you can step back from the stress, spread yourself a little thicker, and really enjoy your holidays this year.

Parenting adult children is nothing like parenting our younger, dependent children. It requires a completely different mindset and skillset. Learning how to approach these relationships from a new perspective will help to create the better, stronger relationship you really want.

So often we think that if we are kind to ourselves that we are letting ourselves off the hook, and that the only way to motivate ourselves is it call us out by saying harsh things. Today I want to offer that, actually, the best way to motivate ourselves and get us moving in the direction we want, is to extend greater kindness in how we speak to and interact with ourselves. Let's talk about the why and the how.

Although we are often taught to forget ourselves and serve others, there is one place where stepping into "I" will always serve us the best and also help us to serve others.  Learning to manage our thoughts around how we want to show up and what we want to create in our lives is an incredibly valuable tool to becoming our next best version.  

Really though, we can make change easier. By understanding some great things about our primitive brain, and by learning to leverage them, we can 'hack' the part of our brain that resists change and we can begin to make the changes that we seek.

Have you ever paid attention to how often you use the phrase, 'I don't know'?  It seems to be a default for our brain when it doesn't want to expend the energy and the effort to figure something out.  The problem is, that 'I don't know' is a lie and a bad habit that will keep us stuck and impede our progress.  In this podcast we're going to talk about why it seems to be our 'go to' and how to move ourselves out of 'I don't know' and into 'I'm figuring it out.'

We are just starting into the holiday season and there's one thing so many of us dread - the drama.  But what if we could drop the drama?  What if we could just enjoy the people, the conversations, the sentiments and the season for what we really want them to be? Today we're going to talk about just how to do that - how to show up in a way where we can sit on the sofa after it's all over and just feel really satisfied with how we showed up.

  Boundaries are essential for healthy and strong relationships. Setting appropriate boundaries engages our self-respect and also protects the relationship from destructive feelings such as resentment, anger, and frustration. Today we are digging a little deeper into what boundaries are, how to set them, and why they can sometimes feel so tricky.  

It can be so easy to see the inconsistencies between how we're living and how we really want to be living, and the space between these two is really important.  Often, we may find that this space is ideal for berating ourselves and a lot of negative self-talk, but if we can learn instead to create a space for grace, we'll find that the distance between where we are and where we want to go becomes easier and more attainable.

Peace is something that is often on the top of our want list.  We want to have peace in our lives, to be free of contention.  But so often we go about 'keeping the peace' by not being honest or speaking up about things that matter to us, which actually creates the opposite of peace.  Let's talk about it!

Growth is not just a byproduct of challenges, it is also a skill to be learned. When we develop the skill of growth, over time it becomes easier and even fun, just as any skill we learn does. When this happens, seeing our flaws and our weaknesses is no longer an overwhelming, daunting task before us, but a challenge we know we can overcome.

Divorce can be one of those circumstances that seems like it spirals us into negative thoughts and feelings. And though it can be challenging because it necessitates that we show up differently than we have been, it doesn't have to be a place where we get stuck in despair or in victim mentality. Let's talk today about how to rewrite your divorce story into one that serves you and helps you to move into a better, healthier, and happier version of yourself.

Many of us in middle-age have lost touch with what we really want in life. We've forgotten about our desires and our dreams, our wants and our wishes. Learning to tap into these again, or for the first time, is a brilliant part of mid-life growing up. Join me today as we chat about how asking the question, 'What don't I want?' can help you start to identify what it is you really do want in life.

Do you have a tough time accepting compliments? You're not alone. Today we're going to work on understanding why it can be so difficult and how to learn to accept them more graciously. It's such a valuable skill when we're working on personal growth and progression.