Things That Are News

This week the boys discuss how you can be racist but still get your show rebooted decades later because everyone is so desperately craving a sense of nostalgia, or conversely, maybe we’re secretly biased against the under-represented conservatives that finally have a show that is genuine for them? Who knows, we haven’t made a shower BUT we will one day! Well . . . if we keep talking this spicy, it may have gone out the window just now. Have any of your old sitcoms you are thinking rebooting? Hook your boys up & E-mail us at: Thingsthingarenews@gmail.com Help us manipulate the next Canadian elections at: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ ...or just follow us on social media at: www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys discuss society’s favorite reptilian overlord, Mark Zuckerberg & his mind-control device named Facebook. We’re not trying to be too pessimistic here, but … ahem .. we told you. Cambridge Analytica, Shmambridge Shmanalytica. The boys know the facts and all of your personal details through our cookie recording website & RSS feed. Would you like us to give you back your personal information? Email us at: Thingsthingarenews@gmail.com Help us manipulate the next Canadian elections at: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ ...or just follow us on social media at: www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys talk about yet another fallen great, Mr. Stephen Hawking. We discuss the lines of ableism while also being overall risque as-per-usual. Do you want to learn about how physics have changed our world? Well, don't ask us, go buy a book boy. Email your questions on space-time to: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com (don’t ask why) Help us fund our own text-to-voice program at: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ ...or just follow us on social media at: www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

The Oscars happened, but who really cares right? This week the boys talk bigger and better things for our future - who would win in a giant laser fight, Trump or Kim Jong Un? Looking for some news? Looking for some greatness for your earholes, look no further because Jeff & Bayley are here! Email your latest software updates for controlling international satellites to: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com (don’t ask why) Help us fund our own rocket development program at: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ ...or just follow us on social media at: www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys talk about stand-up like we've actually done it before. We are a little worried that the market may be oversaturated so we are here to give you another awesome podcast to listen to instead of a Netflix special with a budget. Are you a Chappelle chap or more of a Louis Lover? If you can't choose either, well why don't you just get the balls to go to an open mic on your own. Email your sketches so that we can sell them to Amy Schumer and get rich: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us fund Jeff's new spin off podcast: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ ...or just follow us on social media at: www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys discuss all the weird/real issues of our current world. We don't really have the answers but my pa did always tell me the best solution to a problem is a hefty Colt .45. Practice your lockdown drills and get your Twitter fingers ready, because this one is a doozy. Email your NRA applications in full to: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us fund international gun club tour at: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ ...or just follow us on social media at: www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys talk about if the Olympics really matter anymore & what could we even be able to do instead, Also, what is the future of Late Night Shows? Listen to our Leno-loges & watch us Fallon-fy the podcast game. Submit your official FCC complaint too: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us fund our new sports exhibition at: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ ...or just follow us on social media at: www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys talk about our future space exploration, all the crazy good/bad Superbowl trailers and everything else that happened this week. Is Elon launching us all to Mars? Is there going to be a new Crocodile Dundee movie? Tune in and find out Tell us your space dreams at: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us fund our new movie at: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ ...or just follow us on social media at: www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys are joined by a guest after a short break of having friends. Lesia GM joins us to discuss why Bruno Mars is poppin’, Jeff announces his loss by predicting the Patriots and talk some serious news. Get your emotional support peacocks ready, cause this episode is one for the books. Send us explanations why we were terrible at predicting the Superbowl at: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us afford to put out music so we can be in the next Grammy season: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ Follow Lesia on Instagram at: www.Instagram.com/LesiaGM/ ...or just follow us on social media at: www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys talk about the drama on the interwebs and mainstream media. The Oscars are on their way and who cares the most?! We...kinda… do! Do you know de way? De way to get it so everyone in the film world will finally acknowledge our non-existent IMDb page. Also, we judge those who we have no place to because we can and THIS IS OUR SHOW DAMNIT! Send us your Oscar award winning picks at: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us earn that nomination with some payola: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ ...or just follow us on social media at: www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys talk about how crazy our world is lately - people’s dark stories from the past coming back to light, awkward sexual advances and the freedom of the interweb slipping through our trump-sized hands. All in all, the complex debates come to a very important question. We want to know your thoughts on the hot topic of the week: What should Aziz do? email us your tips on how to respect women at: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us take-over the new year by giving us a dollar, like just a dollar : www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ ...or just follow us on social media at: www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

New Year, New Me! Are y’all ready for getting toned abs, quitting drinking and digesting less delicious calories? We aren’t… even though we may have committed to a few. This week on the hypocrite show, the boys discuss their vision for the complain about whether or not the general public is going to keep to their resolutions and give you their perspectives on if - OR IF NOT - the world will end in 2018. Send us your 2018 predictions, email us at: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us take-over the new year by giving us a dollar, like just a dollar : www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ ...or just follow us on social media at: www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys look at the best and worst thing that happened in the world this week. All the fun we had with movies, Trump and everything in between. Email us your favourite news stories: thingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us surrive another year www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys process their emotions, I mean things are shaky when your most trusted franchise has you leaving the theatre confused. Old friend of the pod and one of the original hosts of Things That Are News - Chris - joined us so that we can try to make sense of all this. How many porgs is too many porgs? What are the limits of the force now? Did mickey mouse get his white gloved hands into our beloved Star Wars a little too much? Feel free to follow up with your thoughts, We want to debate back at you. Email us your best Snoke theories too: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us actually buy presents for our fam: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

In the spirit of Krampus, or Festivus, damn it, Christmas, the boys recorded a very special Christmas special to brag about all of our presents or lack thereof. No disrespect to J-Man and his birthday but we dived into holiday obligations, traditions and myths that we do not understand. Shout-out and happy holidays to all those that don't celebrate X-mas Email us your best gift tales to: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us actually buy presents for our fam: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys talk about how Disney is going to brainwash us all. I mean, did I say brainwash? I mean give us hundreds of good movies of course! Really though, the boys discuss the implications of Disney putting in a bid on one of the largest movie studios out there, what they get from it and what it means for our media landscape. Following up, Bayley gives his rapid fire synopsis on the upcoming Star Wars. (SPOILERS) The boys saw the movie immediately after and he was mostly wrong. Send us your tips on how to make force ghosts. Email us at: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us create our own film we’ll never be able to pitch to a real studio anymore: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys talk about the dark underbelly of society, #Elsagate. While we painstakingly melt our brains from discussing how Peppa The Pig is destroying the youth of tomorrow we also dig into what’s destroying the youth of today - Battlefront 2. Keep in mind, our lawyers wrote this this caption. Send us your latest demented cartoon straight to us. Email us at: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us create our own animation studio to corrupt the youth: www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys rambled about robots for far too long. Can you blame us though? The future is a scary thing! We talk more Justice League rumours and local news as well, but I mean the bigger question is will robots make our movies in the future? What do you want - A maid like the Jetsons? A sex robot? An I-Robot robot? More importantly, which one will kill you in your sleep quicker. Send us your latest updates & plugins for our robo-operating systems. Email us at: ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com Help us avoid being in the lower class of people who can’t afford robots - www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys touch base on what Thanksgiving is really all about. I mean we’re Canadian so we already did ours but let’s just move past that. After that, we touch base on what it potentially means if private organizations have control over what you can and cannot say on the interwebs. I have a funny feeling that if people could choose, our podcast may not be here right now… So gobble up that turkey & loosen a couple buttons on them jeans cause the boys are going in baby! E-mail us your worst thanksgiving family fights @ ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com. Send us them payments for extra turkey @- www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews Show us some digital love @ www.thingsthatarenews.com or just follow us on social media... www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/

This week the boys start the show off disappointed about Justice League. I mean, how much Snyder can one man really handle. Digitally-removed staches, robo-parademons & a trident that’s not really even a trident… Okay rant over. Really though, the boys discussed what would be best if you were to replace your limbs with robot parts: legs, arms or wieners, who knows?! Alright alright, forget about yo’self, would you design your baby? Listen to find out! E-mail us your latest updates for our Robo-legs @ ThingsThatAreNews@gmail.com. Send us them payments for replacement parts @- www.patreon.com/ThingsThatAreNews Show us some digital love @ www.thingsthatarenews.com or just follow us on social media... www.facebook.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Instagram.com/ThingsThatAreNews/ www.Twitter.com/ThingsNews/