Tweet Me Harder

Kris and David decide that normal books are boring and insufficient, and instead set out to BETTER the world with the invention of strange and marvelous BOOK DISGUISES.

Kris and David endorse cereals, hack the Twitter character set, explore euphemisms on television shows, speak the language of adulthood, and plumb the meanings of names.

In the series finale of Tweet Me Harder, Kris and David revitalize the -trix suffix for all professions, explain their own fathers' podcast catastrophes, explain what keeps corpses from floating off into the atmosphere, and finally close the causality loop.

In this collection of deleted bits from prior Tweet Me Harder episodes, Kris and David make the perfect sound effect, defend their parking preferences, comment on the President, and flee from the law.

Kris and David raise children in a webcam-equipped dungeon, make every snapshot a prize-winning piece of journalism, abandon soap for good, learn what makes the best rodeo clowns so good, and grow dinosaurs in their sinuses.

Kris and David discover why marbles went out of fashion, realize exactly what the snack-food industry has long been hoping that someone would, use stock-car racing to make important scientific discoveries, and tell the waiter to hold the magnets, please!

Kris and David try for the full sensory cycle with this rousing discussion of smell-tuba concerts, advances in home illumination, the best way to sneak out of jail, incredibly intuitive explanations for global warming, and how to get to know your neighbors. Plus, David describes his past as an art forger.

Kris and David reveal the elaborate plots of the undead, spend time alone in their room with carpet samples, write a bestselling book to blow the minds of tweens, and endure relationship problems stemming from being a fish-man and a werewolf respectively.

Kris and David compare products to their marketing, make everything out of potatoes, and in Ask Me Harder, determine the best joint for macaroni, probe the sleep of the genders, and isolate the Dorito spice.

Kris and David crack the code of hobby horse classification, bodily organs of a different kind, designer bacon, Deaf Coca-Cola, and bring it all home with hot dogs.

Kris and David broadcast LIVE from the 2010 New England Webcomics Weekend after passing the audio signal through the voice box of an abandoned Russian submarine and letting a squirrel sit on it for a while.

Kris and David create a sham conservatory for diseased wild animals, examine the quantum state of stuntmen, find the best seats in the movie theater, decry foreign languages, peer into buildings, and compare notes with Kevin McShane regarding the events of the last few weeks.

Kris, trapped in a nightmarish foreign problem-hospital, grows increasingly frantic as David thwarts dangers of his own en route to his rescue. Also, a solution for safely fireproofing homes, Kevin McShane steals a helicopter, and we finally learn the Greentown-kroner-to-hotdog exchange rate.

David turns to European drilling-platform sovereign John Allison for clues to Kris's whereabouts. The two debate the fashion choices of dictators, the sometime necessity of proxy hugging, the importance of choosing one's stamp-mate, and how many watts of music power TMH can muster.

David and guest host Chris Hastings unpack the parochial history of roller-coasters, the pressure not placed on pets to be ethical, prospects for the Smithsonian Sneezing-Animal Emporium, and come to a conclusion regarding the safety of European hospitals.

Guest host Colleen AF Venable joins David to describe the afterlife of mac-n-cheese, how to deal with sweet or savory individuals in a post-racial society, and what to feed an electric water snake. Meanwhile, Kris lives it up in fancy-pants Europe.

David and guest-host Dave Kellett explain the weather inside a blimp hangar, the hidden hazards of working with Post-It glue, the joy of being a hobbyist actuary, how the Slavs do the Amber Alert, and where the heck Kris got off to.

When Kris is late showing up for the show, Kevin McShane steps in to help David out. The upbeat pair wackily discuss doorknobs, gas ovens, and the Internet!

Kris and David flee hazardous weather, consider sustainable ways to melt frozen blood, become modern equivalents to swordsmen, use drill-bits as their sigil, and John Allison's TMH fanfic reaches its nail-biting conclusion.

Kris and David consider commissioning a TMH mascot, marvel at the Dry-Erase Guild Society's inventive goings-on, hear listener tales of Forgettable Adventures, and John Allison's TMH fanfic reaches a fever pitch.