The Look & Sound Of Leadership

This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom and Courtney, another executive coach. What traits, they wonder, do effective executives share? If rising leaders wanted to reverse engineer what it means to be executives, what would they put in the mix? The five qualities Tom and Courtney identify are: Resilience -- get over hurts and setbacks  Influence – build a natural reserve of strong relationships  Organization –  create lead-time and eliminate fire drills  Scope – maintain the highest altitude possible; resist the weeds Speed of Thought – exert alertness and be mentally nimble   At the end of this month’s commentary, Tom lists six books, each one different, but all leading towards personal growth and professional development. They are… Change Your Questions, Change Your Life The Confidence Code Crucial Conversations or Difficult Conversations EQ Applied Self-Esteem at Work The Four Agreements   Want a free PDF of these titles, including who might prefer which? Click here and put “6 Books” in th

This month’s coaching conversation features a newly promoted leader. He and Tom explore the tools needed to build a strong team quickly. Lots of links this month! At one point in the episode, Rafael mentions his impostor syndrome. For tools about impostor syndrome, check out: The Executive Impostor In the commentary, I mention two books: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team and Overcoming The Five Dysfunctions of a Team This is the field guide that will show you how to work with your team. Other related episodes are: Delivering Tough Feedback Managing Bad Behavior The Intentional Leader Your Team’s Best Interests – Part One Your Team’s Best Interests – Part Two There are three filters in the archive that relate to this episode: Leading Teams Negative Self-Talk Perception — How You Perceive Yourself The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com As I

Two dates: Monday, November 30, 2020 The survey closes. Complete four questions to be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom https://essentialcomm.com/survey Thursday, December 3, 2020 Registration closes for “Leveraging Your Strengths and the Strengths of Others.” After decades delivering courses for our corporate clients, we finally created a course for you. Register at: https://essentialcomm.com/disc The gift is a 60-second practice to help you be strong and resilient. Take care of yourselves! From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership”

This month’s coaching conversation is about creating a script called ‘Style.’ The script helps make difficult conversations easier. Complete this month’s four-question survey and be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom. essentialcomm.com/survey Sign-up for a small-group, highly interactive Zoom course about the DiSC Behavioral Self-Assessment. This course is available to the first 12 people who sign up: essentialcomm.com/disc If the sign-up is closed when you go to the page, put your name on the wait list. Maybe we’ll have more than one session! Related episodes this month include: Capitalizing on Differences in Style (this one is all about DiSC styles!) Conflict Leadership and Self-Deception Self-Knowledge as Leadership The Conflict Conversation Stay safe, everyone. Sane, too! See you next month. The Look & Sound of Leadership team

This month’s coaching conversation follows a leader who worries that he’s not very adept when it comes to creating personal connections. He and Tom explore two skills and one mindset that will help ease his way. Related episodes: Dynamic One-on-ones Facilitating Open Dialogue Inviting Dialogue Questions as Leadership The Human Element   In the archive, this episode is tagged in three categories Relationship Building Social Skills Managing Yourself   Help us build a better website for you. Complete our survey at: essentialcomm.com/survey and be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom! The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com Thanks, everyone! From all of us at “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

This month’s coaching conversation explores how leaders can foster psychological safety. Teams high in both safety and accountability enter a “Learning Zone” where high performance follows naturally. In this month’s conversation, Tom and his client mentioned “The Checklist Manifesto” by Atul Gawande. His proposition is a great formula for creating psychological safety. Related episodes are: Agreeable Disagreement Assertion versus Aggression “Don’t Take Anything Personally” Inviting Dialogue The Conflict Conversation In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories Assertiveness Leadership Managing Yourself The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com PLEASE COMPLETE OUR SURVEY You’ll be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom! Your input will help us build a better website for you. essentialcomm.com/survey From the whole team at “

This month’s coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver upward feedback effectively? In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the famous Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here's the column he mentions: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/06/marshmallow-test/561779/?utm_source=atl&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=share   Related episodes are: Dealing With Emotional Responses Delivering Tough Feedback Giving Powerful Feedback Perception is Reality The Disruptive Executive – Part One In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories Communication Skills Feedback Managing Up The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com See you next month!

This month’s coaching conversation follows a client exploring a surprising use for video, plus a game of imagination. The Marshmallow Test is explained in “Self-Awareness & Self-Management” Core Concepts in this episode: Video provides distance that can help break old patterns. Some people are highly agitated these days. Their agitation is not about you. Don’t take it personally. You might find yourself more annoyed than normal. Don’t act on it.   RELATED ARCHIVE CATEGORIES Leading Teams Managing Yourself Communication Skills RELATED TIPS & EPISODES Boundaries Connecting Over Video “Don’t Take Anything Personally” Leadership Behavior in Meetings Taming Meetings The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks this month to all of you who post reviews. See you next month!

This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length! This month’s coaching conversation is wide-ranging. It includes a leader’s story about being buoyed by her team. She and Tom also swap answers to a favorite question of her team’s: “How’re ya coping?” They then explore managing stress through being present and intentional. Three questions to help you become present: What am I doing right now? What feelings am I having right now? What is happening in my body right now? Approach these questions with curiosity. Don’t ask with an intention to fix. The intention is just to notice. You can explore self-management and self-awareness in the archive using the filters: Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development You can take a deeper dive with these five episodes: Combating Emotional Hijacks Connecting Over Video Inviting Dialogue Self-Awareness & Self-Management The Mindful Executive The archive is at:

SHOWNOTES: This month’s coaching conversation is with a leader who wants to keep strong connections despite the quarantine. She and Tom explore the barriers that make connecting over video so difficult. Four essentials to attend to on video: Angle Lighting Background Sound From Tom to you: These difficult times can create a lot of fear. An antidote is to be curious. Curiosity is at the very heart of coaching. If I can help in anyway, let me know. Go to https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ and let me know what would be helpful. There is always help for you in the archive. Filters that relate to this month’s episode are: Executive Presence Perception – How You’re Perceived Leading Teams Managing Yourself   Five related episodes are: Video Feedback & Executive Presence Executive Presenting High-Stakes Meetings Building Emotional Intelligence The Human Element The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with To

This month’s coaching conversation explores how to project your personal brand into the workplace. When done well it can seem like a Jedi mind trick – but it’s really just personal branding. Here are the five links Tom mentioned in the episode. Looking good in video conferencing https://medium.com/@bobsacha/a-cinematographers-guide-to-looking-good-in-web-based-video-conferencing-fb6cf651714c   4 Ways to Improve Video Meetings https://www-forbes-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2020/03/22/these-four-techniques-will-instantly-improve-your-videoconferences-with-remote-employees/amp/ Coronavirus Doctor Empowers Us https://vimeo.com/399733860   “That Discomfort You’re Feeling…” https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief Executive Coaching Group https://www.icfla.org/event/executive-coaching-sig/   Core Concepts in this episode: > We brand ourselves with our self-talk every day > Find language to help you talk about yourself > Talking about yourself is not

This month’s coaching conversation is with a high-performer who was passed over for a promotion. Together, she and Tom identify tools to make sure she doesn’t get passed over again. Core Concepts in this episode: > Aisha chose to NOT be self-promotional. In your organization, a more vocal approach may be effective. > Click out. Think from a higher altitude. Give yourself the promotion. > Networking is not evil. But have intention. Be a good detective. Related Archive Categories: Managing Yourself Related Tips & Episodes: Acting on the Corporate Stage Leading Teams Managing Former Peers Networking The Flexible Leader The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks this month to Paul Ison and George Avelino. You guys are the best. And thanks to all of you who are in touch and who post reviews. So much thanks! See you next month!

This month’s coaching conversation isn’t so much a conversation as a fencing match. A newly installed president grills Tom about the coaching he’s been delivering at her company for years. There are two different strands you might follow from this episode. One is about coaching. You might listen to these episodes: Coaching Your People Coaching Versus Therapy Readiness in Coaching Another strand you might follow is about self-management. Episodes on that strand would be: Creating New Behaviors How Behaviors Change High Stakes Meetings You could also search the archive using the filters: Developing New Behaviors Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ From all of us, thanks! See you next month!

This month’s coaching conversation examines phrases we use that lead us into self-deception. Tom and his client explore why thinking errors so often remain invisible and, once revealed, what other words might be possible substitutions. SHOW NOTES: Tom mentions two books in this episode: “How To Raise Your Self-Esteem” by Nathaniel Branden https://www.amazon.com/Raise-Your-Self-Esteem-Action-Oriented-Self-Confidence/dp/0553266462/ “The Four Agreement” by Don Miguel Ruiz https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319 Related Tips & Episodes Don’t Take Anything Personally Self-Awareness & Self-Management Self-Limiting Beliefs Smoothing Harsh Edges Three Words You Should Never Say   This Tip is in five categories in the archive: For Women, Managing Yourself, Perception - How You Perceive Yourself, Personal Growth & Self-Development, Self-Talk   The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/

This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the eternal struggle to depersonalize the events in our lives that feel so personal. Is it even possible to actualize the adage, “Don’t take it personally?” Tom mentions two books that can help you manage yourself so you don’t take things personally: The Four Agreements Six Pillars of Self-Esteem   In the archive, this Tip is in five categories: Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Others Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk Five related Coaching Tips you can listen to are Acting on the Corporate Stage Animating Your Persona Don’t Take It Personally Self-Limiting Beliefs Taming the Wild Child Lots to browse through!   The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom: https://essentialcomm.com/contact From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership,” thanks! See you next month!

This month’s coaching conversation explores how hard it can be to say ‘no’ sometimes. Together, Tom and his client come up with four strategies for setting better boundaries.This month’s coaching conversation explores how hard it can be to say ‘no’ sometimes. Together, Tom and his client come up with four strategies for setting better boundaries. Tom mentions three books that will help you speak up and set boundaries:  Crucial Conversations https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second/dp/0071771328/ The Four Agreements https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Toltec-Wisdom-Collection/dp/1878424580/ Leadership and Self-Deception https://www.amazon.com/Leadership-Self-Deception-Getting-Out-Box/dp/1523097809/ If you want to receive a zip file with Executive Coaching Tips related to assertiveness, reach out to Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com This Tip is in four categories in the archive: Developing New Behaviors Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk For Women Lots to browse

This month’s coaching conversation follows an executive’s journey from a bulldozer, rolling over people and their ideas, to a thoughtful seeker of ways to get his ideas heard while also building positive relationships. Related episodes are: Assertion versus Aggression Be Impeccable With Your Word Disagree Agreeably – yes, that was an episode long ago! Don’t Take It Personally The Conflict Conversation Sorting & Labeling This Tip is in four categories in the archive: Communication Skills Executive Presence For Women Relationship Building The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ From all of us, thanks! See you next month!

  This month’s coaching conversation centers on learning how to watch yourself on video. It might be uncomfortable at times, but the benefits are enormous. During the commentary, Tom talks about a checklist for you. It’s here. direct link: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Video-Review-Checklist.pdf Related episodes are Captivate Your Audience Executive Presenting “I Talk Too Fast!” Performing Like a TED Talker The Power of Rehearsal This Tip is in these categories in the archive: Executive Presence Feedback Presentation Skills Perception – How You Perceive Yourself The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Tom is at: info@essentialcomm.com From all of us here, thanks! See you next month!                    

This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length! Related episodes are: Sorting & Labeling A Breakdown of Listening Leadership & Listening Short Sounds Confident In the archive, this Tip is tagged in four categories Communication Skills Leadership Relationship Building Social Skills The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a leader who finds herself in a storm of heavy seas. To help her find calm, Tom shares a technique from his past. You can grab the PDF that Tom mentions in this episode at: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/MindfulnessResources.pdf In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories: For Women Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk Related episodes are: Combating Emotional Hijacks Conquering Fear Eliminating Distractions Choosing Persistence The Mindful Executive The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version and get transcripts of each month’s episode at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks, all! See you next month! "The Look & Sound of Leadership" team